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Original poster

Am I Being Fair

37 replies

LouisaJF · 04/11/2011 13:22

Please be honest.

I am due in April with our first baby, and DH wants a long weekend with the boys in Amsterdam three weeks before my due date. It is for his best friends birthday, but I am really not happy. That close to the date, I want him home in case I need him.

Is this being reasonable, or should I lighten up a bit?

OP posts:
Rikalaily · 05/11/2011 18:23

You are being totally reasonable, you are considered term from 37 weeks. My first arrived at 35 weeks, does he really want to risk you going into labour without him there?

thejaffacakesareonme · 05/11/2011 18:23

My first came four weeks early. I wouldn't be happy with DH going away at that point incase it happened again (there was no warning). The chances of going into labour 2 months early though are pretty slim. Would the friend consider an early birthday weekend?

twogirls1more · 05/11/2011 19:29

Well may sound harsh Nooby but true I feel! If things were to happen while he was away it would be seen as though he'd run away frm his responsibilities in favour of a "jolly" with the boys! Plus it's clearly going to make his Mrs v anxious so not fair really. He would potentially be missing the "birth"day of his first DC in favour of his friends birthday! I don't really think that louisa should even have to ask him to stay home, I think he should want to be there.
Sorry louisa, not trying to offend or upset, just giving honest opinion as everyone else is and on your side! :) Good luck with whatever you decide between you and hope it doesn't become contentious. x

localcrackpot · 05/11/2011 19:40

I agree entirely with twogirls.

NoobyNoob · 05/11/2011 19:55

Oh please, running away with his responsibilities? You're making it sound like he's off to the Amazon. It's a long weekend in Amsterdam for goodness sake.

One last weekend with his mates before he becomes a Dad, like I said before, he won't get the chance to do it again for a long time. And when he becomes a Dad, he'll have all the resposibility to deal with then.

I must be far too laid back then that's all I can say.

twogirls1more · 05/11/2011 19:58

Thanks localcrackpot! There isn't a right or wrong answ to this is there really, all just a matter of opinion which we're all entitled to. :) I just hope that whatever the outcome in the end, it's satisfactory to louisa and whether he goes or not, she's happy and relaxed about the decision and he doesn't miss the birth whatever!

twogirls1more · 05/11/2011 20:10

Yes but Amsterdam may as well be the amazon if it happens as would probably miss it! (Labour can happen in a couple of hrs as mine last did!) louisa's had to go thru the whole pregnancy and then the birth so the least he can do is want to be there for it I feel. (Going off on a jolly drinking is hardly a gd excuse if it's all missed :() I'm sure too that louisa won't be getting the chance to go off on a jolly in the near future either (or will be during her pregnancy), so what's with all the male sympathy?!
Anyway, could discuss it til blue in face! I'm due to have my 4th any day so will leave you ladies to your chat! :) :)

morethemerrier · 05/11/2011 21:01

I am with twogirls!

I dont get this whole, 'last chance to have a weekend away' business! Hmm

Surely the last few weeks before you are to become a parent should be spent enjoying the excitement and preperations for the birth of your first child.

As well as supporting each other,not flitting off on a lads break under the guise of,'last chance saloon'?

He's already a dad,and surely his responsibilities have begun and if Louisa is feeling anxious about him being away that close to the due date he should stay home.

A lot has been said about early arrivals, but aside from that its more the anxiety she will go through analysing every twinge/pain while he is away that really is unessary at that point in her pregnancy.

And whats so wrong about saying 'actually honey,NO, its not a good idea' its the birth of their first baby I remember being apprehensive and twitchy at that stage with my first.

I consider myself to be quite laid back generally, but somethings you cant compromise on just to be considered 'cool'! Grin

Lets face it, missing his 'last ever chance to ever go away with his BF just a long weekend away to amsterdam ever before he becomes a dad ever' is not the end of the world.

Missing the birth of his first born child would be hard to reconcile!

JambalayaCodfishPie · 05/11/2011 22:36

I'm due April 22nd, DP should have been on a stag trip to Spain from the 5th.

I told him it was entirely his choice - it had been booked and paid for way before we knew I was pregnant.

He cancelled. He knew he'd only end up worrying anyway.

Original poster
LouisaJF · 06/11/2011 13:10

Thanks for all the responses, it has been really interesting reading all the opinions, and I'm not offended by any of them.

I think I will give him all the information regarding the likelihood, and let him make his mind up. If he decides to go, I will ask the in-laws (who are wonderful) if I can stay with them for a few days so that I'm not alone.

OP posts:
Traceymac2 · 06/11/2011 14:03

Louisa, you are being perfectly reasonable in being concerned. My two babies were born at 36 and 37 wks. With a first pregnancy you really don't know what way things will go, most do go over but not always. It's only now after two I seem to have set a trend. For my current and any future pregnancy I may have. With my first after 38 wks my dh was off alcohol full stop just incase we needed to make a dash for the hospital.

Traceymac2 · 06/11/2011 14:07

Sorry that doesn't make sense, my dh agreed to be off alcohol from 38 wks even at home but we didnt make it that far, was in hospital from 34.

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