Please tell me about your baby's bedtime routine

[G1nger]

My baby's 10 weeks. We've been trying to get him into a bedtime routine since he was 4 weeks old. Sometimes, we're very successful and he goes down really well. Other times, we get it completely wrong and we are in and out of the bedroom for an hour or two afterwards.

To give you an idea, we don't have a structured day beforehand. I get up with the baby when he stops sleeping (any time between 7.30am and 9.30am) and we start from there. He is quite predictable, though, in that he'll always take a feed at around 4.30 / 5pm - before a bedtime that we start to initiate at 6.30-6.45. We start by bathing him, dressing him in his clothing and grobag, and then I play lullabies while feeding him. Sometimes, he'll get really sleepy; other times he'll stay wide awake and this is where the 'trouble' starts for the rest of the night. I have toyed a bit with trying to work out how long he stays awake before getting tired enough to sleep, but haven't yet kept a diary.

Does anyone have any tips, please?

I'm not quite sure, the days when he goes to sleep easily have u been anywhere? Going out can tire the baby out. Does he seem hungry when he wnt sleep? I no u said hed just been fed, but my little boy slept thru from 6 weeks then wouldn't because he was hungry, I had to stop breatfeeding at 6 weeks because I wasn't producing enuf and he had to go on hungry baby formula, after that he's always slept like an angel. Could he maybe have a bit of wind left that stops him from sleeping? Try maybe infacol or gripe water?

I think in order to establish a strong bedtime routine, a day time routine is needed, at least a soft one. As you say, your LO can wake between 7.30am and 9.30am, so with an extra two hours sleep in the morning, naturally, they will be less sleepy come bedtime.

It may not be the 'nicest' option on you, but waking the baby / encouraging them to wake at around the same time each day will make it easier to establish an end time to the day too. If LO always wakes at 7.30, the rest of the day will, naturally, fall into a more specific routine.

Some people are anti-routines, but as you wish to establish a night one, a day one would be a good idea too.

DS seems to have found his own routine whereas dd never did at such a young age. I suspect it's because I have a 4yo and we have to get up and do the same things every morning and then the same things in an evening to get her to bed so he's adapted to that I suppose. He's 11wo and he either has a bath with me and dd at 7pm or he sits in the bathroom (dh holding him) with us while we do. Then I bf him while I read dd's bedtime story and he nods off. He'll sleep till around 10pm usually, sometimes latching on while half asleep. Then I feed him again for as long as he wants before all going to bed (we cosleep). He does feed in the night but we do that lying down and he doesn't really stir much for any other reason until 7.30am when he is wide awake and wanting to get up. Which we do as we have to get dd up.

My 6 month DD routine is tea about 6.30' then bath about 7.30' last bottle around 9 then going down then til about 7am!!!

Oh and she just goes to sleep on her own no story or music needed!
X

I think obviously all babies are very different, but a routine will deff be needed. By DS he's now 2 n half, n ever since 6 weeks he went to bed at 7 and got up at 7. He likes his sleep, he's slept thru since, but I do find that having a bath half hour before bed does help him

My sister had this problem it was due to DN not having a set time she got up in the morning once she started getting her up at the same time every day she would go to sleep the same time. She was advised that a sleep routine can not just be for bedtime it must also be for the length of sleep babies usually sleep from 7-7 or 8-8 and so on so if you let baby sleep til 9.30 expect him not to be ready for bed until 9.30 at night, she found that advice to be true.

Again agree you need to wake him up at the same time every day. You might find that naps etc become the same every day. You might need to start bedtime a little earlier if you go for a 7.30am wale up though.

He's 10 weeks. Honestly, don't be too hard on yourself with regards to a routine. Most people agree that 4 months is a good age to introduce a routine, so you're a long way from that.

Having said that, I found that I could establish a night routine with DS really early - about 2 weeks - without being in a daytime routine (we still don't have one and he's 18 weeks). We do bathtime with Daddy at 6.15, jammies on in the nursery, radio on and into his sleeping bag, onto my lap in the rocking chair, bottle, read Goodnight Moon, then into our room and into his Moses basket. I kiss him goodnight and lay on the bed next to him until I can see he's calm and then I leave the room. He will either be asleep by the time I go or will drop off by himself. He sleeps with the nightlight on the monitor and the radio on low.

The key things I've found is keep it quiet and dark when you're settling him - feeding, reading and putting down - and only leave when he's calm. No point expecting him to settle if he's screaming and stressed. At first, we were up and down for an hour afterwards, and very occasionally he'll cry at about 7.30 but that's pretty rare now. He's usually asleep by 7. Whatever you decide to do, stick with it and he'll soon settle into the routine. Good luck!

Oh, I try not to let him nap past 5/5.30pm so he'll be ready to sleep in the evening. Hope that helps!

I agree absolutely with the others who say to keep to a similar daytime routine. Gently wake him up at the same time each morning - 7am - by opening the curtains and stroking his hair. Everything will fall into a more consistent pattern from there.

by the way 7am wake-up was just a suggestion, if 7.30 is easier for you then so be it.

Also, are you aware of the concept of cluster-feeding? BF babies in particular will need lots of feeds in the evening as your milk supply is naturally a bit lower then. A feed at about 5pm and another at about 6.30pm, before 7pm bed is a good way to start.
(we did a formula at 7pm from about 4 weeks old, which took the pressure off me for the evening. But BF may be your preference, over to you).

Thanks, ladies. I feared the wake up time might be seen as an issue for most. I also think that self-soothing- as he improves at it- will help things. He's getting easier now so I will think about getting up at a certain time... Thanks :)

Kiwiinkits your milk supply isn't lower in the evening :) But cluster feeding is normal, and brilliant for getting your milk supply solid and stable, you are right, it's a good thing.

OP, you might consider that if your baby isn't settling, he's not ready for bed at that time, on that day :) I know I go to bed at different times on different days and my little one goes between 7.30 and 8.30 depending on when he starts to show tiredness signs (although at your baby's age he'd just fall asleep on the bouncy chair downstairs with us which we were happy with). My older (school age) child does have a fixed bed time but he's not a baby...

Just a thought - but of course working towards a specific time is fine, too, if that's right for your family.

I started a very similar thread on the sleep boards a few days ago. I've decided to bin the bedtime routine for now and try again in the new year when DD is 4 months ish. She cluster feeds all evening and I am much more relaxed now that I'm not stressing about trying to get her to sleep when she's not ready to