feelling blue

[spidermum]

I found out a while ago that I am expecting no5. It was a big surprise and shock but I was pinning all hope on it being the sister dd longs for. Went for 12 week scan today and very pleased that all seems well with the baby but sonographer asked if i wanted to know what it was. I just knew at that moment it was going to be a boy. I cried all the way home. I always seem to feel more guilty about dd than the boys. I really hoped to balance out our family and it looks like I haven't. It's all very fresh at the moment and I do feel sad. I know I'll get it into perspective I just feel very raw and tearful at the moment.

you have 28 weeks to get used to have a lovely baby boy. your dd will be happy no matter what. no sure what else to say but take care.

Did he tell you it was a boy. I am sorrry you are upaet. I was told I was having a girl and had a boy. I was abit shocked to start with. At least you know now and can get use to the idea. Your dd will love having a baby about whether it is a brother or sister.

I'm sorry you didn't get the news you wanted. There are lots of people on here who have had similar situations. It will be ok, it just wasn't what you expected. When we wish for things we are sometimes setting ourselves up and I say that as someone who does it all the time!!

Congratuations btw and I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy

they can't tell at 12 weeks surely?

I was thinking the same as Enid - 12wks is sooo early I've never heard of anyone being told at that stage. Are you sure the sonographer wasn't just making conversation about whether you will want to know in the future? Either way, sorry that you have come away feeling sad like this. Hope you can start to feel a bit better again soon.

I'm very, very surprised that the sonographer would even venture an opinion at 12 weeks! I think you should ask them to check again at your 20 week scan. Even at 20 weeks, they say they are only 70% accurate so at 12 weeks it must be an (educated) guess or suspicion rather than a certainty. Am currently 35 weeks pg. I was told at 22 weeks and 26 weeks that I was having a girl only to be told at a 31 week growth scan that it was in fact a boy!

thank you for your messages. I feel much better today. Unfortunately awoken by dd saying "I wish I had a baby sister, Mummy. I'm fed up with these silly brothers!" She doesn't even know I'm pregnant. She will love the baby I know. She would just adore a little sister and it makes me feel a little sad that I can't give her that. Maybe it'll have to be another rabbit or even a dog if we can ever persuade dh . As for the scan I was really surprised that she asked if I wanted to know the sex. I thought it was way too early. The pictures were so clear though. She said at this age the penis and clitoris look pretty much the same but the penis points upwards a little. Apparently ours was quite prominent. But you never know. I just wish I hadn't said yes at this stage.

I wouldn't rely on it 100% spidermum

do you live somewhere with very accurate scanning equipment?

I'm 12 weeks and haven't yet been to doctor. Thought I'd pay for nuchal fold scan because I'd had a high-risk result with ds2. I went to a clinic recommended and audited by the fetal medicine foundation who I'd been to with ds3 and couldn't fit me in in time. The equipment did seem very uptodate and the images quite clear. I didn't question her too much about percentages because I just wanted to go home. We'll see at the 20 week scan. I think if she'd said it was a girl I would have been doubtful. From most people's experiences on mn if it's been wrong it's been a boy not a girl as told. As I said before I just hope for a healthy baby. I've got my girl, she just wants a sister. I am very close to my sister and am very grateful to have her although I do have friends who still don't get on well with theirs. We'll have to see.

I really think you cant tell at that stage if it is a boy or a girl. Sexual organs dont appear until 18 weeks.

Sorry if TMI but I have seen a 14 week old fetus and you cant see anything.