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Original poster

movements stopped.. normal

39 replies

yummicheddars · 22/11/2011 15:07

So I'm 18 weeks with my second, I've felt movement for a while now, but I'm not sure if I've felt anything for 3 days. I kept waking up last nyt with a bit of pain, av gt a constant ache and feel sick. Rly not sure what I shud do? There's been a couple of time I've thought was tht the baby but I'm not 100% sure. It was a wriggle bum last week and kept me awake from movement

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yummicheddars · 23/11/2011 12:59

Let's just say we are far from talking terms, I am furious with him. Stuff he said to me last night, as with my first I was always up at hospital worrying, and a very healthy little boy was born. But this one there's been so many complications and I've had no support off him. Nothing, I shouldve gone last nyt I know, we only have one car n he had to go to work, and our 2 year old was in bed poorly. But I am not gonna let him stand in the way again when I'm concerned. I had bleeding for weeks in early pregnancy, and cramping and he still showed no concern and I had to go hospital on my own. Thankyou all and I agree, I was silly not to go, and yes he does treat me like I'm 5, uv made me see that I haven't got to ask his permission for everything

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nickelbabe · 23/11/2011 13:25

Wonder if he might be more amenable if you got the midwife to tell him?
I know that sounds patronising, but if it comes from a midwife who's "seen it all before", it might make him think about it a bit more seriously.

Original poster
yummicheddars · 23/11/2011 13:40

Good idea, I txt him last nyt to say babies kicked me and he just tb saying "told you so". He's driving me mad with it, thru all the complications I had early on all doctors and midwifes told me I rly need to just sit down and relax. Nothing changed. He wnt cook dinner or clean up, was moaning yesterday coz he had no dinner and had to make it himself, as I really didn't feel up to it. so I just ended up with a sandwich because he wudnt make me anything.

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kenobi · 23/11/2011 14:19

Glad all's well that ends well (ish)

Re: your DH - if he's driving you mad, it might be worth posting in relationships and getting some advice from the clever ladies there. They won't all shout "leave the bastard!" I promise Grin, and are really helpful with advice and suggestions.

Flisspaps · 23/11/2011 14:24

yummicheddars It's not even that you don't need to ask his permission for EVERYTHING but that you don't have to ask his permission for ANYTHING :)

Nothing at all. Glad all is well with baby, shame the same can't be said about DP!

cupofteaplease · 23/11/2011 14:31

My baby stopped moving after about 24 weeks of pregnancy. I could still feel hiccups and the heartbeat was picked up on a trace, so I accepted it when everyone said it was ok. When she was born, she was incredibly poorly and I was right to have been concerned about her lack of movements- she has a condition whereby her brain didn't form correctly and as a result she is severely disabled- both mentally and physically.

Please don't let your dp tell you that you are over reacting. You know your body and know if something isn't right, just like I did.

I'm not telling you this because I want to scare you or make you think there is something wrong with your baby- I'm sure there isn't. But trust your instincts in future and don't allow your dp to fob you off or say, 'I told you so'. Not helpful. Good luck, and I'm glad everything is ok with your baby Smile

Rhinestone · 23/11/2011 18:58

yummicheddars your partner sounds like a really unpleasant 'man'. Do you have any other support?

Original poster
yummicheddars · 23/11/2011 21:26

Not really, my mum thinks I'm a hyperchondriact, my sister well one of them, is blanking me completely coz I'm getting married next year when she wanted to. She just funny and being petty. And my other sister wnt talk to me about baby coz she's 13 weeks and was having twins but one died at 6 weeks. So I'm not allowed to talk about my problems around her, last week. I was shopping with her, and I went really dizzy and hot, I had to sit down, if I didn't I'd of collapsed, anyway she thought it was selfish and started crying her eyes out because what she's been thru is worse then me being a bit ill. So when around her I've got to be as bright as day, according to my mum anyway.

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Tangle · 23/11/2011 22:55

Have you got any friends to lean on? I hate it when people start playing stress/grief/drama top trumps. What your sister's been through is terrible, but that doesn't mean you don't have problems and could do with a bit of support as well :(.

Just to pick up on something earlier in the thread, please don't get a heartbeat monitor and use it for reassurance (and this is aimed as much at anyone else who might be reading looking for advice as you). Failing to pick up a heartbeat with a hand-held device would not be uncommon at 18 weeks, and does not mean there's a problem (although it will undoubtably be worrying). Picking up a heartbeat doesn't mean that everything is OK. If you are concerned then you need to see a MW and get checked by someone with skills and experience. (Sorry - rant over Blush)

As an aside, I really hope your partner has some good points. I'm sure you're marrying him for lots of good reasons, but he's really not coming over well from what you've written on this thread!

Fingers crossed things calm down and the rest of your pregnancy is a bit more relaxing :)

Flisspaps · 23/11/2011 22:59

I second the advice about not getting a doppler. Even a midwife won't necessarily be able to pick up a heartbeat at 18 weeks using one (they don't bother trying until 20 weeks here because not finding one causes more stress than it is worth to the mother!)

If you have no-one in RL to talk to or get support from, then at least you're in the right place here - on MN you can moan, chat, fret and ask questions to your hearts content :)

annekins · 24/11/2011 11:33

OP - for what it's worth, if you need to see a MW and you really can't get to one, they should be able to send someone out to you. I've had an occasion during the hot weather at the end of Sept where I was ill and needed to have baby checked, and there was no way I was going to be able to get to the hospital on my own, so the MW came to me.

Please please don't let your partner dictate to you what is and isn't ok, a lot of problems in pregnancy are only discovered by mum's intuition that something isn't right..you should always listen and act on those feelings and ignore your partner!!!

Original poster
yummicheddars · 24/11/2011 19:22

Thankyou, I wnt get a doppler, I have been wanting to but heard very bad remarks about them! And yep I love mumsnet can say anything hopefully without being judged. And u get gd info and support! Well since I got pregnant, and had complication, bled from 6-10 weeks with pain I have convinced myself tht something isn't right. And its like I'm waiting for it to go wrong. Sounds awful bt I definatly do have the gut instinct that something is not right!

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pigletmania · 24/11/2011 22:30

I would not be marrying your partner tbh, he does not sound very nice at all! You have to sort your relationship out first, or leave him, Making himself something and not his pg partner Shock. I would have made him go out and get me a take a way.

phlossie · 25/11/2011 17:37

I got a baby listening thing on ebay so that my dcs could 'listen in', but even now at 29 weeks I can't get the baby's heartbeat - it's a load of rubbish!

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