How long does this bit last???

[munz]

just wondering is all, not sure where to post it. but i'm now 29 + 1 - seems to be taking forever at the mo - (it's actually not) but i'm in the I soooooo can't be arsed mode, poor DH is doing everything, I feel like such a crappy wife, yesterday I couldn't even be arsed to get up and cook a dinner so he had sarnies he say's he doesn't mind but I feel on the verge of tears all the time, and worried about the baby. feelin fed up and just want the baby to be here already - even thou I ahve another 9 weeks min.

also worried I might be a bit depressed/get depressed as I had depression when I was younger but managed to swing out of it (after about 6 months) but I can feel myself slipping again.

DH is trying so hard but all I want to do is sit and cry/sleep - how long does this bit last for? the first/second tri were fine, no tiredness bearly any sickness (just felt it) plenty of kicks. am also thinking once baby's here I won't have kicks anymore and thta's a depressing thought.

am I normal???

A bit of depression is normal. Do you really want to know how long the tired, can't be arsed feeling lasts?

I felt absolutely horrible from about that stage onwards, as soon as I had the baby I went off on a hormonal high and I was hap-hap-happy! And then it went swoooosh and I felt exhausted, and now about 2 months in I'm finally feeling level headed and as tired as would be expected... I think it's different for everyone though...

If you're very worried about depression creeping in talk to your m/w or GP, but fwiw I think you're having a very common prob!

thanks girls, and yes I honestly want to know how long it lasts for! I'm just feeling so fat/ugly, and want to cry even thou DH says I'm not. and I can't manage to walk (waddle) around tesco's anymore/can't be arsed to! lol.

sorry just having a bit of a down moany day.

Well if you really want to know, I would say this was how I felt for the rest of the pregnancy...sorry! I never understood that serene, earth mother things in late pregnancy. I always felt like a huge fat lump of blubber and had all the energy of a limp tea towel.

But it gets better after the birth!

can you do something nice for yourself that you only get to do when you're pregnant - like a pregnancy yoga class or aquanatal, brilliant for feeling like yourself in your own body for a bit?

i found that helped a lot.

Are you eating well? Can you get some exercise (har, har, I know)? The "beached whale" feel is horrible isn't it. Do you like swimming? I found it fantastic at this stage because you get in the water and suddenly you're not carrying the weight anymore. You can pretend you're not pg for a bit.

I miss the baby kicking inside. Being kicked on the outside is just not the same! Oh, but when they smile at you... fantastic.

If you can't be arsed to do anything then don't, and don't feel guilty (I'm assuming this is your first???). This is the last time for about 10 years when you will be able to just do nothing. Your dh is not growing a human being, he can make his own dinner.

As for how long the feeling lasts - well, we're trying not to tell you. I'll give you a clue - dd is 3.6 now. Ummm...

lol, thanks girls.

I do like swimming yes, I think I may well take it up again over the xmas period (might even drag DH along - althou he's not fond of bearing his chest in public! lol)I fear thou if I get in the water will all go over hte top! lol - well not quite that bad, bump is the exact size it should be so at least that's something. I do walk the dogs with DH as well - but at the mo it's all I can do to go around the park once - and even then i'm more knackered than the dogs after! lol.

yes it's our first.

tbh as dumb as it sounds i'm not eating as well as I could - no matter how much DH is telling me I should cos i'm not hungry. yesterday's food consisted of a bowl of cherios, a choc muffin, a cheese sarnie, jelly pot and bag of hula hoops. hardly neutrious.

think I might have to get my hair done or something. it's a worrying thought as well - of OMG what have we done we're gonna be parents our we ready will we cope etc.. but after all we've done to get here it feels like i'm being ungrateful when i'm honestly not.

Hi munz, My first time on here - I'm expecting a little boy in Feb. I too am a first time Mum to be and i can relate to you being scared of how you'll cope. But I think if we weren't then that would be more scary really - this is the most massive thinig you will ever do and at the end you will have made a little person that is entirely dependent on you. Of course it's f*ing scary!!!! If we weren't scared that would say a lot more about us! Do you know any other people in your situation or other friends who have ad babies recently? i find that really helps both with making you feel as though you WILL cope (and you will), and also on the low days. I am very lucky in that I ahve a friend with a 5 week old boy and she has been great at sharing things with me and showing me how to look after him. If not here may be parentinig classes or similar that your midwife could tell you about that might help you.

Don't beat yourself up about not looking your best / your diet etc. You are just doing the best you can and finding it difficult from time to time. You have the right idea to look after yourself and do things to make you feel good - try to get away from the fat tum and focus elsewhere by getting your hair or nails done. And if the bad days start to get more frequent mention it to your midwife...

All the best xxx

Munz, I hate this bit of the pregnancy too. Feels like you have been pregnant forever and still have AGES to go. I'm all for going with what your body tells you to do. If you're feeling a bit tired and don't want to be doing much, don't do it. Make the most of any opportunity to rest. I usually find that when I've had a day or two where I just feel like doing nothing, if I go with it then I pick up again a couple of days later. And it's not a bad thing to get your dh used to the idea that the wife who had dinner on the table for him when he got home from work probably won't be around for a while once the baby arrives. The earlier they get into the swing of being self-sufficient, indeed, being able to look after you, the better.

lol YB - DH in fairness to him is excellent - we do both have can't be arsed days but he's been brillinat cna't fault him really. esp as he's been gettin up earlier this week/end. we had a pizza for tea not good again! lol.

alice - welcome to the MN madhouse, i'm having a boy as well, when r u due? i'm due 3rd march. glad i'm nott he only one feeling like this! lol. I do have a friend next door (who's unfortunatly moving in april) who's got a 2yr old DD, and then there's a girl in the corner who's got a 5 months DD and another girl the other side of the estate who's got a 2 yo DD and a 2.5 month DD. thing is thou they're DH's mate's wives if that makes sence? - he's been trying really hard to get me to meet new mums etc on the estate (we're militry) but they're moving/due posting's soon. was gonna go the baby massage classes once baby's here on a tuesday afternoon and take it from there really. they do have a coffee pot as well. and anti natal starts after xmas here. I'm not openly confident enough to knock on someon's door thou I don't really know and say hiya i'm X's wife fancy's a brew! lol. (I prefer them to come to me for the first few times/to have DH there for moral support)

Hi munz - I'm also due in Feb, and experiencing alot of the same things. Sorry, but I have to agree that it could well go on until the baby is born. There is a thread on antinatal depression here somewhere which a few of us have been using. I can't do links but will bump it for you in case you're interested.
The antenatal threads on here are alsovery supportive - the Feb one has mums due end Jan to beg March and you'd be welcome there!

I also miss the baby kicking once it's been born. It's one of my favourite things about being pregnant.

Hi munz - sorry to hear you're down but you sound really normal to me (and not a bad wife - you're pg fgs!!)I'm due in jan and was horrifically up & down for a couple of months (had a huge panic at one point that I was (getting) depressed/would get PND etc but I'm feeling much better now so be assured it doesn't last (there's no link betweeen ante & post natal depression anyway BTW)Just try & remember it's the hormones!!!
Have you got a HIVE where you are? have you tried to pop in & chat to whoever is serving the coffee (you don't actually have to have one - busy, passing through....) just to find out what's going on - I'm sure they'd introduce you to others in a similar situation. Alternatively, does your DH's section have a wives thing going on? Hope you feel better soon but in the meantime please stop beating yourself up over this. Your DH is perfectly able to look after himself and would probably enjoy helping you more - ask him & don't feel guilty - you're busy growning a new person!!!!

Hi munz, I'm due 17th Feb!

It sounds like you have the right idea and are already doing lots to help yourself so good on you. I know what you mean about not wanting to just pitch up to a stranger's house though! I've been going to antenatal classes and one of the best things about them is that you meet others in the same boat, maybe non-military too so they'll be about for longer. How about asking your hubby to invite some of the other ladies over if you would find that easier (with their partners too so it doesn't feel too much like a blind date!!!) There's nothing like being pregnant to get you chatting! Then you could arrange to meet for coffee or something and take from there....

I think you're doing great though (and your hubby sounds supportive which is cool). Take care x

jas i'm on the march board, I did start on the feb board but had a m/c at 5 weeks. (silly thing is my scan't put me ahead of when I know my date's are - in other words I concieved when I know for a fact DH and I were def not having sex as I was still bleeding ) the march girls are all fab as well. I saw the other thread thou and will look in there - it's so good to know i'm not the only one feeling like this! lol.

today seems to be a better day, (not feeling like crying so least thats one thing!) - or that could have something to do with the fact I watched 2 vin desiel films last night lol.

thanks chris for your advice as well. my main worry if i'm completely honest is the fact I might get PND after baby's here, and I don't like the idea of being dependant on DH - which is why I want to still work p/t - i've not been dependant on anyone since I was 16 and started working! yes we do have a hive which I beleive is open 2 afternoons a week or somehting - and a place called SB's which is like a cafe (help urself type thing) i've not been yet as a) i'm currently working f/t and b) i've heard - like u do, several roumers about how bitchy it is/the wives play the rank/sqn card which tbh I don't give a crap about - i'm me not CPL x's wife iycwim. that's the main prob with down here - the bitchyness (that was here when I first came so i'm reluctant to get back into it again - roll on next year when we move! lol) I do prefer having civvy mates tbh. we've been invited out to friends with children over xmas so will be going to meet them.

DH is fab really. he's the rock, that lets me break against him, and I do feel bad cos he's so good to me (99% of the time! lol) it's good he understands - althou might have played the pg hormones card too much as now he's stopped talking - think it's fear of gettin his head bit off/rejected!