A short rants about midwives........

[themightyskim]

at what point did midwives become the biggest bunch of grumpy horrible non-understanding harpies alive????

Don't get me started on Midwifes!! I had to change my first one, I had a 11.5 week miscarriage and she didn't return my call when I rang the emergency number so after the 3rd time of me calling her she finally called me back and sent me to the hospital.

When I got assigned her again after BFP less than 2 months later she was just awful, she didn't have any of the information we needed at the booking in session and when I started bleeding at 8 weeks we tried ringing her again but again after 2 unreturned calls we had enough and complained and got a new one, luckily my bean is ok. The new midwife is ok but never around to help either. We had a problem at the hospital recently and my OH had to threaten to complain to her boss as we spent over a week leaving messages for her to call us. I think the problem here is that they all work part time.

My community midwife is absolutely wonderful- and she's bloody good at her job too! She always makes me feel at ease and like I can talk to her about anything. This is my 2nd pregnancy with her and at my booking in appointment she remembered details about my 1st pregnancy- she could even remember DSs name (ok she might've just looked at my notes but still, I was impressed).

I think they are under a lot of pressure and, if recent news stories are true, there's a huge shortage of midwives in some areas so no wonder some are failing to provide a decent service.

Met 3 midwives up until now (2 for appointments and 1 that although off duty was kind enough to guide me through the hospital) and they've all been lovely. The first one worried me a bit as even though she was all smiles, nearly started crying because she wasn't able to draw blood for the first test. Refused to carry on after two measly tries and said that it was literally like drawing blood from a rock and made me go to the blood testing department (can't remember the fancy name for it) at 7am the following morning.

Gosh, I think I must be very lucky! My community midwife is lovely as are the ones at the EPU, and the others I have met. The only thing that has worried me at all is that one of the EPU midwives thought "anterior placenta" meant on the back - other than that, they have been both lovely, generous with their time, and amazingly knowledgeable and confidence-inspiring. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me when it all goes horribly wrong and I get some awful bitch for the birth!

Sorry about your experience, OP. You must feel very frustrated and angry that you're not getting proper care. I'm sure it is worth complaining because the general standard seems to be very high (my experience and many on this thread).

Mine have all been great so far and I've been in several times panicking over minor pains. They couldn't have been more patient and reassuring, even kept the clinic open late to wait for me when I got a taxi across town, then did all the checks, took their time and told me I'd done the right thing to come in. I was so grafetul for their kindness I cried!

I have had about 8 different midwives as my original assigned one was so rude and useless I refused to see her. ( she ignored calls/texts and was generally just unprofessional) all the others I've seem have been ok but best has been the newly qualified one as she is on the ball! I don't know who I'm seeing next appt (39 wks next wk) but always thought I'd have a me that I could call if needed etc but nope I've got advice from on here, Internet and friends. I discovered I had low platelets myself by going to have the lucozade challenge done, and have got all my own blood results as the midwives never chase them!
I have one lovely long letter of complaint heading my PCTs way once I've had this baby! I don't want any other 1st time mum to be treated the way I have been. One of my appt was in an office, sat uptight in a chair and she wrote in my notes the position of the baby but didn't even feel it. Luckily I managed to get another appt as was concerned I wasn't checked properly.

The midwives at my hospital have been fantastic though (different PCT) - they have basically helped me run my whole pregnancy by being contactable for results, advice etc. And they are super busy delivering babies at a very busy hospital. Fingers crossed whoever I have helping me deliver this baby( if he/she ever comes!) continues the hospitals great service. And of course a letter of praise is being sent to that hospitals management!:0)

People having bad experiences - complain. Please!

I've had a mixture of midwives and even the same ones are lovely some days, rubbish others.

I think it's like any profession - you get some nice ones and some not so nice.

I have to say that the ones on the postnatal ward at Chelsea and Westminster were without exception absolutely VILE!

wow such a mixed bag, maybe I should just move area?!

I spent the whole of yesterday trying to contact my midwife and her team, just ringing out, not even an answering facility its done nothing to improve my perception so far

Can you afford an independent midwife?

Also ringing my midwives department was a fruitless exercise most days! Pot luck getting through.

My first at my booking in appointment was horrible, rude and wrote in my notes that she'd discussed and given me things she hadn't, done my BMI completely wrong and even with form for prescriptions gave me it and said she didn't have time, go see my GP. The place was empty, but it was a Saturday morning so obviously wanted to get away as they only do half days on a Saturday.

Second was nice, but seemed a little stressed as it was so busy. Third, not on my normal midwifery team unfortunately, just sent over to her after consultant appointment, was lovely and although they were very busy and I wasn't actually booked into see her took her time and went through all of my concerns and talked to me about things I hadn't even thought about enough to worry me yet!

If you don't gel with your midwife ask if you can either see her again to sort things out or have your care from another midwife. It is important you feel respected and cared for and can trust the midwife providing your care. We are all human so will not gel with everyone. Your midwife should understand this. I am a midwife. Thankfully I've never had this happen to me but if it did I would respect that woman's wishes. I do know other mudwives it has happened to though.

If you don't gel with your midwife ask if you can either see her again to sort things out or have your care from another midwife. It is important you feel respected and cared for and can trust the midwife providing your care. We are all human so will not gel with everyone. Your midwife should understand this. I am a midwife. Thankfully I've never had this happen to me but if it did I would respect that woman's wishes. I do know other mudwives it has happened to though. Independent midwives are always an option. Don't let money put you off. Nearly all of us work something out with you.

All the community MWs I have met so far have been lovely. As have the ones in hospital I have met so far this time. I am starting to get quite anxious though about when I am admitted due to some bad experiences when I had dd.

beautiful births its actually been several people for me but, I have to say that I decided to keep trying to get hold of my midwife, to fill her in on what was happening and ask advice about something else, its taken me five days trying but today Ive spoken to her and I have to say she was very reassuring with me and very supportive, not at all like the two other occasions ive met her on. I haven't spoken about my disappointment so far I decided that I need to accept that I may never get the information that I want from the midwives themselves and that I just need to start asking around until I find out what I need. I hope that my next appointment is similarly positive as I know that its with someone ive not met yet :)

Oh, I cant afford an independent one no but never mind

I've met four mw so far in my two pregnancies - two were absolutely fantastic, wonderful and inspiring women, one is a bit of a nicompoop and one woman's appalling treatment of me when I was in labour has left me quite traumatised. Total mixed bag. It's a shame because it puts you on your guard with people you really should feel comfortable trusting. I hope you manage to get some better experiences.

My community midwives are generally a nice enough bunch, although a little disinterested and you can never get hold of them. The midwife who delivered DS however was a thoroughly nasty piece of work. She sat at the bottom of the bed whilst I was pushing, writing up notes and glancing up occasionally to yell at me that I wasn't pushing properly, she didn't offer any advice as to how she wanted me to push at all. She didn't explain how to use the gas and air but wrote in my notes that I wasn't using it properly. After 3 hrs she wandered off to find a doctor and left me pushing, alone, for 20 mins. I made a complaint about her and have written in my birth plan for DC2 that she is not to provide any aspect of my care in labour or delivery, whatsoever. Horrible woman.

I had one great midwife whos lovely super nice and caring another one who was a bit blunt but nice.But one I saw at the hospital was a total cow who put stuff on my notes that wasnt true that made me look bad and when I started crying didnt offer me a tissue or anything and was really rude so put a complaint in I dont know why such a horrible woman would go into a job like this. When I told my sister about it she said all midwifes are patronising and like that but I only met one thankfully.

The one universal experience I have of midvives is that they are too stretched for time (I had no midwife on my first deliver until I was 8cms as they were all on emergencies). I have then had the same experience as in any sphere of life, some good (almost superhuman) and some really rather rubbish. Midwife quote after I dragged my near dead self out of bed to receive her visit 'I don't do medical stuff, I just do cuddles'. (cue me wanting to punch her but being too weak post blood transfusion to lift a fist). If you are really unhappy with them good to do something about it now as they will irritate the living cr@p out of you when you are in labour. Hope the bleeding stays away, must have been really scary.