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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant with#3 worried I've made the wrong decision

9 replies

Sarahmarie2505 · 16/11/2011 17:57

We were planning for number 3 as we have two girls so a boy would be nice but either way we wudbt care. Now I'm totally freaked feel I've made the wring choice my youngest his started school so I will have to carry on working evenings for rubbish money and not seeing the kids! Plus
My work is like agency there isn't always enough to
Go round so they will prob cut
In half wen I tell them to get rid of me I'm petrified to tell them! I'm also big and I'm scared I'm going to get massive! I jus want to cry I'm so down chant even bring myself to make doctors appt yet : (((

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GodKeepsGiving · 16/11/2011 19:23

Take a deep breath. Only you can decide whether it's right to go ahead, but it is possible and often normal to feel ambiguous about a pregnancy. Discuss your fears with your DP and see if he can offer any constructive advice. You don't mention how far along you are, but it's worth seeing your doctor. I felt a bit unsettled this time (baby #7), but the doctor and midwife were helpful, friendly and positive.
There is time to talk to work about how you feel and your concerns. I know it's worrying, but because your baby is planned could it be that suddenly you feel overwhelmed? Massively normal too IME. Try not to worry too much about your weight. I have an underactive thyroid and am still overweight from my last pregnancy. I have decided to really enjoy my food this time, but make it as healthy as possible. If time is short, you could make batches up and freeze them. My favourite guilty pleasure at the moment is Asda's root mash with parsnips and butternut squash. It's wonderful.
Nobody can make this decision for you, but worries are a relatively common aspect of all pregnancies, if only because of the changes involved. I do hope you're feeling better soon Smile

Jellymane · 16/11/2011 20:08

Hi, I'm in a similar position myself. I just found out on Monday that I'm pregnant with my third. We had discussed having another, and I was certain it was what I wanted, however, now its happened, I only seem to see the negatives. I think its fairly normal to have these worries - I'm concerned about space (not enough for the 4 of us, let alone 5), giving up work and not having enough money coming in. I'm hoping these fears will subside and I can start to get excited about the pregnancy soon.
Sorry this post was all about me, but just wanted to let you know you weren't alone in the way you're feeling. You also saved me from starting a thread of my own! Hopefully we can help each other through this time.

grumplestilskin · 16/11/2011 20:11

it sounds like you have time to think things through, remember there's no generic right or wrong, can you try and imagine how you would feel if something went wrong now? relieved or devastated?

Sarahmarie2505 · 16/11/2011 22:11

Hi Thanks for all your replies! ive manged to talk things through with my mum she is very supportive and is trying to keep me positive! i dnt believe im very far along 4 weeks maybe ? as ive done 2 tests and the positive line is still very faint ! I should count myself lucky i have a family who cares ! im just panincking at the moment and im too seeing all the negatives even tho ive been broody for nearly a year now ! its hard becuase i work 2 jobs and im doing an nvq so i have 3 people i have to tell : ( think hopefully by the 3 month mark i may feel more used to it and start getting excited just wish this negativeness would go away !

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galwaygal · 17/11/2011 10:25

I just wanted to say, that I think that pregnancy hormones have alot to do with the feelings of panic even on a third. The feelings and emotions and thoughts you are having right now are normal.

My dh and I planned our third, but still had all the thoughts you are having. Despite lack of permanent jobs for both of us, we were just ready to go for a third, I got pregnant and miscarried early, but that made me more determined to be pregnant again, and in less than 4 weeks I was.

I was excited at the prospect of a third, that was until I was pregnant again, then during that pregnancy was worried about everything, "how will I cope with 3", "what if there is something wrong", "what if my dh does not get another job", "what about my work, will I be able to work again with 3 children at home?"..... the questions went round and round my head and I regretted getting pregnant. However..... My now 3 year old third child is one of the greatest blessings in our lives. He brings so much love and joy to our lives, I can hardly believe that I was worried about so much when pregnant with him. My worries stayed with me through out my pregnancy unfortunately, but vanished within a couple of days of giving birth. I hope that for you the worries leave earlier than that, and that you can enjoy your pregnancy.

~please be reassured that your feelings of worry are normal. I hope that sharing here has helped and finding others in a similar situation is comforting.

Countmyblessings · 17/11/2011 12:01

i agree with comment already made, doubt will always creep in but you know that deep down youll cope for there is always a way! with all the support from others also! hope all works out and that you relax and enjoy baby no3, im there and desperately want baby4 now!
Godkeepsgiving - luv the name!

Sarahmarie2505 · 17/11/2011 13:41

Thanks everyone I'm sure it's me being silly for nothing! I'm starting to feel a bit more positive today! Altho everytime my work ring I freeeeeak but I'm sure I will come round ? cNt believe I felt like this my partner is over the moon and I've still got cot and Moses basket pushchair etc as always wanted another! I might book a day with my mum so we can look at baby things in a few weeks : /

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Jellymane · 17/11/2011 20:50

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit more upbeat. I think I might be starting to accept things a bit more too. Galwaygal's lovely comments about her son have really made me see things in a new light!

Sarahmarie2505 · 17/11/2011 21:04

Yes me too thank u so much for that xx makes me crazy I see loads of ppl with third baby and I feel
So
Jelous ??? Hey jellymane we will support each other xxx

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