Weight gain in pregnancy after eating disorder.

[hippieshake]

Hello.

I'm 12+3 with my first, and I started off with a BMI of 18, weighing 52.6kg at 5'7. I have put on 2kg so far and in the past week I've started to feel quite bad about it.

I had an eating disorder two years ago, which I have just recovered from, and I've always been skinny. I'm just worried that I'm going to get huge. I keep trying to stop having bad thoughts, as we were TTC for a year before our BFP.

How much weight did everyone put on in their first trimesters? xx

I don't think comparing your weight gain to other people is going to be particuarly helpful. The best thing you can do for yourself is be completely truthful with your midwife so she can point you in the right direction for support. I completely understand how difficult it is, I am 23 weeks and was only just in a comfortable recovery state of mind when I got pregnant. Putting on weight is very tough emotionally for me. I still weigh myself every day as old habits die hard. But it's really not helpful, and I wish I could just stop. If needs be, have a look for a sensible eating plan, either from your midwife or support team. I find it very difficult to judge a decent amount of daily food. If I have a plan to stick to, the guilt is less and the whole process is much easier.

I have a post running about "Dh says I should eat more" it may be of interest to you. I have a diagnosis of a chronic eating disorder which required hospitalisation. I do not know how much I have gained in the first trimester (13weeks today) but started out at a BMI of 19. Everyones weight gain is different in quantity and pattern. When you start out underweight then you need to gain more weight than the average person throughout your pregnancy for the health of your baby and yourself. In my opinion my baby is more important to me than achieving the ideal body, fitness level or whatever else and all my eating disordered thoughts are overridden by me telling myself my baby needs it and if I am hungry then it needs some more. I was very nauseous for some time and was nibbling more than eating proper meals. I was shocked by how few calories I was consuming when I counted it up at the end of a day and started taking build up drinks. Now I am eating proper meals and snacks and won't be surprised if I have gained weight when I am weighed tomorrow by my MW. I see this as positive though. A marker of the health of my baby and that I am making progress towards a healthy way of eating which will influence my child in a positive and healthy way. I see now as an opportunity to free myself of as many warped thoughts about food as possible by eating what I want when I want. I could never forgive myself if my child picked up nasty habits from me towards eating and therefore believe now is the best time to make a difference. For all these reasons I don't think it is helpful to compare your weight gain to anyone else. Rather focus on the positives and the fact that you should be gaining weight. You are carrying a baby and all the mechanics that come with it. You are blessed to have been able to conceive at a BMI of 18, make the most of such an opportunity.