worrying - tell me I am normal!

[emblosion]

Hi everyone, this is my first post, although I have been lurking around conception for a while...

We have been ttc for about 2 years and were told we were unlikely to concieve without IVF, so I was amazed and over the moon on Sunday when I tested positive... I am just about 5 weeks pregnant, but despite 3 more (positive) tests I still don't really believe it ... I've been getting cramps in my lower back that feel like period cramps (which is really worrying) and my boobs are a bit sore but no other symptoms apart from a tiny bit of nausea...

My fiance is getting all excited and talking about buying cots and pushchairs and things but I'm just so afraid of assuming everything is going to be ok and then being heartbroken if it doesn't work out.

Everytime I go to the loo I'm so scared I will have started bleeding and I'm putting off making an appointment with my GP or even joining the June ladies on the antenatal thread in case I jinx myself!!

Oh my word - is there anyone else out there as mad as me? If I am like this now what am i going to be like when the hormones really kick in?

You're so normal.

You'll slowly start to believe it. Pregnancy goes in peaks and troughs in terms of worry. You'll work yourself into a ridiculous lather leading up to the first scan, you'll then relax for a few days and grin like the Cheshire cat, then you'll start worrying about the nuchal results, relax a bit when you get them, become more anxious and frantic up to the 20 week scan and so on and so forth...

Congratulations. Brilliant news. You can only tell yourself that the majority of pregnancies go smoothly and there's no reason atm to suspect that you're not one of the majority. Go and talk to the antenatal thread on here, they'll all be in a similar position and it helps to know that.

And yes to holding off on cot/pushchair choices. I'd revisit that as a conversation once you're about 34 weeks and waddling....

Agree with everything Showofhands has said. Wishing you the very best. congratulations

congratulations

Best of luck.
We all go through the paranoia, so it's perfectly normal.
(i was completely convinced I was making it up right up until the bump definitely looked like a baby not a pie bump- that was about 29 weeks!. I didn't even believe the scan was real)

here's wishing you a completely boring and uneventful, full-term pregnancy :)

Congratulations! I agree with everything SOH said, except that my MW suggested trying to get most shopping/decorating etc out of the way by 32 weeks before you become too huge and uncomfortable to fancy traipsing round John Lewis or hanging curtains.

Congratulations again.

Thanks ladies - I think I actually love you both!! x

Totally normal and Congratulations!

I think every single newly pregnant woman goes through this. One minute you want to announce it to the world and head straight to Mothercare to buy the shop up and then the next you worry about going to the loo in case you see blood and every little niggle or ache in your body you think oh god what is that.

Relax, there's no rush to call your GP but once you do they will probably refer you straight to a midwife (probably without even seeing you) and they should be helpful. If not, then come on here, there's plenty of good advice.

Also, if you can try not to tell everyone until you feel sure of yourself - simply as once its said it cant be taken back and you may be bombarded by questions and do's & dont's by well-meaning friends/relatives that you cant answer or are not ready for.

Congratulations!

Please come over to the June thread onthe antenatal section, we are all lovely ladies and to be honest with you pretty much every single one of us feels/ have felt like you do right now! Try and slow your fiance downa little but saying that there is no reason not to window shop! Xx

oops - posted too soon, thanks for all the replies. It's such a relief to know I am only normally-mental, ha ha!

Nickelbabe that is exactly how I feel, like I am making it up - can't believe there is gonna be a baby in there!

Am going to be brave and join the antenatal thread xx

Nooo don't shop yet. They'll prey on your insecurities and sell you all sorts of rubbish you don't need. Honestly, let it sink in then come back and ask us what to buy because it's somewhere to sleep, something to wear and a way of transporting them. You do not need baby wipe warmers and fancy nappy bins. They'll make you buy them, they're evil, evil people.

Yes, sorry, I wasn't saying "get your shopping done by 32 weeks so start now" - you've got ages!

In fact the feckers wear a permanent expression of "doesn't madam love her baby enough to buy it a teddy-embossed china 'first locket' decorative display cup in baby pink and apple green? No? Shame on you."

Honestly, they spend the first two years 6 months in your room. They don't need lovingly hemmed curtains and patchwork fripperies. When they're of an age to enjoy their own rooms, they'll draw on them, poo on them or try to ingest them. A new baby needs £9.50 spending on it in advance. And £5 of that is cake for you.

baby wipe warmers? I like the cake idea better!

HI

I know exactly what you mean. I was told the chances of me conceiving were very low. Miraculously I fell pregnant naturally in November 2009 however miscarried in February 2010. I didn't believe at the time I could be pregnant.I was so scared to get excited in case somehow my body was producing pregnancy hormone without there being any baby. After all hadn't the Doctors told me I would not be able to be a Mum?

Since then I have been on fertility treatment without any response, and we finally got a positive after only one cycle of a new treatment, 4 weeks ago. Even after 2 scans I am still unconvinced the end result will be a baby. I fret over everything and am so cautious about how I move and stand, sleep and eat. I feel horrendous. (Appreciate the lack of symptoms!!!) I felt horrendous after the treatment and this subsided just after we got our positive test. This made me convinced I had had a missed miscarriage. Then began the nausea. And now I can hardly get out of bed. Everything is a worry. Slight tummy pain sends me to the bathroom to check, every 30 mins, whether I am bleeding and every scan has apprehension. I am convinced that I will miscarry again and that there really is something wrong and I will never get my baby.

I am realising that no matter how much I analyse and worry I can never really know whats going on inside me, yesterdays scan showed a healthy strong heartbeat, and I imagined the worst. Rather I am trying to put it out of my mind whilst I feel awful. When that is by with I hope I can relax and enjoy as much of the pregnancy as possible.

So, in answer to your question, you are completely normal. However, the outcome of your pregnancy has already been decided and you can do nothing about it now. Worrying will only make things worse and time is all that will tell. Miscarriage does happen but no matter what Doctors tell you if you have fallen pregnant once, you can fall pregnant again. I bought some things last year and it was awful having them in the house. I have not brought them out since the miscarriage and know it will be sometime yet before I feel confident enough to shop for other things. I know someone who by her 12th week had everything she needed, crib, pram, baby bath and even started decorating her nursery. I think it's best to wait. It will be even more exciting nearly the birth of the baby and by then you can be more sure of everything you will need.

Take care, rest and let nature do the rest.

Sharonx

:( Sharon

We erred on the side of caution about buying things.
as it happened, lots of peopel gave us their cast-offs, so it's worth waiting for offers

and we also avoided shopping for stuff (mainly because of the disbelief ), but when I was starting to show (couldn't fit into my swimming costume anymore!), we went to Bluewater for clothes for me, and we went to John Lewis to look at the sleeping bag things and cots (about 24 weeks). It felt very odd - like we were frauds in the shop!

Aw, Sharon! I am giving you a hug too (()) so sorry to hear about your miscarriage last year BUT congratulations on your pregnancy, how many weeks are you now?

I know you are right and that worrying wont make a difference, I am just going to take myself in hand and try to think positively. I actually think it helped just to type all my worries out and get it off my chest - we haven't told anyone in RL yet, and think I will hold off for at least another few weeks/until the first scan.

Two of my friends have miscarried recently and I think that has kind of made me hyper aware of things that can go wrong... My step-sister was one of those people that had the nursery decorated and everything bought really early, but there's no way I'll be doing that... apart from everything else, I'll need to save up for my teddy-embossed china 'first locket' decorative display cup

I was exactly the same! I fell pregnant 1st time with my 1st and everything was great! (I also was told i was unlikely to be able to have children)
So with this one (in my tummy at the moment) we had been trying for over two years and nothing, i was so sure my 1st was a miracle baby! So eventually when it did happen i was over the moon, but i worried like hell and im still worrying now lol!
I had pain and bleeding and was convinced something was wrong but luckily after scans everything was fine! I still am scared stiff that something is wrong but im trying not to worry!
Congratulations and you are completely normal! =)! xxx

DH wouldn't believe I was really pregnant (despite BFP) because at 5 weeks I had no symptoms. At 6 weeks I started throwing up and didn't stop until after the birth

As others have said its a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

For what its worth we didn't start buying stuff until 5 months - then we bought loads which I really appreciated by the time I got to be 7, 8 months pregnant because it meant we hardly had anything left to get (we just bought the basic minimum before the birth) and I sooo could not be arsed going shopping when heavily pregnant!

In fact, we'd left a last couple of things to buy and the day we'd planned to go shopping I went into labour so I ended up getting my parents to buy them (again, couldn't be arsed going shopping - this time my excuse was a newborn!)

Aw thanks Flossie congratulations to you too

oh dear re the vomiting Bartimaeus am thinking I better eat everything I can this week just in case

Hi Emblosion

Believe me I am in the same boat as you and I have to say its driving me mad! All I want to do is ask my friends, is this normal etc and I can't!!!

The lower abdominal pain, feeling sick scared everytime I go to the loo (6 tests say I am but I still doubt them!!) not to mention not wanting to see the GP incase I am not!!

I think we need to take comfort in that our hormones are making us nuts!! See you on the antenatel thread!

Frog x

Hi Emblosion,

I'm in the same boat as you. OH and I have been TTC for 7 (long) years. And we are on the waiting list for IVF. I got my (natural) BFP on 07/10/11 and haven't slept a wink since! Its just so hard to believe we could be this lucky after all this time. Honestly I thought the sleepless nights only started after the baby was born!

I went straight to Drs (after doing 5 tests at home) only to be told they don't do any tests in the Drs and he would refer me to the midwife - I got my appointment for 21st November - so I expect to be on tenderhooks 'til then!

Like you I have no sickness, just sore boobies, frequent peeing and a raging appetite - almost wish i had morning sickness just to prove that all is well! But at this stage all we can do is hope (and pray - even though I'm not a great believer)

I hope it all goes well for you, and hopefully see you on the antenatel boards too.

B.xx

emblosion; I felt the same away. I'm coming up to 15 weeks; due April, and have just been to Bluewater to buy more maternity clothing, none of my older clothes fit anymore, they have not done so for 3 or 4 weeks now. We also went to John Lewis and looked at cots and buggies. We know what we want now, but will hold off buying anything until after Xmas.
Hormones have kicked in, and I cry at the least little thing!
Somedays I don't feel pregnant, now that I'm over the nausea and tiredness. Even with a bump and seeing the scan pics it really does not feel real, infact I find the whole thing very overwhelming. Also munckin has given me a wee infection now. Tis all fun and games.
To start with I was always worrying, would there be blood when I went to the loo? why are the cramps so bad? But I think I have now settled into it. You sound very normal!
Hope this helps. x

Thanks so much to everyone that has replied, I feel so much better, am so glad I posted. Am sure I wont completely stop worrying but am just gonna take it a day at a time! I just wish there was a little window so I could sort of look in and check the baby was in there and ok!

Have noticed another symptom: a raging thirst, feel like I have drunk litres of water today!

Best wishes for all your pregnancies ladies and I will see you on the antenatal boards!

Hi emblosion,

I have three children under four and I can HONESTLY say that the last day I had not a worry in the world (in comparison) was the day before my first BFP.

From every slight twinge in early pregnancy to hoping everyone is happy and healthy now - the good think is that after your baby is born and it's tucked up in it's bed you can have a glass of and chill slightly! Every now and then!

And the odds of everything being fine / working out are HUGELY in your favour so be happy! X