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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Why would you not want pain relief?

107 replies

handlemecarefully · 28/10/2003 09:06

Okay, don't get hot under the collar with me for asking this question. I'm not being judgemental, but I really am mystified why some mothers want to avoid all pain relief when giving birth. If you have decided to avoid all pain relief during your birth, please would you mind sharing with me your reasons why? I genuinely do want to understand....

I'm on baby no 2 by the way (due next spring) so I have been through childbirth myself already...

OP posts:
FineVintage · 29/10/2003 10:22

Hi HMC.

My birth plan stated that I would ideally like to do it 'on my own', but would be open to pain relief if I felt the need. I, like sykes, had low BP when preg and really did not like the side effects of the pain relief options for me or for my baby. As it happened the birth was a straight forward 3hour affair with a tiny tear (no stitches) and no pain relief (gas and air made me nauseous), resulting in a perfectly healthy 7lb 2oz DD. We were able to go home the same day, just 12 hours post birth (DD was born 2.31am), not bad for a first baby ! The epidural idea was terrifying (still is), I hated the idea of a catheter in my spinal column and also that I would be unable to move around (I was a terrible fidget when preg so wanted an active birth). The fact that the epidural also tends to slow labours down and also the recovery period tends to be a little longer was not an attractive prospect for me either. I also hated the idea of using opiates and them being drectly felt by my unborn child.

susanmt · 29/10/2003 11:56

My first time round I didn't want an epidural but was happy with other options. I was advised against the epidural by an anaesthetist (friend of dh) as I had had recent back problems which could very easily have been exacerbated by an epidural. First time round I had a 37hr back labour with augmentation and a ventouse as my (big!) girl wasn't coming on her own. I used diamorphine early on and gas and air later (went through 2 cylinders of the stuff - I still hurt but didn't give a stuff!).
Second labour was straightforward 10 hours with gas and air. I'm not sure if it was any less sore - it was still pretty intense - but I coped better with it all.
This time - well, as long as it comes out I dont care.
But I had an operation last week to insert a tube into my kidney and had it under spinal (apparantly much safer for babe and me at this stage in pregnancy (32 weeks)) and I am so glad I never had an epidural. I hated it - I couldn't feel anything from chest down, couldn't feel baby moving, didn't know where my feet were and lay there thinking 'imagine if I was in labour- could I push?' and tried - I couldnt, I didn't even know where my bum was! It was, admittedly, higher up than an epidural which is why it was at my chest, but even so, I think I made the right decision for me, as I really panicked at the feeling and lack of control it gave me, I couldn't move myself for hours! My legs and feet and bum were all really sore and uncomfy when they 'came back' I was very dizzy and sick from being left flat on my back (I was tilted on the operating table but they forgot to tilt me on the bed after I was moved and the baby sat on my chest and made me faint).
Its funny, it was the one thing I knew wasn't for me, and it was good to have that confirmed when I had the chance - just hope I never have to have it again!

Bozza · 29/10/2003 13:17

susanmt - glad you've got through the op. I know how much you were struggling with it last week. Sorry it was so awful for you, but at least you can put it behind you now.

JulieF · 29/10/2003 14:31

I didn't want conventinal pain relief in my last labour or in the forthcoming one becasue I am more scared of the pain releif than the pain.

The idea of an epidural absolutely terrifies me, along with the statistics on the increased chances of an assisted birth. If I had to have a c sec they would have to knock me out completely. The midwife has enough trouble taking a simple blood test never mind anyone trying to site an epidural.

I didn't want pethidine becasue I was scared of how it would make me feel plus I am asthmatic.

I tried the gas and air but it made me feel woozy and I hate not feeling in control, I can cope with pain so long as I know what is happening. I also have an absolute horror of being sick and I didn't want the gas and air to make me sick.

I had a back to back labour last time and I managed by being on my hands and knees a lot, having dh massage me with aromatherapy oils and breathing. This time I am going to hire a pool as I felt that being in the bath helped but eventually became uncomfortable becasue of how you lie in the bath (a pool give s you more space to move around).

If pain releif could come in the form of a tablet with no side effects I would happily take it. (Being asthmatic I can pretty much only take paracetamol though)

aloha · 29/10/2003 15:51

This is interesting. It had really never occurred to me that anyone would be afraid of an epidural - but then needles don't bother me at all.
And the different definitions of 'lack of control' interest me too. In my case, if I couldn't control my pain or my shouting/screaming etc, and felt I had to rely on someone emotionally, that would be infinitely worse for me than having a loss of sensation in my legs, fo example. I also couldn't bear to be naked in a pool with strangers looking at me writhing around - not saying it's wrong, just as horrifying to me as I know a section is to other people.

ThomCat · 29/10/2003 16:09

I'm not having a go at women who do have pain relief - but if there is no medical reason for you to NOT have pain relief, why would anyone go in with the attitude of wanting pain relief before they even knew if they needed it or not. Do you know what I mean?? I'm not digging anyone out or having a go but I just don't quite understand how if you are a healthy strong woman with no medical reasons to not have a drug free labour - anyone would have the ?give me all drugs possible? attitude. Oh no - I'm so going to be shouted at aren't I?? Maybe I should delete this - but I'm not being nasty or anything honestly. I'm just intrigued by why anyone would want drugs before they knew if they needed them or not, that's all.
Love and peace from a very NON-confrontational TC xx
Now I just have to sit back and hope I haven?t upset anyone.

M2T · 29/10/2003 16:13

Thomcat - I think it's because women KNOW that is it excrutiating, but since it's a new experience just assume that excrutiating = unbearable, therefore, why be a hero?

I went in with a GIVE ME ALL I CAN GET attitude... ended up not needing an epidural.

Before the experience of childbirth you really don't know what kind of pain it is. I mean, it's excrutiating to break a bone so you need painkillers. Even if you've never broken a bone you know that you would need painkillers.

Childbirth is a different kind of pain.... but until you've been there... you just dunno!
Am I making any sense???

Bozza · 29/10/2003 16:14

What interests me is that people have posted about the difference between having a bath and the pool as pain relief. I had a bath about 3 hours into my (9) hour labour and it was horrendous. DH ran it and then went off to have a shower in the other bathroom. I scrambled out after about a minute and the water was still there when DH got home from the hospital post-delivery. So I've always been put off a subsequent water birth by this.

Bozza · 29/10/2003 16:16

Yes M2T you are making sense. Labour pain was quite unlike any other - not to say that it didn't hurt a lot.

susanmt · 29/10/2003 16:29

Bozza I have noticed that too - that people who said they had a pool have a great experience of it in many ways. I too tried having a bath and it just made me feel awful - and we have a nice big corner bath. It just irritated the life out of me, I dint know why. But I spent upwards of 2 hours in both labours standing in the shower with dh - he came in with me and supported me in the contractions and it was brilliant. Anyone else find a shower helped - it was the hot water running on my back with the ability to move around that I think made it so good for me.

ThomCat · 29/10/2003 16:39

Yes hon' you are making sense. I knew it would hurt but that didn't automatically = unbearable in my mind. I wouldn't have NOT had drugs but I was prepared to give it a go and see if I could do it without them first. Do you know what I mean? I am just gently surprised by the fact that lots of women don't know what to expect but still know they want imediate pain relief. I just find it interesting that's all - all respect to all mothers - no matter how you dealt with the labour.

Bozza · 29/10/2003 16:54

Thanks for that susanmt. The shower didn't occur to me last time but I will definitely bear it in mind this time. Not sure if ours is big enough to accommodate us both though (well three of us IYSWIM). Actually while I was at home DH was the best thing to help me through the contractions - I just gripped his hands each time and it really helped. And between them he was running off to have a bit of breakfast, get dressed, put bag in car, de-ice car etc then being yelled back by me.

aloha · 29/10/2003 17:06

Thomcat, I'd always have pain relief for sustained pain - any sustained pain! I don't like it - not afraid of it, just don't like it. Just trying to answer your question. I always felt even before I had a section that I would seek out good pain relief and find a hospital which could offer 24 hour epidurals. I don't think pain has to be unbearable before I treat it, mere discomfort gets zapped too! Having said that, I do have my bikini line waxed But then that's over a bit quicker than childbirth (and I have been known to take a paracetamol beforehand even for that)

ks · 29/10/2003 17:19

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Tinker · 29/10/2003 17:19

Completely agree with aloha about the horror being seen writhing round in a birthing pool, naked for all the world to see. Couldn't have care less about being on full view during the final stages but would not have wanted all that exposure whilst in the sober stage, as it were. But then I'm funny about communal changing rooms as well.

ThomCat · 29/10/2003 17:31

LOL at bikini wax Aloha

Thanks for taking time to explain and I do understand what you're saying about knowing it's going to hurt therefore knowing you'll want drugs.

I'm just really of the mindset that thinks ?suck it and see? before taking the pain relief on offer. TBH - the thought of having everything slowed down and being confined to my bed was worse than the thought of childbirth. I couldn't have coped with being made to lay flat on a bed - no way!
Different strokes for different folks.

I also went to active birth classes which was all about helping you adapt the ?I can do this without drugs? attitude and generally helping you prepare body and mind for a labour free of pain relief. So after 5 months of those classes I really believed I could do it and didn't feel at all apprehensive. Like I?ve said before though if I hadn't been able to get on with the pain I was in I would have done what was necessary to ensure the safe and quick delivery of my DD into the world.

fio2 · 29/10/2003 17:49

ks first stage is 0-3cm - 10cm and second stage is delivery, third stage placenta. 8 hours sounds an awful long time - poor you

fio2 · 29/10/2003 17:52

I didnt want to be seen naked either but I eventually had about 20 people staring up me doodar I had never had a smear either as I was only 21 and fell pregnant before I was called (was dodging having one really) and the first internal I had was the obstrectician (sp?) who was of african origin, about 6ft6in and had the biggest hands you've ever seen!!-ouch!

outofpractice · 29/10/2003 18:15

Interesting what you say about nudity in a hospital birthing pool. I was not particularly bothered about that, although I would have been upset if the door had been open, but I certainly feel that after childbirth (and subsequent breastfeeding all round town) I have lost whatever vestiges of physical modesty I ever had! I quite enjoy having lost it!

pupuce · 29/10/2003 20:43

KS
0 to 3 is usually early or pre-labour (and in a seconf or later pregnancy a lot of women are 2cm before they actually start labour)
3 to 10 is established labour (first stage)
8-10 (non of this is THAT precise) is transition
10 or full dilation and you are in 2nd stage

For a 1st time mun - on average the 1st stage is 12 hours (though loads have longer ones partly because they count the 0 to 3cm).

HTH

pupuce · 29/10/2003 20:44

Once you are in well established labour or transition very few women care what they say or wear.... they are birthing

bobthebaby · 29/10/2003 20:52

I was naked in the birthing pool, too busy having a baby to put on swimming togs. I did shave my legs and armpits on my due date though, so I was decent

JulieF · 29/10/2003 21:00

Pupuce its interesting about what is classed as extablished labour. I had always said that my labour was 11 hours (first contraction to birth)

However if established labour starts from 3cm as you say then my labour was actually only 3 hours long.

Maybe its a good job I am going for a homebirth this time.

aloha · 29/10/2003 21:25

You know, I think the idea I might in such as state that I didn't care who was looking at me writing around naked & pregnant appalls me even more! I think I'd find the embarrassment excruciating, personally - I could be wrong, but I haven't even worn a swimming cossie in public more than three times since ds was born - as someone else said, different strokes for different folks.
Actually I can be quite stoic about pain - had enormous ovarian cysts that were absolute agony - but I didn't actually enjoy the sensation, I have to say. Still prefer it to the public nudity though

ks · 29/10/2003 21:28

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