Newbie- first pregnancy, not sure how this all works!

[CosySlippers]

Hi,

I am 29 year old and pregnant for the first time. I don't have a good relationship with my mum and don't really know who to talk to about the small things, so I thought perhaps I could get some advice here.

1. My first question is... When are you supposed to start the ante-natal appointments. When I had a positive HPT, I went to my GP. She dated the pregnancy at just past 4 weeks. That was two weeks ago now (but feels like ages!). What happens next? Am I supposed to wait for a letter through the post? How do I know when to see my doctor or anyone else for that matter..??

2. I'm finding it really difficult to keep the pregnancy quiet. My husband and I have both told our closest family members, and I've told my closest friends. But I feel so tempted to tell everyone. Especially people at work now that I am experience morning sickness, which I have found lasts all day long! Any advice about wha to remind myself to help me keep it quiet?

Thank you!

Hiya, Im a first timer myself this site is a life saver! I had to self refer to my midwife, I would have found out about the same time as you, I got a letter at six weeks inviting me to a group appointment at 8 weeks and my booking in was about three days later, she then booked my next appointment and my scan came via letter some time after

In terms of keeping it quiet it is hard, Ive had a bleed at 9 weeks so I kept things as low key as I could until my 12 weeks scan just in case, but I did tell family and a couple of people at work. All I can say is that I felt very frustrated with work colleagues who havent really kept things quiet at all

Congratulations anyway :)

Congratulations!

Round here the antenatal appts start at around 8-10 weeks. Phone your surgery, and ask when you need to make a booking appt with the midwife, they should be able to make you the appointment. The booking appointment will trigger the appointments for scans, and is where you will get your notes started and the form for your free prescriptions etc, etc.

There is no law about telling people before 12 weeks, just personal choice. I did tell a few close friends each time, that I spent a lot of time with, as it just made things easier (like it explained why I felt sick, or couldn't take cold medecines etc). If there is someone at work you are close to and trust, you could maybe tell them. Otherwise, just remind yourself you have chosen to wait, and that you can talk to DH about it at home. If you are feeling very sick at work, they may well guess anyway!!!

Good luck!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hasn't got a clue what should be happening! I've booked my 12 week scan at the hospital but just seem to be floundering around and panicking every time something twinges down there ( feels a lot like period pains!! No bleeding though!) I keep having major paranoia that I've made it up - two BFP and no period, but would have liked the doctor to have done something to confirm ( thought they did a blood test?) Husband thinks I'm crazy!

I'm the same with wanting to tell people, but as no one else has confirmed it I'm doing my best to not let it be common knowledge - nearest and dearest know and my bosses also as I keep pooping to the loo to throw up! not sure it'll be secret much longer as big staff night out coming up and I normally lead the charge at the bar! A feigned headache might not cover it!

I know it's not nice to talk about but I have had friends who have told everyone and then had a mc and found it difficult to face people afterwards - it depends on what you feel comfortable with? I know that's no help! Good luck with everything and congratulations!

Congratulations CosySlippers

Another first timer here - 8 weeks today! And yes, I agree with Hotpotpie that this site is a bit of a life saver, if only to find out what's normal (and a lot of it seems to be).

I made an appointment with my GP as soon as I had my BFP who dated me at 5 weeks at the time - the surgery gave me an information pack which gave a lot of useful info about scans, tests and dates. GP did not do an additional test either. Had my booking in appointment last Sunday (at 7 1/2 weeks), and my first scan has been booked in for when I'm 11 1/2 weeks. Midwife said she would next see me after the scan at 16 weeks. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here wondering what if anything is going on apart from when I start feeling queasy!! Hope this helps a little.

Thank you for all your responses! So, you think I should call the surgery soon (now at 6 weeks) and ask about the booking in appointment. My GP confirmed with a urine stick but no blood tests.

I feel a bit stupid, but... what's a BFP? Still getting to grips with all the acronyms.

cheers x

BFP is Big Fat Positive (well my understanding of it is). This site is great & has kept me sane knowing i'm not alone & most of this is normal (i'm now 37 weeks).

Congratulations.

Congratulations cosy I discovered mumsnet last year while pregnant with my son (he's now nearly 6 months). Just wanted to say that if you want to tell people now, then tell them. I told work and friends / family at around 7 weeks pregnant, as the main reason people tend to keep quiet is in case of miscarriage, but I knew if anything went wrong I wouldn't want people to not know why I was upset (if that makes sense!) the only thing I did was made sure to keep it off Facebook, too many randoms on there who I just know from school but never really speak to.

I never had any kind of pregnancy test from the dr, he said modern pregnancy tests are incredibly accurate and it's almost impossible to get a false positive; once I said I had taken 3 tests he said he had no doubt I was pregnant!

Hi everyone,

Just returned from my honeymoon, very jet lagged, my husband and I have been to Orlando for a fortnight, and have come back with the news of 7 positive pregnancy tests! Took 2 clear blue tests (the line tests) and 5 digital... I was that surprised... been trying but not long! You see, hubby is 35 and I am 29, so we didn't really want to hang around, not old I know, but we are both feeling in the stag eof our lives for a family.

Still in denial, but a few symptoms are there so does make me think. Breasts are incredibly sensitive, little swollen and quite sore to the touch (when I am able to). Appetitite very much UP, felt fain this morning though, but I am putting that down to jetlag as travelled home for almost 48 hours. I felt a little nauseous whilst on holidays. Hubby said my nipples looked darker, to me, all i see is enlarged nipple area with small white blotchy patches.....

Got Doc's appointment for Thursday 20th, for hubby and I to talk to GP, not sure if he will test again to confirm, or whether he'll just accept my 7 positives... mum says may be wise for me to take one more, maybe as soon as I wake up in the morning (first urine of the day and so on...). Doc is going to think I've cracked up, 7-8 pregnancy tests.... not desperate eh? haha. I took the first two last weekend, the first one was done with a clear mind, no desperation etc... turned the test over and saw a faint cross... well one line was solid which the vertical,,, I am so used to seeing a minus in that box.. so ran downstairs... second one came out the same... then on 11th/12th took the digital tests, all came out 'pregnant;.... coincidence or is it likely that I am pregnant?!?!

Part of me is quite nervous about Thursday, as having a baby means alot to my husband and I...and if 7 positives turn out to be negative/false I am going to be gutted.

Only thing is, I haven't had a great deal of symptoms, well apart from missing my usually pretty much on time period....(it can be a day/two day max late), but I am now roughly 7-10 days late. That hasnt happened to me since I was on the contraceptive pill (2010).

Fingers crossed I guess.... I feel different, but that is because of my painful and tender breasts..... I am just hoping not all in my head.....

MrsMorgan: Don't worry, the tests work in such a way that false positives are very very rare. I was slightly in shock when I went to see my GP, and was very disappointed that she didn't get me to do an extra test (I needed someone to tell me that yes I was really pregnant).

My midwife rang me after 2 weeks to invite me to a booking appointment, but I was almost ready to ring the surgery and chase it up when she did, so if its been too long then ring your GP and ask the receptionist when you'll get an appointment date.

Hi MrsHoarder,

I think that is what I need also, for the doctor to tell me I am pregnant.

I haven't had any implantation bleeding, is that normal? I have had slight cramp, and a little "feeling" that I get in my abdomen that my period may be coming, however, it also feels like constipation too... I think i had a very tiny amount of the discharge, I noticed when visiting the loo, but this is something that I get anyway so may not mean anything.

7 positive pregnancy tests have to correct :-/ - full of doubt, but like I said it's only because I want it soo much..

Hello. I'm pregnant with my first too. Just over 8 weeks.

I have felt exactly like all of you, but it's starting to sink in now. I got 2 BFPs at 6 weeks, went to my Doctor, and was slightly confused that he didn't do blood tests or something to check that I was actually pregnant.

I was getting a LOT of period type pains, and pains in my ovaries. I do have PCOS so I phoned up the midwife office and explained my concerns. They were really helpful and gave me an early booking in appointment so I could be reassured. They told me and pains were likely to be down to my PCOS and round ligament pain (which is where everything stretches to make room for baby.) MrsMorgan2b I'm sure the pains that you have are just this too.

I have my dating scan on 9th of Novvember, which seems like ages away. However the last 2 1/2 weeks since we found out have flown by!!

DH and I have told our close family, and I've also told my two best friends. Waiting to tell other friends at 12 weeks.

My boss knows, only because I've been signed off work for two weeks with morning sickness.

Congratulations everyone!! xx

I rang my doctor and they told me to ring the midwife (i actually had to ask them the number - like i would just know it! )
the midwife booked a booking in appt over the phone - worked otu at 8 weeks.
After that, once they've filled in all your details, made you POAS (not for thetest, but for checking proteins etc in your wee), they take a blood sample and then boo kyou in for a scan at the hospital.
(this varies from town to town, i suppose, but i can't remember if i got a letter confirming)
they also book you in for another MW appt after your scan date.
It's pretty quiet in the first few months.

oh, yes, even if you're not going to tell people at work, you must tell your boss - they should design a risk assessment for you, and make sure that you don't do any work that you shouldn't be doing (heavy lifting etc). It also means that they will understand when you're puking all the time, and that it's easier for you to book time off for antenatal stuff (thwy're not allowed to refuse you)

My work have been terrible. DH and I have been trying for a year, work know this due to various hospital visits that I needed time off work for.

I told them I was pregnant as soon as I knew because I have to lift a lot in my job, plus I was feeling very sick. Given that you don't have to let your employer know until 24 weeks by law, I felt like I was being very honest in telling them.

Since then I have been signed off sick, because the smells where I work are making it worse and I generally feel rotten anyway. My sick note said 'sickness in pregnancy'. I then get a phonecall yesterday...'We need a note off your Doctor to confirm that you are actually pregnant.'

I informed them that I wont be given a MATB1 form until after 20 weeks. Then I spoke to my sister who is a manager of a large group. She told me that by law they can't ask me to provide proof of pregnancy until 20 weeks, and that my sick note should be enough for them. She even spoke to her HR officer who is pregnant and agreed.

I can't get over the fact they would think I'm making it up.

Hippieshake, that sounds awful... and their being very unfair, causing you even more distress (like you don't have enough to deal with!!). Stick to your guns though.

Can anyone offer me a little advice, I was pregnant on my honeymoon (wasn't aware of it in the beginning though, only few days towards the end). Had terrible headaches which I normally get when im due my period. I was popping pills like no tomorrow (paracetamol with caffeine are only thing that works for me unfortunately).

I am so worried that I have caused damage. My head was throbbing again this afternoon, so had to take something then.... the plain paracetamol do nothing.

I am very concerned, as this pregnancy is what my husband and I really want more than anything... but this pain is bad.. it has eased now but am concerned about getting another like it...

MrsMorgan I'm the same. I get migraines and find that only Nurofen express seems to work for me. You can take regular paracetamol without caffeine, but nothing stronger. I was worried that I'd get a headache, so far I've only had one. I had a nap, drank some water and put a hot water bottle on my head... it seemed to work.

xx

hippie - offer to show them your piss-stick.

idiots.
once you've told them you're pregnant, that should be enough. If they don't know how the law works re: pregnancy andwork, then it's their responsibility to look it up.

Hi Ladies

Could I pick your brains for a scond plz :-)

My husband and I are going to dog sit my mother in law's 2 year speyed staffy bitch, she is my baby (at the moment), she is so protective over me. Problem is my mum and dad are having a fit. My dad is under the belief that breeding aged "bitches" and pregnant women should avoid all contact, especially in respect of toxicosmosis. Now i thought that was only in cats!

I am picking her up this afternoon, at the same time breaking the lovely news to my in laws (their next on the list).

Am I in any danger?? I do think they may be over reacting, but it is their first grandchild.

The only thing I can find on google about dogs is that they can tell you're PG.
It doesn't look like they spread toxico--- what you said i nthe same way cats do.

However, I would say err on the side of caution and if you have to clean the dog stuff, use rubber gloves and wash your hands afterwards. likewise if you've been stroking/cuddling/handling them.

I have three dogs and I'm fine. Just make sure to keep everywhere clean and don't let her jump up. Don't let her near food you're preparing, and if she licks you wash your hands.

My dogs seem to know I'm pregnant and wont leave me alone, it's getting quite annoying now!

Nickel I was extremely tempted to take the stick in to them... or offer to pee on one in front of them. I highly doubt I'll be going back after maternity leave. They've been awful for a long time x

Thanks hippieshake for the dog advice. Thankfully she hasn't jumped, well she tried once, then she seemed to stop... she has become rather protective.. and gentle.

Went out to get my paracetamol today, as had to give hubby the pain killers i bought before honeymoon (too strong for me now), i came across something called panadol actifast, i read 'safe when breastfeeding', is it just breast feeding or could pregnant women take this during pregnancy.... it's just ive never come across this before... ive normally read do not take during pregnancy or breast feeding..

Am going to speak to Doc on Thursday as i had a bad head at the start of honeymoon and took few doses of paracetamol which contained caffeine, it was a thumper! Not realising I was pregnant... want to see if there is a possibility that i havent caused damage... it's been very much on my mind..

Hi

I am almost 6 weeks pregnant with my first. I was on clomid for 6 months to help me ovulate so had been attending the hospital. They have booked me for my first scan at 9 weeks. I haven't been near my gp and feel so anxious. I'm totally paranoid I'm going to miscarry (it has taken us 1.5 years of TTC) so want it so badly. I have had a few cramps but no bleeding. Have no sickness though but wish I did as apart from tiredness and a few cramps I don't feel pregnant. It's just a long wait. I'm dying to tell people but don't want to jinx things so have told close family only.

Wish the next few weeks would be over and hopefully we have a positive scan...can't stop reading miscarriage stats!

Is it normal not to feel any real symptoms yet? I'm worried I've imagined the whole thing, despite 4 positive HPTs!

congratulations Warlin - hope it goes well for you

I didn't feel sickness until about 8 weeks - my only symptom at the beginning was feeling dizzy and faint (but I had given blood 2 days before my bfp, so I thought it was that!), and period-like cramps (which obv i thought was my period on its way!)

It's perfectly normal. :)

Hello everyone, just wanted to post something on this thread so i could find it again as i'm also early in my frst pg- 8 weeks tomorrow. trying to look out for others due around a similar time to me. I haven't heard anything about my appointments yet, maybe i should chase up. I'm feeling as sick as a dog and this afternoon i have to pluck, gut and skin a pheasant that i was given as a present. Hmph!

urgh! [boak]

take some ginger biscuits wit hyou

I drank a bit of ginger beer in the first few weeks, but I got really sick of the taste.