New baby & Wedding

[GingerLemonTea]

So we told everyone that we were expecting our first baby. It was great telling both sets of parents, all very happy. We told DH bro & fiancee. Said we have some news, I'm pregnant, you're going to be an auntie & uncle!
"awww, congratulations! No children at our wedding" Literally in the next breath. She repeated it later in the night so I know it wasn't a joke. DH bro didn't say much, he was on his phone texting within a minute of us telling him. She says if she invites one, she will have to invite 16. Baby will be about 12weeks, am planning to bf & they are expecting us to stay overnight in wedding hotel at a cost of £180. She told me just to express. Am not v happy, but not going to stress just now. Have no intention of being away from baby for over 24 hrs at that age. Thoughts?

Congratulations! Perhaps you could play it by ear for now, maybe by the time the baby is born you might be ready for a break. On the other hand, if you aren't comfortable leaving baby overnight, then don't do it. It's a precious time for all of you and it would be a shame for disagreements to spoil things. Good luck

Their wedding. If its a child free wedding you don't have to go.

Wrong to tell you in the same sentence as the congratulations though!

Congratulations!

I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving my baby for 24 hours at only 12 weeks.

You have a few options, they might chnage thier minds, you can not attned (my preffered option!) or you bring a babysitter who can stay with baby near by.

I think they should make an exception. 12 weeks is far too young to leave your baby for any amount of significant time IMO, ESP if bf. You could probably carry your baby in a sling and people probably wouldn't even notice! Otherwise I personally wouldn't go. My DH didn't want children at our wedding I said there was no chance I couldn't invite my cousins etc (plus I wanted them there) so we compromised on having only family children. That said, we were so busy with our day that we hardly saw the little cherubs my dh now says it would have been fine if all had come! We had a guest who didn't come because she couldn't bring her children. At the time I felt a bit put out but since becoming a mum myself I totally see where she was coming from.

Good God, what a horrible, insensitive woman. 'Just express' indeed, some women find they can't express huge amounts easily, if at all and you won't know until you try, obviously.

I would ask them to make an exception, you are close family after all!

Thats horrible....congratulations! She seems self centered, a baby is a human, a wedding is an event.

As congratulations. You have every right to be a bit miffed but at the same time it's their day. And if they say no kids you might not be able to go. And you houldnt have to stress yourself out about forcing yourself to express etc before you're ready. Me and DH are having this worry at the mo. My cousin is getting married in April and her sisters wedding was a child free day. Invites haven't gone out yet but were preparing ourselves for the backlash of having to say we can't go if kids aren't invited. Due late feb so will potentially have a 6 week old that ain't being left for any wedding! You never know as time goes on they might change their minds or have a 'children in arms' only thing. But celebrate YOUR lovely news and worry about it later

Congrats - friend had this issue with a dear friend - she binned the wedding. I didn't blame her.

I'm all for no kids weddings but newborns are a total exception in my view. Off to a no kids wedding in December but there will be about 4 newborns there including mine. They don't cost for food and no idiot would let their baby scream thru a ceremony.

I think you need to see if dh's mum could perhaps gently prevail on BIL about how you can't leave a newborn. They're obviously not parents and are totally clueless