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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

22 weeks pregnant with number 2 and..........................................

41 replies

Mandymoo · 01/01/2006 20:28

Now i'm panicking about how i will cope with having 2 children!

Also, i know i'm having a boy this time (already have dd) and am anxious about how to deal with boys as obviuosly all i've been used to is girls. I know i'm being silly but can someone please reassure me that i will be able to cope!

TIA X

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Original poster

Mandymoo · 01/01/2006 21:09

sweetkitty - i really hope things go ok for you and thanks for your reply. I suppose thats the other thing i'm worried about - dd was such an easy baby - she slept through from about 3 weeks, breastfed like a dream, etc etc - i've just convinced myself that theres no way i'm gonna be that lucky twice!

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Chicagomum · 01/01/2006 21:13

I have a dd who will be 4 next week and a ds who turned 1 the week before xmas. I knew the first was a girl when pregnant but didn't know I was having a boy second time around until the birth. I have found that a boy is more laid back and easier to cope with (despite looking after 2 at the same time). I don't know wether this is due to the fact he's a boy, a second child (and thus we are more confident in what we are doing as parents and also not totally absorbed with one baby iyswim) or it is simple his nature. Whatever the reason I think you will honestly find once you are in the throws of parenting 2 children at once you will be suprised how easily you cope.

ButtonMoon · 01/01/2006 21:38

found it easier as you are more confident as\to why they cry, handling them, ds (3m) is more calm and will lie just watching but not sure whether that's something i've done/not done or his character.....found it dead hard for first month...coping with dd (3) who wanted atten tion too but ypou just do it!! think thing i don't like is that i don't feel organised enough still but getting there.....boys same as girls except extra appendage withmind of own!!! lovin' looking at boy clothges too as have done girls for ages npow!!! best thing at mo though is when ds smiles at dd...just fantastic!!!

Chicagomum · 01/01/2006 21:42

Oh and I would also add that dd has always been fantastic with helping look after ds (really motherly) and in return he absolutely adores her, beaming every time he see's her.

thehockeyandtheivy · 02/01/2006 09:24

Mandymoo, my dd will be 3 1/2 when DS is born at the same time as yours so its all very similar. Search for my thread on the other subjects section last week when I asked everyone to tell me what was fabulous about their boys to prepare me (tbh my friends boys are all little b**rs at this age 3 and a bit so I needed some help to adjust in that department). There's loads of good stuff about boys on there, and at least we can adjust together on the May Babies club page!

eidsvold · 02/01/2006 09:33

mandy moo - i felt a little similar to you when I had dd2 - my issue was not gender differences BUT how to 'raise' or care for a child who did not have special needs. My eldest daughter was born with a heart defect and down syndrome - we learnt very quickly to care for her and her needs.... when I was pregnant the second time - I was worried about what to do with dd2 - and to be honest - exactly the same things I did for dd1 - okay not all - but feed, bathe, cuddle etc - all the same.......

when dd2 was born dd1 was 2 and 4 months - not walking and some words, lots of signs. - and we muddled through even with the 6 week post c-section recovery... no family help due to circumstances... I did a lot of worrying pre dd2's birth and when she arrived - well there was no time to worry about how to cope - you just get on with it and you do.....

You will be able to cope - dd2 bless her - is dragged all over the place and despite being a very demanding baby - we have all survived - me breastfeeding for the first time, sleep deprivation ( dd1 slept through from the first night she was home from hospital) and other little things like that..... dd2 is now a wonderfully cheeky 1yo and the two dds adore each other - even when they are wrestling each other!!!

pacinoFanOfBrusselsSprouts · 02/01/2006 09:45

Mandy, I'm feeling aprehensive too, particularly as I still haven't managed to potty train dd1 (will be 3 in a month's time) and currently dealing with awful tantrums. Before we decided to have another baby, I found this thread really useful and it's actually on my 'favourites' list: Congratulations on you expecting a boy by the way, great news!

See this thread here

daisiesinaline · 02/01/2006 09:46

Mandymoo - Personally I find boys much easier. Have two boys and one girl. They are more physical and boystrious (spelling?) but IME much easier to handle (less emotional blackmail)

Had boy first and when I had girl (2nd child), I remember feeling the same - had no idea what to do with a girl!!

Enid · 02/01/2006 09:59

what about going from 2 to 3! especially if you found going from 1 to 2 a breeze - have I got it all to come??

daisiesinaline · 02/01/2006 10:06

Enid - take it you are expecting your 3rd. Personally I found going from 2 to 3 easier than going from 1 to 2 but that was just me.

Enid · 02/01/2006 10:07

everyone says they found one (going from 1 to 2 or 2 to 3) easier - slightly concerned as I find 2 quite easy I may have a rude awakening...

QueenVictoria · 02/01/2006 10:15

You will be fine Mandymoo as long as you expect the unexpected IYKWIM.

Be prepared to drop some of DD1's routine if necessary - it wont hurt her (but it might stress you if you worry inordinately about it).

I had a DD first then a boy - there is no difference other than the nappy thing. Oh, and the clothes of course

IMO personalities are the difference and you could have two completely different children that are both girls.

DD was no trouble, she never cried much etc, but was hard work to make smile too. DS smiles all the time but has never been a great sleeper as he likes his cuddles too much .

You will cope, try to enjoy it as much as possible and not worry about the mundane things. DS is now 8 months, DD is 2.8 yrs and it is just so beautiful watching them play together now.

bubbles2904 · 02/01/2006 10:21

you will be ok because you have to be. my dd2 is 17 weeks old and i was also shitting myself about whether i'd be able to cope and if i'd have enough love to give to her but i needn't of worried as i adore them both and it's a total breeze in my eyes, my dd1 is 6 though
Congratulations btw

InternationalGirl · 02/01/2006 10:36

Mandymoo - about going from 1 to 2 I would say get dd involved as much as possible. She can help pass you items for the baby or you could also make sure she has a baby doll she can change and put to bed etc. Then she will feel more a part of what you are doing too and you won't have to feel like you are having to divide your time. Of course find special times just for you and dd but don't worry about it - we all bumble through somehow.

I have 2 dd's and am expecting a ds in March and wonder how I will manage with a boy but I just know I will and dh is so happy I doubt I'll get much of a look in after 'his boy' is born. I'm going to have to fight my way in just to bond with my son.

Original poster

Mandymoo · 02/01/2006 20:26

thanks for all your brilliant replies - am feeling much less panicky now!

You are right - its not so much about the gender difference but the fact that any 2 children are going to be completely different.

Thanks X

OP posts:

QueenVictoria · 02/01/2006 21:00

Glad to hear it MM

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