What do you think???

[Summerblaze]

I went for my 20 week scan a week ago. Everything looked fine with baby although I had to go for a walk around to move baby for her to see the 4 chambers of the heart clearly.

Before we started, she asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. I didn't as I like a surprise and I didn't find out with my DD (7) or my DS (3).

She looked about for a bit checking things. I didn't have a great view of the screen as she had it turned more to her so I was craning my neck round to have a look.

I thought I saw boy bits although I'm not sure if a)she was even in that area, b)I was getting them confused with the cord etc and c) I obviously couldn't see that well. DH never saw anything at all.

I took my DD with us and the sonographer asked if she was excited about the new baby. She said yes but I added "but only if its pink" and DD said "well I already have a brother". The sonographer kind of hesitated as if she didn't know what to say and then kind of said "well it will be a surprise" and I said to DD "it will be what it will be". I thought the way she said it was as if she was thinking "poor child, she is getting another brother" but DH thought she said it as if she really wanted to tell DD that she could be happy but couldn't say. FWIW, DH thinks its a girl and I think its a boy so my mother said that we were reading into it what we wanted to.

I was kinda sure all the way through ttc and this pg that I would have another boy. DH has a sister who has 1 DD (and is not having anymore). I have a sister who has a DD and is now pg with no.2 (also a surprise and her last). As I have a DD and a DS I have had it in my head that my sister will have a DD and I will have a DS. I really can't see us both having girls and I am convinced that she is as then my son would be the only boy from both our families.

I am a little gutted now. Not because I am bothered either way as such but that it doesn't seem to be much of a surprised now as with how I feel, plus maybe seeing boy bits and what the sonographer said, it seems as if a boy is certain and I might as well throw out the list of girls names we have. Been around the shops today looking for xmas presents and didn't even go near the baby girls section.

My question is, if we don't want to know, does the sonographer even bother looking for it or is it something they have to look at. Did she even know which sex it was and if she did do you think she gave it away.

Obviously my main concern is that baby is ok which he/she is but I am just a bit fed up that now I feel as if I already know.

Cant comment on whether they check routinely for the gender, but in my last pregnancy the sonographer used 'he' and my DH was convinced we were having a boy, imagine his surprise when a girl arrived!

Same this pregnancy different hospital, sonographer said 'his' profile, this time however DH has said that means nothing having learnt his lesson from last time!

Its a strange thing though, as we always like a surprise, and yet spend a lot of time guessing! I too thought I saw boys bits but tbh theres that much going on its hard to work out whats what!

I would not read into her reaction too much, peoples reactions when put on the spot are hard to read, especially as she knew you wanted a surprise!

As you said,it will be what it will be and DD will not mind one bit when he or she arrives,enjoy preparing for either one as there is no guarantee had you have asked that the sonographer would have been right anyway!

Even at a gender scan, there is still room for error - I don't think they ever guarantee what it is. I wouldn't throw the list of girls' names out yet!

At my 20wk scan for this one the MW (MWs do our scans rather than sonographers) explained everything she was looking for and didn't mention looking for genitals at any point - we're not told the sex at routine scans here (that's an extra £50 and a separate scan thank you very much) - and I could see the screen the whole time, there was no way this baby was showing off it's bits to anyone.

I have no experience in this area whatsoever but it sounds like you're reading a lot of stuff into it. I don't think they look if you don't ask them to because, unless there is some sort of disease that you're a carrier of that is passed down through certain genders, they don't need to know. But I could be wrong.
My DH is convinced we're having a girl because he saw 2 circles on the screen but as I pointed out, he could've been looking at the baby's kidneys for all he knows about scans (it's our first).