Baby shower....?

[beckymcfc]

What does everyone think of the idea of having a baby shower and when in pregnancy do you usually hold them?

It's my first pregnancy and not many friends have babies so I have never been to one before, although I have heard they are becoming more popular in the UK.

What do you do at baby showers, who do you invite and where do you tend to have them?

All past experiences welcome :-) I like the idea of lots of presents

Personally I feel that they are unnecessary. I would prefer people to celebrate a successful and healthy birth. If however a friend organised a surprise one I would enjoy it, but would not arrange it myself.

I thought it was something a friend sorted out? Its a tad grabby doing it yourself imo.

They are still pretty unusual in the UK and I've not been to one. I have only heard of friends organising one for you - I don't think it is the done thing to organise it yourself.

It's my sister who has suggested I have one and she has offered to organise everything I just wanted to see what kind of thing tends to happen at one

You'll find this is a bit of a devisive topic on MN! Personally I didn't want one-too much like counting chickens for my liking.

I'm sort of in two minds. I've only been to one (lots of my friends have had babies but only one had a shower). It was nice, a good opportunity to catch up with people and coo over baby clothes etc., but I think it was a bit weird for those of us who weren't pregnant or already mums. Everyone with kids felt the need to tell their graphic birth stories (for the benefit for the mum to be, but still), give their top tips for breastfeeding etc. and it meant that some of us just couldn't really join in and it was a bit hard going (lots of wine knocked back, I can tell you...).

The gift bit really divided people too: some people had gone wild with really expensive/big gifts, others had bought a simple token or just a 'joke' gift. All the presents were opened by the mum in front of everyone, and some of the guests were visibly mortified that theirs seemed so small in comparison. I know some of the girls actually really didn't approve of the whole thing and quite resented it - mostly as they saw it as an opportunity to get more gifts.

I think it could be lovely as a small gathering of closest friends and family to look forward to the baby, if someone else takes it upon themselves to throw it as a kindness to the mum. I'd actually prefer not to have one and have a party myself to introduce people to the baby when it comes, although I one of my friends is already really excited about doing one for me...

I had one about 34 weeks. Two friends and my mum organised it, I was worried about it being grabby and refused to provide a "list" of things I wanted. On the day it was just very close friends and my mum, MIL, SIL and auntie, 14 of us in all and gifts were not extravagant, babygros, teething toy, body lotion etc. We had games and a lovely buffet. It was really really lovely and much more like a get together than a grabathon which I would have been really self concious about.

I've never been to one so can't confirm what happens at them. Personally if I was invited to one I expect I would enjoy it, but I prefer to buy friends babies presents once they're actually born so I can tailor it to gender, personalise it to name etc so I wouldn't take a present. As far as I can tell they usually involve tacky games which isn't my thing.
If it's presents you're after you will get hundreds once babies born anyway. If you just want a gathering with friends before baby comes along then how about a cream tea at a nice hotel? That way you can have a nice afternoon out with your friends and there's no pressure on your friends to supply a gift but if they choose too it's an added bonus.

Hmmmm I was kind of the same with babyshowers - in tow minds- heard about stupid games being played with napies etc - bleuh. Anyway - wasn't expecting one or planning anything however.... my sister has kindly organised champagne and cupcakes with a few friends and I see it as an opportunity to see everyone and have a glass of something fizzy with them all - she knows I would be horrified if we started playing games etc. I don't think she has any set agenda other than people popping in and mingling for a couple of hours. It's quite timely before xmas too - so nice to see them all before the festive season.

I had one which was a book themed baby shower & included a message ininvite saying please just come for tea, cakes & a chat but if you did want to bring a gift we'd love to build a library for our baby & bring your favourite childrens book. Hopefully no-one thought it was grabby! It was fab occasion, no games, just lovely tea made by mum, a nursery rhyme quiz & we got lovely books as people really searched for their childhood favourite! Lots of 2nd hand books with lovely messages saying why they meant so much to the giver. Was really great occasion.

I had one at the weekend organised by my best friend (I'm 33 weeks). I was absolutely dreading it and it took a lot of persuasion for me to agree to having it because I'd been to another friend's baby shower and thought it was OTT and totally gross. She finally got me to agree to it and I had a wonderful day, it was held at my house and was attended by very close friends plus my mum and sister. I made it clear that I wasn't expecting presents and I just thought it would be nice to get the girl's together before baby arrives. Everyone did bring gifts, but they were small token gifts and a mix of things for me and the baby.

It was an afternoon tea affair so a selection of sarnies and cup cakes were served.

I'm glad I had one now and I'm glad we kept it low key.