Unplanned second baby, really panicking, need advice please!

[Holly66]

I can't believe i've got myself into this mess. Had DS 16 months ago with my ex partner and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But his dad kicked us out the house when DS was 10 months and i'm back living with my mum.

Met a new man and he and I have been dating for 3 months, we are all moving in together at the end of December.

But I have just found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant and I am absolutely terrified. New DP is delighted but I genually am worried out of my mind at how we will cope. I will keep the baby there is no way I could think about getting rid of it but I am really panicking.

How am I going to cope with a toddler and a baby? It looks like the new baby is due on DS's birthday too . How will I still give my poor DS attention? He is so used to having mummy to himself. DS was a really good baby and I still really struggled to cope. I'm not a natural mother and I spent most of the first few months thinking "never again".

Sorry to ramble on, really hope someone can give me some positive advice.

Not surprised it seems daunting t this point, but somehow you will cope, you have coped so far and it sounds like your family are there for you
Hope someone else is along soon with better advice

You'll cope, because you have to.
No, honestly, it will be fine.
It is nice that your DP is excited about the pregnancy.
I had DSs 1 and 2 exactly 1 year (and 10 days!) apart, and the first 2 years were tough, but we got through it and there are lots of advantages of close age gaps.

It will take you a while to get used to the idea of being pregnant and having another baby. Don't get too far ahead of yourself.
It helped me to think that lots of peopel have done it before me AND survived.

We went on to have DSs3 and 4 btw . And DS2 and DS4 share a birthday 6 years apart - DS2 loves the fact he had a 'special' birthday present.

Have some chocolate or whatever floats your boat and relax. I am not good with babies and give thanks every day that they are not babies very long, but I do like children, so put my head down and plough on.

V best of luck to you

You will cope, it's actually easier I think to have a small age gap. BUT the thing that worries me is you moving in together so quickly. Have you really thought this through? There really is no hurry, you only had 3 months by yourself to get over a relationship before moving onto another. You have to be pretty sure that this guy is sticking around before you move him in as a family. Not to be cynical, but you cannot assume that having a baby together means he'll want to be a dad to your ds as well.

Firstly congrats

Quite aside from your relationship, I would like to reassure you about having baby number 2. It is MUCH easier. And better. After ds1 I swore I would never do it again and now here I am with a little baby actually enjoying every moment . I bet you will be the same. You will find yourself much more confident and laid back than before. maybe try to get your 1st child into a nursery if you can afford it, just for a few hours a week??

And how great that your new man is so made up. Some men would have run a mile. It is a very good sign that he ix so positive.

And your kids will be able to play really well together and be good friends as well as siblings.

What are you worrying about

Thank you all for your positive messages, they really have made me feel a lot better.

DS1 will still be going to nursery 3 days a week which will make my life a lot easier. I think I must keep reminding myself that he will have grown up a lot by the time the baby comes.

DP and I were moving in together before we found out about the baby. We pretty much live in each others houses already and it seemed silly to both pay too lots of rent when I move out. The only thing that worries me is we are moving to a 2 bedroom house and we will have to share with the baby. I know they say you should share but DS1 had to move into his own room at 6 weeks as my ex partner's snoring kept waking him up. New DP snores worse than my ex so eek! Maybe i'll kick DP out of the bedroom and make him sleep on the sofa

I'm calling DS DS1 because i'm convinced second baby will be a boy!

To the OP I am on baby number one and trust me very unplanned after all my wonder partner and I had only been together 8 weeks. We bought a house together and then found out we were pregnant about 2 weeks later.

What I am trying to say is when the time is right things come together. It sounds as though you will be fine and as for moving into the new house make sure you have fun painting a decorating and if baby is quiet then perhaps he/she can share with their older brother. It will build a bond.

Anyway good luck and keep us updated and as for DP sleeping on the sofa what a great idea after all there is the bump that needs the room and daddy snoring will be heard.