So sick and worried

[AllIWant85]

Hello, I just found out last Thursday that I am pregnant. Today is 4+2 but already I have so many symptoms that I wasn't expecting this early. I feel constantly nauseous, I am so tired but can't sleep, my boobs hurt so much and I keep getting random cramping. Is it normal to have this many symptoms this early?

Also I keep getting moments where I feel really freaked out and panicky about everything. I want a baby more than anything but I really don't want all the pregnancy symptoms!! I have had 6 miscarriages and I am scared it will happen again. I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and previously had depression. I am worried that I won't be able to cope.

Is all this my hormones messing me around? I'm so fed up of feeling poorly already (I started feeling nauseous 3 dpo and it's progessively got worse) and I think I'm getting bogged down by it all. :(

Sounds 'normal' to me! I started feeling nauseous 2 DPO so can appreciate how you feel - seems to have been going on for ages already! I'm now 9 weeks or thereabouts and also have the exhaustion, can't sleep, sore boobs, occasional stretching pains etc and have had them for some weeks. Things got a bit worse for me around week 7 for a week and a half or so, but seem to be a little better the last few days.

I'm sure the freaking out and occasional panic is normal too - not just from hormones, but because there's a lot to think about. I'm so sorry you've had 6 mc previously too. When you speak to your midwife, perhaps you'd like to have a chat about the anxiety and previous depression - that way she'll make sure you get all the support availabe and it might help put your mind at ease a little?

Thank you for your reply, I will tell my mw all my medical history, it's in the babys and my interest to disclose everything.

I over-analyse everything. I am already panicking because I don't know if I want a home birth or a hospital birth and thats miles away yet!! I want this baby more than anything though, I know that for certain and my mind hasn't wavered on that at all. It's just the pregnancy bit and the unknown I guess that is worrying me.

The crazy thirst has started today!! Really wanted apple juice so drove to supermarket, bought and drank 1 litre straight down then drove back to work!!

Congrats! All sounds perfectly normal to me too.

Def. bring up your conerns re: anxiety and depression with your MW. It's totally understandable that you'd be worried. They can at least make sure you have coping techniques in place to deal with the anxiety and if not, can refer you to get some. I have a history of anxiety and depression, but I told the MW what I had in place to cope and she's left it to me to come to her if I need her as she was satisfied I know what to look for and have a DH that will just tell me I'm not coping if needs be!
In moments of utter blind panic, I've found cognitive behavioural exercises have really helped me rationalise my way through the madness. As has joining my antenatal thread on here, and genrally ranting about feeling utterly mental - it's all perfectly normal, and comes and goes but you know what to look for when you're struggling.
Oh. If you boobs suddenly stop hurting overnight, don't panic, mine did that and it is apparently very common. Re: tiredness, I was utterly bloody exhausted for weeks and weeks. Try and get some exercise during the day (even just a walk round the block will help). It's good for the tiredness and good for mood management!

I walk my dog everyday without fail as I like the fresh air and seeing him happy, you are right, it really does help my mood. Not so much help on the tiredness though!!

:)

True, but it gives your legs another reason to be tired. That seemed to be one if my issues early on.
My choice of birth place is about 40mins away. At the time, I chose there, partly because there's no chance of me getting elsewhere if it snows (Jan bay) of a homebirth, as this is DC1 I wasn't wanting a home birth! As it was, it looks like my local MWL unit may have been an option (was under threat of closure when I was looking) but as I currently have a breech (30wks) I'd be looking at a referal to my hispital soon if LO doesn't turn.

Crap, cat stood on keyboard! Basically, have a look at the stats in your area. All available on NHS webite. Talk to your MW. Some of it will depend on the level of pain relief you want. Basically, don't worry...you'll make the best decison for you and your baby. Though I do get 'the panic' too. One good thing about migraines during pg is constant hospital admission for pre-eclampsia checks, so we know the way there well now!

Lol at the cat standing on the keyboard!!

Hospital is about 20 mins away and it's massive!! I have a phobia of hospitals since some nutter managed to get into the high dependency unit at the same time I came out of a coma and was stood over me ranting and raving. I avoid the place at all costs now!! When I dislocated my knee a couple of years back my GP did all the care as I wouldn't go to the hospital.

Home birth sounds good but I worry that something may go wrong.

So many choices! :)

Try visiting. In my experience maternity is much more welcoming and feels totally different to the rest of the hospital I've booked in at (again, a massive hospital). All the staff are very security conscious and seem utterly lovely. Visiting may also be a good idea whatever you choose anyway, as if you're going to experience increased anxiety due to previous experience IF (it won't) something was to go wrong and you'd need hospitalisation, that's the last thing you need. I don't see why your MW wouldn't suport you 100% with this.

It's attached to the rest of the hospital still though. I wouldn't be able to relax never mind sleep and there's no way I'd want the baby to leave my sight.

I know they have all the security locks and buzzers and cameras etc but that didn't help last time! I will discuss it with the mw and see what is suggested. I have been to the maternity ward as a visitor sonce my 'experience' but even that was not a nice experience. The panic overwhelms me.

I guess it would probably be a good idea to write a list of all my concerns so that when I see the mw I can go through them all without getting too flustered.

Yup. I've a friend that's affraid of the doctors. They've suggested she regularly goes there when she doesn't need to (even if she just walks up to the door) and try and get used to it. Probably not much help as 20mins is a hell of a way to go, but if the hospital in en route to somewhere else, then it might be worth stopping there for 5mins and doing some breathing/calming exercises?
Def. worth metioning the specific trauma to MW (beyond the anxiety and depression) as there will be things they can do for you.
can't be easy but you will be fine.

Hi,congratulations ! I do sympathise with how you are feeling. I think pregnancy symptoms can come on very early, and it's different for everyone. I don't really have more to say that hasn't been said already, but it's great that you are going to discuss things with your MW, as she should be able to support you and help you access the help you need. Anxiety is terrible (I have generally suffered with it at times and had bad PND after my little boy was born), but there are things that help. You will cope (I was worried about that too, but there's something about carrying and having a little one that helps you cling on to coping). As for the nasea, I have had it terribly since 5.5 weeks,(am now 10.5 weeks with DC2) and your GP should be able to help you if it's having a big effect on your life/diet. There are some excellent threads on here about pregnancy sickness.

I know I don't have the sickness anywhere near as bad as some people but it's still grotty to feel sick 24/7 and to actually be sick at least once a day.

Work will be my biggest issue. I have a fairly demanding job (physically), I am the only female in the company and my boss likes us all to work at maximum stress levels!!

I spoke to my dh last night and said I would probably have to tell my boss sooner than I'd hoped as he's already getting shirty with me (I was in the bathroom for 15 mins - apparently this isn't "good time management"!! )

Damn is,pressed post too soon!!

I just wanted to add my thanks to you all, I find MN a great source of info and comfort and you are all so nice abd encouraging so a big thank you!! :)

Sounds like you should tell your boss asap. If you have a very physical job a risk assessment will need to be done asap. I wasn't alllowed to go in the freezer, was made to have breaks regularly (rather than just thinking feck it, not today I have stuff to do) and no more than 5hours on my feet.

Info. on risk assessments can be found on the HSE webiste.

I know that I need to be more careful. I'm not lifting anything heavy, I'm asking for help with that and I'm making sure I'm switching between standing and sitting often.

I've kind of done my own risk assessment if you like! :)

I'm just not ready for people to know yet. After 6 mc's I've become resistant to telling anyone until things are further on.