I don't think DP wants our baby.....

[ArtyFartyPants]

I found out yesterday that I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I was estatic to say the least! During June, July and August I had been having blood tests to check my hormones. I had been worried that I hadn't gotten pregnant since my DS was born....he's 8 now. Doctor said I wasn't ovulating and asked if I wanted to be referred. I said not yet, as I hadn't actually planned to have a baby with DP plus I'm finishing my degree at uni. My periods come and go as they please and have done so for the past two years, so doctor told me to gain at least a stone, I'm super skinny, and come back for more tests then. Low and behold I'm now 6 weeks pregnant which means I got knocked up the month after being told I'm not ovulating. Been with DP over a year and he knows all about the tests I was having and what they were for. He was shocked when I told him I was pregnant as was I. Obviously I know that we need to talk about things but for me my mind is already made up. I don't want to risk not having this baby and finding out it may have been my last chance naturally. I actually don't even support abortions, so I wouldn't have one anyway. I just want my DP to be happy with my decision, I love him dearly and he really is the best thing that has happended to me. I don't want to destroy what we have. He suggested that we see a fertility specialist next week to suggest our options later. What does this mean? Get rid of this baby now and let them run more tests? I don't know what I'm asking really I'm just worried about my relationship etc
Has anyone been through similar problems with their partner? If so, please tell me you had a happy ending.
I'm so happy to be pregnant!

Hi
I just want to say that I am so disappointed in the responses on this thread. I visit mums net everyday. I feel the OP was looking for messages of support and reassurance but all she got was slated. I mean FUCKITY who are you to comment on her past sex life? Do you even know this woman? Or her history? No. Just what she has wrote down on here and I know that sometimes when you have a lot to say you can ramble a bit on here. Were all suppose to be mums or mums to be helping each other out. Not in this case. I would be surprised of OP came back on this site, which I have to say has had enough bad press in the past, and it shouldn't of but people like you, and you no who you are giving UNHELPFUL responses to people in need. ARTYFARTYPANTS I hope your DP comes around and you have a great pregnancy :) ignore these people. Plus, blokes can be blokes my other half was the same in the beginning. Is it his first? Might be why he is responding the way he is, just nerves.
Anyway, take care Hun :)
Xxx

wowFuckity I'm really surprised after your situation and the support you revived on Mn that you could be so harsh with the Op.

Op, I was in a similar situation when my 1st dd was born, I had pcos was told testosterone levels were so high I would never conceive naturally dp as he was at the time and I were very lax with the contraception my reason for this was that I would have been happy to have a baby anytime his was because his mind was elsewhere. It was difficult at first but when we had the talk and I told him I was keeping the baby regardless he fully supported me as he didn't want to lose me. Now many years on we are having dc 3 and he is an amazing dad and even considering dc4. That said it was a tough time. Give your dp time to consider his options and don't expect him to be over the moon he after all wasn't hoping for a baby yet and congratulations.

AFP
Congratulations!

Like others I think some of your posters have been judgmental and not at all helpful to your need for reassurance.
However you've got here, you're here, and the only thing you can do is decide what you want to do with THIS pregnancy - and you have!
Can't totally help you out, but I'm told often I have a very "male perspective" on things.
As far as I can see men often think:

1. Men are in shock, especially if baby is unexpected, so will often be angry from the suprise alone, even if they don't realise that's what's happening.
2. Why? Quite a few men dislike uncertainty and change, especially if they don't feel in control, and really don't know how to express it.
3. DH may want to talk about furture options as, well, not to sound too pessimistic, he may be worried if you misscarry, for your sake. Men will often prepare for this, despite the fact that everything WILL BE FINE.
4. Don't forget, re: the appointment, this may be his only/last chance for a baby too! It doesn't mean he doesn't ultimatly want this baby.
5. Leading from this, you're very happy, he's still in shock, he may be worried how you're going to react if the worst happens, and maybe he feels wrong for feeling the way he does?
6. Leading on from 1&2, he may be worried about change...where will he now stand? Will you be able to cope financially? A lot of men def. feel added pressure to 'provide' and thus will work themselves into the ground, or get very stressed at the thought of it all and not really be able to express it.

Of course...I could be totally wrong...and I'm sure there are many male posters on here that will yell at me.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is please try not to second guess his motives. Sit him down and if needs be, set him a list of your concerns and questions about his reaction. Don't accuse him in the questions, just ask him.

Good luck with your pregnancy xxx

Thank you all for your kind and wonderful words!!! I only came on for reassurance that my DP will eventually come around.
We have talked about it briefly but it wasn't until last night whilst we were trying to do the deed that he opened up a bit. He was a bit paranoid of hurting the baby. He said he does want it but it has came at the wrong time, he's not sure he's ready. Having said that he knows how much I want the baby and that I will have the baby. He's worried about the usual, money etc but we both have the support of our families if needs be. He even mentioned that we could have his nieces (16months) hand downs. I think he's slowly coming around to the idea that he's going to be a dad. I told him I was worried he'd resent me and the baby but he reassured me that he loves me and of course he'd love the baby.
Oh we didn't end up finishing the deed he's a bit freaked out that there's a baby growing inside me....but he's amazed thar my boobs have gone massive!

Oh that's great news, thanks for the update.

Reassure him he really won't hurt the baby - my DH was worried about the same thing

Excellent!
Why can't men just talk a bit sooner eh!