20 week scan

[NorthernGirlie]

Hi all
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Just a quick question - I've got my 20 week scan booked at local NHS hospital in a few weeks (I'm 15 + 5). and was just wondering about procedure for those of you who've been for one already...

At my dating scan I noticed that other women were being called in for their 20 week scan and Dads were turned away from the consultation room initially (very nicely, not as it sounds!!) and told that 'We'll see Mam first then call you'. They were called in about 15 mins later.

At the end of my dating scan the sonogropher said 'See you in a few weeks, we'll be seeing you first then invite Dad in'

To be honest we were so busy thinking about the current scan that we didn't think anything of it - but we're now wondering why this would happen.

Partner has joked they must be planning on having a 'rummage' - my guess is they ask questions they prefer you to hear on your own??

Any ideas for a curious Mammy to be??

I'm not defending it, just relating my own experience, I don't know anything other than what happened at my 20 week scan so I have no idea what happens if something's wrong! Right or wrong though, that is their policy, I have no idea what happens if you just refuse to go in alone, knowing them they may well be stubborn about it in case the rest of the (always jam packed) waiting room sees someone go in with their partner.

Ive never experienced this, had 4 scans and DH always allowed in.
Never been asked about DV either...

Thanks Featherbag I knew someone from Sunderland would come along :)

Bit gutted about my OH not being able to come in - the first second or 2 after the scan is turned on but before you see the baby are nerve wracking and I like to hold his hand! Hard lines though I guess!

NGx

Just a quick update - I've spoken to a friend of a friend who did her midwifery training at Sunderland - she's confirmed that it's to stop Dads interfering / getting in the way whilst they do measurements etc.

Not keen on it to be honest and am considering challenging it - wonder what they'd do if I burst into tears and begged them to let him in - lol ;)

NG :)

at my 12 week they asked me in first left dp waiting all it was is they wanted to know if there was any problems with domestic abuse or if there was anything i didn't want him to know (i said what like he's not really the daddy and midwife said you'd be surprised) this also happened to my friend and she does not want her DP to know she had a termination when she was 19 as he was not the father and wants to keep it to herself.

At 20 week my mum came and was in with me straight away but i did not see midwife that day might be different if you see midwife at the same time.

Also had a friend who didn't want to know sex and put a little sly note in her records not to tell them as her DH was pushing to know and she knew he couldn't keep his mouth shut if he did find out could be along those lines??

Hi All

Just a quick report back- had 20 weekscan yesterday (everything fine happily!) BUT -DP wasn't allowed in for the first 10 /15 mins whilst she did measurements etc. When I first went in I explained that I knew it wasn't policy but that I'd really like DP to be with me when they started the scan. I was told that she couldn't change the rules for me and that she really needed to concentrate without DP getting in the way.

I said that I'd thought it was my right to take someone in to an NHS appointment but she said not in this case! She said I could complain if I wanted to but obviously that didn't help yesterday! Really took the shine off the scan but there you go - policies eh?!

Hi Northern, im Gateshead, so dont know if we both fall into the South Tyneside district, but my DH came straigt in with me for my 20wk scan. He had to wait a while before my 12wk, but only because I was took to be weighed and have urine check before being brought back to wait for the scan to begin.

They were VERY inclusive of DH, showing him loads of things and answering his questions.

I would not be happy to do the scan without him, even part of it. In fact, I would have tried to be stern and insist (might have caved though!)

Never ever been asked about Domestic Violence though?? That seems odd to me(that they ask) !

Hi LABFCBNQ - I think Gateshead is different - that was part of my argument, Sunderland seems to be the only place that does this! I tried to be stern but it just seemed to piss her off - i explained that I felt anxious about the scan and really wanted him there. She was adamant that she had to concentrate and that she wouldn't change the rules for me (I don't want them changed just for me, I want them changed for everyone going to Sunderland!)

We have to go back in 3 weeks as she couldn't check the heart properly because of babies position and she said the same would probably happen. This means my OH taking a hday of work to be invited in for a quick look right at the end.

Slightly gutting and to be honest if we have more children in the future i'd consider going to Newcastle or Gateshead for pre natal care because of it!

We are expecting our first baby and have been told the same regarding fathers in the scan. We are in the process of making a formal complaint at this ridiculous policy. It is completely unfair that because of a few people talking during the scan we miss out on a precious moment as a couple.

If you are using the maternity services at Sunderland Hospital and like us believe this is completely wrong, PLEASE make a complaint in writing to the PALS department. It is the only way this will change!

We will be changing hospitals for the scan and possibly the birth as I do not know what other unfair policies they will have.

I know I'm a bit late joining this feed but thought I'd leave a message about my experience in case anyone finds this thread and is worried.

I'm in Sunderland too. I noticed the midwives asking all the partners to wait in the waiting room for a few minutes beforehand at a previous appointment and they did this with me at my 20 weeks last week. I went in and she was lovely. She had turned the screen around so I couldn't see the scan and could share that moment with my DH. She then quickly measured everything and typed it all into the computer while chatting to me at the same time. She then called for my husband and let us take a while looking at the scan and explained everything to us.

It is odd that it's the only place to do this! I'm just saying this as my experience (I understand everyone has a different experience!) but I didn't have a problem with it. I was happy for her to take a few minutes to do the measurements etc. first and then for her to be able to let us really appreciate the scan.

I do think it would be better if they explained the system before you go in. I saw partners been asked to wait in the waiting room at a previous appointment, so I had pre-warned my husband I thought that would happen. If you didn't know, I think it would be a bit worrying!

I had my 20 week scan 2 weeks ago and in my local nhs hospital, only one person was allowed present in the room with you... I managed to get me, my mom and my partner in this room! And the sonographer didn't have a clue.
Its unusual if anything!
And as for abuse forms etc, I filled those in with my green notes at first midwife appointment! Unless the hospital you're with is a bit backwards? I have no idea!
Good luck and congratulations either way x

I would have had a complete panic attack if this had happened at my hospital. At my 12 week scan in my last pregnancy we found out that the baby had died at 8 weeks, but I had had no symptoms at all to suggest there was anything wrong. The moment when she told me it was bad news will haunt me forever. I am pregnant again, now thankfully 26 weeks with a healthy baby, but scans now terrify me after that experience and I can't go into a scanning room without shaking and on the edge of tears. If I had to do that without DH I wouldn't be able to stand up to go into the room. After that awful scan I have always asked them to tell me straightaway that they can see the baby's heartbeat, so if I would have had to have gone into the 20 week scan alone and there had been a problem I would have known straight away with DH sitting outside. It's a terrible policy and I would be complaining about it very strongly if it happened in my area.

Here, the sonographers tell you at the 20-week scan that they are going to do all the measurements and checks first, before showing you everything. They tell you that as long as you don't move, you can talk to the person with you quietly. You'd have to be a prat to ignore an instruction like that really.