Cant face telling people... arrgghh help!

[vix1980]

God i dont know whats wrong with me, im 11 weeks on sunday and still cannot face telling people, 4 times alone this week ive had an opportunity to tell my mum face to face as shes been off work for the past few weeks, she goes back to work on monday so i know we wont have this much time together for a long time.

I barely admitted it to my partner of 11 years who was thrilled, im not so excited but keeping an open mind that things may change due to hormones, i just feel a really bad dread when i think of telling people.

I also have a party to go to tomorrow night for dp's uncle, i certainly dont want his parents knowing before mine yet ive got to avoid drinking without them guessing, ive already avoided a family dinner a couple of times as theyre really big drinkers so its expected of all the guests too.

For those who haven't been bowled over by excitement of your news does it get any better when you start telling people??

Im not scared of telling dp's family for some reason but my own, i can barely string 2 words together lately cos its all im really thinking about, i know they're not going to scream and shout, im 31 not 14 for gods sake so what the hell is wrong with me??

Don't worry, I was much the same as you. I didn't want to talk about it at all with my partner to start with, let alone have to tell other people. Although I was pleased, I didn't feel the sense of excitement and urge to tell everyone that some people have. We told our close family at 12 weeks and asked them not to tell anyone (my in laws then decided to tell everyone they knew and I was absolutely furious - still haven't forgiven them).

I then told a couple of close friends but left it until I actually started showing before telling anyone else. I'm not a very 'mumsy' person and couldn't cope with everyone 'cooing' and touching my stomach!!!! There are still a few people that I don't see often that I haven't told and I'm now 34 weeks. I think I'll just have to appear with a baby!

It does get easier telling people. I felt almost embarrassed when I told people initally (not sure why?). I just wanted to carry on my life as usual for as long as possible. Some people want to talk about babies 24hours a day, but I don't! I still feel most comfortable with my closest friends who are pleased for me, but don't bang on about it all the time.

I used the old 'i'm on antibiotics excuse for not drinking'.

Let us know how you get on anyway :) (And congratulations to you :))

Just say that you are on antibiotics and so you cant drink . Being pregnant is a massive change and sometimes it takes a while to feel able to share the happy news. Are you thinking that your parents will not be as happy, as you are not married ? I am sure they will just be delighted to be grandparents. Only you can decide when you are ready to tell the world. Good luck and congratulations to you !

I think you just need to blurt it out to someone!

I was exactly the same and i managed to work it up into a massive deal, i was 13+1 at my first scan on a friday so i spent the day with my mum on the sat and couldnt tell het till about 7pm, she went a bit mad at first as i still live at home but after an hour she wanted to see the pic etc

I worked myself up soooo much telling my bopss that i burst into tears when i came out with it becuase of the release, i'd know i was pregnant since i was 4 weeks so it had been horrible keeping it in from everyone for 8 weeks!!

I todes feel more real and nicer when you tell people hun, it's not a naughty little secret anymore lol you get LOADS of hugs and a few of my best friends cried with hapiness and started sending me texts saying they love my little baby etc

I'm welling up now thinking about it - hormones!! Once you've told someone it will get easier honestly it's really nice ;) x

whoops i cant spell today but you know what i mean!!

Yep in both cases 'not bowled over' about summed it up. Paradoxically even though quietly excited and in both cases very much wanted LOs.

It takes a bit of time to sink in and there's a lot to go through before arriving at the point of bouncy a bonny baby on your knee, that's what I thought anyway. That said, now pregnant with DC2 and I'm trying to look forward to the new arrival

Just tell people when you feel ready to. There's no pressure until you really start to show (and this is later than when you feel like you must be showing!). I haven't felt massively up for telling people, partly due to anxiety and a bit of shock. But now I've had my scan it feels much more real, I feel more happy and relaxed and I'm looking forward to telling people. Everyone's different - my best friend told me and many of her family on the day she did her test and was a little hurt that I waited til 10 weeks to tell her, but it's got to feel right for you!

For the not drinking thing, I got through a large part of both my pregnancies by just accepting a drink but not drinking it. No one really pays attention (whilst 'I'm on antibiotics' always causes raised eyebrows). Congrats by the way.

I've been filled with dread of telling people both times, I find it strangely embarrassing - it's basically saying to your nearest and dearest 'Me and him had sex'

Now, I know they know that we must do it regardless, but still!

yes, once you start telling people it's easier. But agree it's v embarrassing (even more so for me 'cos its number 6!).

Thanks for the replies, I'm one of those people who unfortunately embarrasses so easily over every little thing so I've built this up into such a huge thing in my head its hard to just come out with it so easy now.

Like a few have said I've still not got my head around the fact its really happening to me and I'm becoming responsible for someone else, I wish it would sink in so I can get on with it, I'm just not htat into babies and children so I'm not surprised I'm not totally excited by the whole thing, I just always considered myself level headed so to not be able to accept something like this is hard to deal with, luckily I have a bit of a belly anyway so I don't even know if I'm showing yet or not, so at least for now I don't feel forced to explain myself!

I felt much the same way - it all felt very surreal and I wasn't ready to handle people getting excited about it, having to hear all their tips, experiences, and guessing whether it's sex. It all felt very private and I was still focused on proving myself in my new job and sorting out a new home. Also, being an older mother-to-be, I was (am still) very aware that the pregnancy may not work out, so I guess I was in preparing myself for bad news too.

I decided to wait until after my 12 week scan before telling people, including my mum, although I'd had to tell the in-laws sooner (one guessed, the other was feeding me illegal cheese and wine!). I wimped out of telling my Dad directly as he'd made some really tactless comments when my sister announced her pregnancy, so told my Mum on the phone, so she could tell him off for any stupid comments and I didn't have to hear them. I told my boss after the scan, but no one else at work until 18wks, and only then a couple of people, but I did include someone who I knew would spread the news 'organically' so that I didn't have to! Sounds a bit wimpy, but it worked for me.

Have you had your scan? It all felt a lot more tangible after that. My advice is just take it in your own time.

I feel a bit like that too. At 10 weeks, I've only told DP, my best friend (and only herbecause she's pregnant too) and my Mum. I had to tell my boss yesterday...wasn't planning to for another few weeks until after 1st scan but there are upcoming staffing issues and I felt it only fair that they should know that I will be needing maternity leave so that they can factor it into their planning. I've asked him not to tell anyone other than the managers who will need to know but it's almost Christmas party time and as I am usually known as one of the die-hard 'last man standing' types at any party, then it's going to be fairly obvious to colleagues why I'm not drinking. I'm dreading people asking me about it, wanting to talk about baby stuff etc. I'm happy to be pregnant but just don't feel the need to share every detail with people and if anyone lays a hand on my stomach, I will not be responsible for my actions