breaking the news

[Claire129]

Hi everyone, how do you break the news to your family members that you are expecting your 4th child. i am 30 and my dh is 34 and worry what our families will say as they all raised an eyebrow and we gotsome funny comments from them too with my 3rd. VERY scared telling em and dont know what to say as i know my so called FATHER will lecture me as usual, think the in laws will be ok but feel really alone and frightened. I know my kids will be thrilled as they have ALL been asking for a lil bro or sis for ages now, please HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Could just tell them something along the lines of "we are very happy to tell you that we are expecting our 4th baby" to make it clear you are pleased and don't want a judgement...? congratulations by the way

OP, I hear you. I had some funny responses to our announcement recently that we are expecting our first child (I am 39) - 'Was it an accident?' and 'Oh, is it a matter for congratulations?' were two of the gems. I started making it very clear by my phrasing that I was thrilled, and expecting a 'pleased' response, even if it was more token than anything. I'd put on a big smile, and say 'We have some lovely news - we're having a baby!' or something along those lines, as Clandy suggests. And cut off the rude, surprised or disapproving responses immediately.

Congrats! I would agree with the above - make it clear you are delighted and this will send a clear message that you expect them to be delighted too, or at least pretend.

I had a few shocked faces / queries about whether mine was planned (first, at age 35), even though I'd got married the year before and had just bought a 4-bedroomed house. Admittedly I did not tell people we were trying for children as I didn't know if we would have any luck - but still!

Good luck Claire - my mum was supportive when I announced I was pregs 4th time round. My dad was just rude really. Fuck em all is my advice - I felt I wasn't prepared to terminate my son's life based on what other folk thought. None of their business really unless you're asking for their help in a big way. Congratulations btw!!!!!