Childless friends

[KatherineCam]

I have two very close friends that are not married and have no kids and in their late 30s. They are both amassing girls but unfortunately they didn't find their Mr Right so far. They have no children and it gives them a lot of heartache especially because of their age. They both don't know that I am pregnant yet and I wounder if I can do something to make breaking my news to them a little bit more bearable...

i think they would be happy for you anyway and would like having a little baby around to spoil, if there good friends they would never grudge you happiness.

I just noticed that there is another topic about friends with fertility problems. I also have another couple that have a problem conceiving their second child and so far I am trying not to meet them because they know we were trying as well and they will def ask us how did it go. However my unmarried friends don't even have partners and I don't want to make them feel bad about themselves. I talked to both of them about possibility of using sperm donors or adoption but for some reason both don't even want to consider this rout.

Just tell them.

I was single for years - met my DH at 39 and had by DTs at 42

No way would I have wanted friends to hesitate about tell me such important news. In fact I would have been insulted and upset if they had held back because they "felt sorry for me". Or thought that they had to make special concessions in the way they broke the news to me.

Your life is your life. Their life is their life. Its not a zero sum game.

ButHeNeverDid - thank you! I am very glad you said it. I know other mums that got married in 40 and pregnant at 41. And I find their stories very inspiring. They come to marriage and having kids with a different set of values, life experience and a certain degree of financial independence. After what you've said I will tell my friends about my pregnancy without hesitation:)

Would you like them to be godmothers?

I'd like them to have some connection to my child but I am not religious. Is there any way of secular godmother?

I think you can be a 'supporter' - Humanist Society might be the ones to talk to.

Yes you can, registry offices provide naming days, they will even come to your house to do it if that's what you want!

Ours was lovely, would recommend!

OMG...hmm I am not sure I want any society to be involved...How one becomes godmother? Does my child has to be baptised?