Mummies to be, what do we actually NEED to buy for our imminent arrivals?

[Torila]

So I took a stroll into my local department store the other day to check out the baby stuff (am 20 weeks with first DC) and was totally overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you apparently need to buy for the baby, the nursery, travelling, eating, and all manner of other situations. I ran out of the shop, hands tearing at my hair, all a panic and screaming banshee - well I didn't actually - but I certainly felt that way inclined!

So my question is, out of all this stuff what the hell do we actually NEED to buy? Or, do we actually need all of this stuff they sell?

They keep telling us we need to buy all this crap but people have been having babies for hundreds and hundreds of years before all of this was even invented. You will need a car seat to be able to take your baby home from hospital, and then a cot or moses basket, and a few bits of clothes. IMO everything else is a nice to have rather than an essential.

Someting to transport your baby in: car seat, sling or pushchair.

Somewhere for your baby to sleep: your bed or a cot.

Something to catch the wee and poo: paper or cloth nappies. A cheap padded wipe down change mat is nice but you can just use a towel. Wipes can be either throw away ones or a pack of cheap flannels that you washa nd reuse.

Something for the baby to wear: about 10 vests and babygrows plus a couple of cardis and coats or a snowsuit.

Something to feed your baby with: your own breasts or bottles, formula, sterilising tablets/solution and a bottle brush.

For yourself: breast pads even if not going to breastfeed as your milk comes in anyway and you will leak! Maternity pads (more than you think you will need) and some good bras.

Anything else can wait. If your baby is happy to be put down and watch the world go by then a play mat or a bouncy chair might be a good addition. If your baby is of the limpet variety then those would be a waste of money and you will probably want to invest in a good cloth sling.

Very, very little.

Some vests, some babygros, cardigans and a couple of hats. A coat if it's winter.

Blankets and somewhere for baby to sleep.

A car seat if you have a car.

A buggy of some sort or a sling.

Nappies and wipes/cloths or cotton wool.

Milk - either your own if you choose to BF or formula and bottles if you choose to FF.

Everything else is either just 'nice' to have, or unnecessary clutter designed to make anxious parents spend money they don't need to on things that they are told are essential, and that their baby will hate them or suffer in some way if they don't have it.

Wow, some sanity, how nice!

Mumsnet should publish an essentials guide for confused new mums and mums to be! Don't get me wrong they are out there on the web, but I got a bit wary when told a cot mobile is an essential!

I've been told I need a moses basket as well as a cot bed, as well as a travel cot. Someone told me last week I really would struggle if I didn't have a city pushchair and an off road one (we walk a lot), and a baby bjorn thingy.

It all seems rather like Christmas, easter, mothers day and valentines to me, an event in life jumped on by greedy retailers and card manufacturers as a way of exploiting confused but excited people!

A basket can be useful but you don't need one. Babies do look tiny in cots but they don't care! It is us who think they should be in something smaller. Mine have gone from my bed to a cot to a normal single bed.

Pushchairs, if you walk a lot choose carefully but most ones that are good off road are perfectly fine in town too. When the baby is older (9 months to a year perhaps) then you can always get a little stroller for town. Don't get a bjorn sling, have a look at proper slings they will save your back and are the best things for lots of walking!

An interesting article I read the other day

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/nov/14/buying-minimum-child-kit?INTCMP=SRCH

we on the other hand bought loads of unecessary kit & accepted everything offered saving them a trip to the dump from friends, worst culprit being the 'travel system', now just use pushchair and think the maclaren would have done from birth.

Pregnant with DC2 and will try and be much less wasteful, having said that though I have already ordered a bednest, telling myself that they have a high resale value and as BF much easier in the night.

oh and the 'robocop' chair my Mum got in txmaxx, it was bigger than our sofa and we only managed to get DD into it once or twice even though it rocked, played tunes, made the tea. Her simple dotty frame chair from Mothercare was far more useful and she happily sat in that for ages.

What Indith said. They sleep, feed, get cold and throw up. As long as you can cover all these eventualities, the fripperies can wait :)

Which is a shame because I have all of DD1's crap ready and waiting for DD2 and I can't bear to get rid, even though I know I won't use most of it.

Find your nearest NCT Nearly New Sale, get all your clothes and bedding from there, and as much of your hardware as possible. Cots are particularly good to get second hand, but you'll want a new mattress.

Research your pushchair heavily but only buy one at this stage, you can get a lightweight buggy later.

Ditto sling, research, do not just get a baby bjorn.

Unless you have a small flat you will need somewhere safe and warm to put the newborn in in every room - this may or may not be a Moses basket.

OTOH you will need paracetomol, 2,000 cotton wool balls, Lansonil of bf and some olive oil.

Re cots, moses baskets etc!
if you want baby to sleep in your room initially then you either need a cot to fit in your room or another solution. This could be a moses basket, or a crib, or co-sleeping (or maybe a travel cot). We got a crib and a cot bed as we wanted DD in with us to begin with but a cot wouldn't fit, and I didn't want to co-sleep.

I got a baby bjorn and a sling is invaluable in my opinion. However I wouldn't recommend baby bjorn necessarily (I've since sold mine and bought something that is more ergonomical for babies and toddlers), i'd look at all types of slings. I didn't buy a sling til baby was born and I knew what my requirements were.

We got one pushchair that we have used in town and on walks. Really, a sling is far better than an 'off-road' pushchair. An off-road pushchair is just a bit easier to push but you will be able to do far more with a sling and your baby would probably be more comfortable.

I loved my baby Bjorn and will get another one for this baby. You do not need everything they tell you and you do not need to buy everything right away. Eg. You won't need a high chair for a while, so keep watching until one you like goes on sale.

I bought and was given a ton of stuff for my dd, now six years later, pregnant again and living in a foreign country, I will have much much less. I carried my dd for six months - and then started using a stroller. we were given a crib, but my dd went in it only once or twice so I could take her picture. We co-slept until she was two and she went into a bed.

I would say you need a car seat, sling / carrier, diapers and wipes, clothes, somewhere for the baby to sleep, and I loved my playmat, so will get another one.

It s really easy for baby stuff to take over your house too, which drove me nuts!

Brilliant and uttery invaluable advice - thanks all!

We have been given a baby bjorn, cot, changing table and bush baby second hand by a friend whose twins have just started school, so with exception of a pushchair, car seat, monitor, bouncy chair thing and all the disposables we are nearly there!

Yay I feel so much better now!

Now if only I could convince DH that we do want to find out the sex at the 20 week scan i'd be all there!

Even if I'd been given a baby bjorn I would still look into a 2nd hand stretchy wrap as well - much comfier for both you and the baby.

Usually lots of bouncy chairs at NCT nearly new sales.

A useful rule of thumb - never pay more than 10p per nappy for disposables - you can always get them cheaper with various offers on.

Medicine cabinet: Buy some calpol and a medicine syringe (ask the pharmacist for one) to have in. You can't give it to babies under 2 month olds without Drs say so, but if your LO gets a fever before that age and you end up talking to an out of hours GP/NHS direct, it's much better to have it in than do a mad drive to an out of hours pharmacy! If you're breast feeding, some Lansinoh for you. And some nappy cream - some people use it at every change and if so something like sudacreme is good. If you want to try without and just use if nappy rash occurs then metanium or morhulin are good for healing. You don't really need baby shampoos or soaps until they're a bit older IMHO, but some people like them. Similarly, I found cotton wool and water much easier than wipes, if you go down this route BTW, you need LOTS of cotton wool, big balls much better - I took a little freezer bag with about 10 little pieces to the hospital with me, didn't even get through the first change, but gave the midwives a good giggle. You will need something to cut LO's nails and they grow quickly, so you'll have to do this quite early, which is utterly terrifying. I bought baby nail scissors (blunt) and baby nail clippers (really awkward to use). In the end, my mum gave me a pair of very sharp but very precise cuticle scissors which I have found to be brilliant. On that note, I seem to remember that, to my surprise, DS was born with long sharp nails and so we found it useful to have scratch mittens at the hospital with us. Think we used these until we plucked up the courage to cut his nails!

Re: the nails, I found it much easier to bite or peel off those sharp talons until DS hit about 3 months. His fingers were so small, I'd have caught his skin in scissors or clippers. My mouth was much more sensitive.

And as for walking, you won't want a buggy. Seriously. Much better with a sling and a good pair of boots for you. I've got a dog and wrestling with her, a buggy and uneven terrain would be impossible.

Ditto getting as much as poss secondhand. Eco friendly and a fraction of the price. So you can afford loads more... :)

You may be able to get some stuff from Freecycle. We responded to an offer of a cotbed when expecting DD1, and got the cotbed, two binbags of clothes and some lovely toys. I've also had a high chair and a changing table / bath from Freecycle. People can be very kind.

Two groups of friends I know also have boxes of clothes and bedding that circulate round the group to whoever has a new baby on the way.

I got lots of our DDs stuff from eBay and saved absolutely loads of money.

Personally I think Waterwipes are much better than cotton wool and water for nappy changes, even though they are not cheap.