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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Well, there's a day I don't ever want to repeat under any circumstance...

2 replies

Enfyshedd · 27/11/2011 20:52

Sorry, this isn't really a pregnancy topic thread other than the fact that I'm 14wks today and I've got a few people thinking I'm mad for having done this but...

I had a call last night to say that an elderly friend of mine (69yrs) was uncontactable, everyone was getting worried and the wardens for the sheltered accomodation wouldn't let a non family member in (no one on site over the weekend). I had a number for my friend's eldest son and called him to check that he knew about the situation (sons live away - 1 2.5hrs & 1 12hrs road/rail travel to get here).

10 minutes later I got another call to say that the police had arrived and had found his body. I thought another friend of ours who's in his 70s and had been the one who'd notified the wardens was there and I rushed over to see if I could help (I only live 100yrds away). Got someone to let me into the the building and went to the flat to be faced by one of the policemen - turned out that the 70-something friend wasn't at the flats and I was the 1st person down so I ended up giving a statement to the police and calling 70-something friend to ask him to come down.

In the middle of all of this, I was asked if I was prepared to officially ID the body. I didn't know if 70-something friend would feel up to it, so I offered to do it. In the end, 70-something friend was prepared, but all the paperwork was filled in by then, so he came in and held my hand when we checked. Unfortunately (but predictably as it was in his home), my friend had passed away sometime overnight.

There's no reason for me to write this other than for some sort of self-catharsis to help me understand why I did what I did. I've been a chicken when it comes to funerals all my life and have only seen 1 dead body before (my ex's granddad after nobody warned me it was an open coffin before walking into the sitting room). I suppose I felt a bit guilty for having not seen a lot of my friend over the past couple of months while I've been a bit self absorbed with nausea and being excited over my pregnancy - I'd been meaning to meet up with him to some him my scan pic, but I was going to do it "later in the week" (for the past 3 weeks).

I know other's here on MN have said recently about losses in their family and how they're dealing or trying to deal with it and I know this is only a friend, but... I don't know what I'm trying to say. Someone told me today that it's all part of the circle of life and that he wouldn't want us to be moping about. I'm just sorry that my child won't have the opportunity to meet such a wonderful person.

OP posts:
purplepidjin · 27/11/2011 20:55

That's a shitty thing to happen, and very kind of you to be so involved. So many wouldn't Sad

annekins · 27/11/2011 23:26

Enfyshedd, there should be more people in the world like you...I work in the adult social care sector, and so many elderly folks don't have someone like to you, who would go out of their way, even at such as sad time as the end of their life.

Don't worry about the what if's...I am sure they would have been thrilled to bits for you. And think of the stories you will now have to tell your DC of the wonderful person you knew, even though they will never meet.

Big hug for your loss x

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