What's your baby bible going to be?

[lchats]

I want to buy a book that's going to get me through the first year, what would you recommend?

Your Baby Week by Week.

I've not bothered keeping any of the other books from the first time round.

The day-by-day pregnancy book is AHMAZING!! You can look at it everyday and track your progress I couldn't recommend it enough!

Also (I swear I'm not working for this website) but the mumsnet ones great too, gives you a few chuckles and its guidance from real people.

Truthfully, I bought loads and didn't get any time to sit and read when ds was tiny; by the time I could just curl up and read I was past the stage of not knowing what I was doing. I used a lot of sites like this if I wanted a specific piece of advice, but can honestly say the books are currently gathering the same dust as they were immediately following the birth!

Didn't buy one with either my first or second child so I'm not starting now!

Seriously - you've found Mumsnet for when you have a problem. Any book that tries to tell you what your baby will be doing or should be doing will just do your head in!

my mum my gran and my instincts.

My friend with now 5 kids (had 3 when I had ds). Has both experience and more common sense than anyone I know. Ditto my aunt with 7 kids though experience is less recent.

Actually, anyone with 3 or more reasonably well-adjusted kids - they would all say 'well all children are different but you could try X or Y'. I wanted to kill the HV who answered any question with "Two of my children did that, but it didn't work for the other two' but in retrospect it was a good answer. I threw all the books away by 4 weeks, some harder than others...

Though anything on child psychology I've found very helpful over the last 3 years, especially with 2-3yos.

Second Flisspaps, Your Baby Week by Week. Friend lent it to me saying it was brilliant and I rated it so much a bought a copy for another friend when she gave birth. Doesn't tell you what to do as such but is more there for reassurance about what to expect and look out for (e.g. you don't know if a green poo is normal, how much milk they should be taking on at what stage etc etc.) DH found it really useful as well as he was more cluesless than me!

"If the books were right there'd only be one of them!"

In other words, the only reason there are so many books to choose from is because babies (and their parents!) are all different and what works for one may not work for the next.

If you can find a book of things to be aware of, that's great. But if you want a "if you follow this routine your baby will be content, happy and sleep 12 hours a night" type thing then I'm afraid its trial, error and a lot of patience to find out what works for you and your baby. And the sleep thing may just not happen...

Contented Little Baby by Gina Ford. God send.

Penelope Leach's "Your Baby and Child" - covers the first 5 years. I had GF, Baby whisperear and thousands of others that all stressed me out, confused me, taught me to distrust my instincts and worry my baby was doing the wrong thing - Penelope Leach is the only one I've kept because she points out the massive scales of normality for feeding, sleeping, gives various tips but never pressurises or makes you feel worthless....my mum used it in the 80's and I have bought it for friends since having DS 3 years ago

book??

Loving the book lovers Vs haters dynammic to this thread...

I think it was more to get my head around having a baby, at 31 weeks it's not hit home :) Would like to read something that brings it home!

If it helps i've read Gina Ford, Baby whisperer, sensational baby sleep plan and Jo Frosts baby book i found bits in each of them useful but i think i'm gonna go with my own instincts and mums help and advice.

I got all the baby books from the library so i wasn't wasting money on a book i didn't like as i wasted so much on pregnancy books i never used, it would prob be a good idea to do the same then if you find one you like you can buy it.

The Rough Guide to Babies and Toddlers is a very reassuring and amusing read.
It assumes real mums are not perfect, tells you there's no fixed way of having to do anything and generally offers very sensible advice.

DD1 is 12 weeks old.

Didn't like The Baby Whisperer, when DD arrived it made me feel like I was a faulty mum.

Did like the No Cry Sleep Solution (read it in advance so as to be prepared) and still think it is good

Since DD was born, I read the Mumsnet guide to Babies which I loved, it made me realise I wasn't a faulty mum. I also read The Wonder Weeks and I really liked it as well, I wouldn't say it's a baby bible to cover everything but already I've found it very useful.

teladi why didn't you like the baby whisperer? I thought it was quite good but i've no baby yet to test it out with lol

I used Baby Whisperer religiously with my first DD and it was BRILLIANT. It was the best baby related thing I bought. It has really useful advice about routines, feeding and creating good sleep patterns. DD (who is now 14 months) was a very happy baby and I'm sure it was because we were able to make a plan for her feeds, sleeps and development from the day we brought her home from hospital. The book is really good about the first 4 weeks - it basically says don't bother with routines, go with the flow. But then after 4 weeks it sets out good routines for your day. I particularly liked the suggestion that everything should follow the same pattern, on a repeated cycle, of Eat Activities Sleep and time for You (E.A.S.Y.).

I lent my copy of Baby Whisperer to friends who have had babies since and they have consistently reported great results: ie, good sleepers, more settled babies, better transitions to solid food etc.
I also read Jo Frost's book and Gina Ford. Both useful but not as comprehensive as the Baby Whisperer.

I like Your Baby and Child. Yuk to Baby Whisperer. Get them out of the library.

I read a few and highly recommend Baby Love, by Robin Barker. It didn't dictate routines, but offered options and suggestions, and was also very down to earth.

Doesn't matter which one you get - the baby won't have read it.

I swear by the Baby Whisperer too. I found it flexible and easy to follow, the Eat Activity Sleep thing made sense to both baby and me and we followed it from the beginning. I also wrote everything down, the poo diary as DH called it, but I found it helpful to know which side I'd fed from, how she slept etc etc and also with no short-term memory was one less thing to have to remember or stress over.

DD adapted really well and was sleeping through very quickly. I was also recommended Penelope Leach who I liked although I found more practical advice with TBW. Gina Ford's book scared me with the complexity and strictness but I know some people that swear by it.

I'd say try a few and see what appeals to you.

For going forward 'What to expect in the first year' was really helpful, I'd had the WTEI pregnancy and since 'in the toddler years' and think they're great reference books.

"I think it was more to get my head around having a baby, at 31 weeks it's not hit home "

I think it hits home when he or she is put onto your chest - book or no book. Prior to that it felt pretty unreal to me!

seconded pootlebug, maybe even days later....

Has anyone recommended "What Mothers Do - Especially When It Looks Like Nothing" by Naomi Stadlen? I have an embarrassingly vast range of baby/childcare books (I kept buying them in pursuit of the elusive magic tome....d'oh) and it's far and away the most comforting, I'm-doing-OK-no-matter-what-is-happening read.

Other than that, something that covers common or garden illnesses and injuries is useful, especially at 3am when the Internet goes down.