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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Any body else's partner acting wierd?

11 replies

georgethecat · 14/11/2011 17:27

think he's in denial that I'm pregnant. Won't touch bump to feel kicks, sleeping on other side of bed, changes subject when I try talk about baby shizzle. Tried to talk to him, have got upset with him, now there is just a sh*t atmosphere in house bleurgh.

I know partners sometimes freak out a bit but just feel a bit rejected and feel rejected on baby's behalf too.

Just feel naffed off cause baby book just show happy couples skipping through fields and enjoying pregnancy. I'm enjoying pregnancy, just want him to too.

Was a planned baby too :(

OP posts:
Onlymydogunderstandsme · 14/11/2011 18:00

Hi George-my partner has freaked out over the last couple of days. I'm just over 10 weeks and we had a scan last week and have told family and friends, this seems to have freaked him out as now it's 'real'! I'm struggling to be sympathetic and I just want to tell him to get on with it and grow up!! He works away in the week so isn't here and I'm quite glad of the space! Everyone else is so pleased for us, we have been together for 6 years and we were trying so it's just annoying me he can't be happy!! He just seems to be focusing on the negatives and doesn't want to hear of the positives!! I'm hoping this will pass!! He was fine last week!!

beginnersluck · 14/11/2011 21:29

Oh, I hear you!
I am hopeful that as the weeks go by, they get excited later on. This is something I've heard anyway, so fingers crossed.

pregnantmimi · 14/11/2011 21:50

men are like that this is what my mums said to me my dad never even went to the scans with her. My partner not as excited but I think its because its not growing inside them! They get more excited towards the end.xx

Original poster
georgethecat · 15/11/2011 11:28

Thanks guys, I will try and chill with my partner. I just feel like I'm doing this amazing party trick and hes like.....whatever.

Onlymydog....hope yours stops freaking out soon. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one all of you. Here's to slow burning partners and eventual excitement xxx

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 15/11/2011 11:35

He'll come around, don't push it and expect nothing.

My piece of advice - leave baby mags/books by the loo; he might pick up and read it when you're not looking!

roz1982 · 15/11/2011 11:46

Wow I think you all sound remarkably tolerant of these men!!

I don't think it's a good enough excuse to say "oh men get a bit freaked out" well what the hell do they think we are goin through?? I just think it sounds insensitive, selfish and childish and if t was my partner I'd be shoving a rocket right up his arse!! Why should you hang around feeling rejected whilst he 'comes round to the idea' of a planned baby?? Expecting nothing??

Serious words need to be had IMO!!

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 15/11/2011 14:51

My dh can be a bit distant about names etc although i would be pretty annoyed if he refused to talk about it in general or didnt want to feel the baby kick/go to scans etc. I agree with roz I dont see how he can really be "freaked out" about a baby that was planned and even if he was i would still be pretty pissed off at the lack of support. He doesnt have to be father of the year just some acknowledgment of what you are going through etc would be enough!

HidingInTheUndergrowth · 15/11/2011 15:43

I am with Roz and Dirtydishes, the idea that I should 'expect nothing' from my DP while I am carrying his child is a bit shocking to be honest. This situation is really is not fair on you and you should be able to expect some support and, dare I say it, affection from him whether this baby was planned or not. I'm not saying you should always expect him to be shouting his joy from the rooftops but a bit of love is not so much to ask.

I think you need to sit down with him and talk through how you are feeling and how his actions are hurting you at a time when you really need support. Remind him that this is his baby too and both you and the baby need him to be there and play his part. Remind him that even though you are pregnant you are still his DP and you still need to feel loved and appreciated.

When my DP had a bit of a freak out and I needed to talk to him I took him out for something to eat so we were in a neutral environment and he couldn't really run away, if you are finding it difficult to pin him down you could try this.

brettgirl2 · 15/11/2011 17:33

I think that it is important to be sensitive to how they are feeling. Yes, it is the woman who is pregnant but I think that men see it differently and worry about different things. Men very often see having a baby as being a big financial responsibility and they wonder how they will be able to cope and be a good father. Both partners need support imo.

openerofjars · 15/11/2011 17:49

And women don't? Tbh, I'm also worrying about the finances and childcare for my DCs as well as having the physical symptoms. I refuse to treat my DH like a delicate little flower whose fragile emotional state is more important than mine and he doesn't expect me to take a back seat in planning and being responsible for our family. It's not 1953.

brettgirl2 · 18/11/2011 13:56

No quite it isnt 1953, which is why any relationship is an equal partnership. Men do feel delicate emotionally at times just like women can. I said both partners need support Hmm

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