Denied entry to club because I'm pregnant!!

[AllyZ]

I'm totally in shock. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and my girlfriend is visiting two days without her hubby and dd and yesterday we went out for a drink to show her town (we're in France - holiday house). Everything happens late over here so had a drink (juice) at 10.30 pm, nice chat and decided to leave at around midnight.

On the way the car we pass the club in the same building as the bar we've just been at and decide to go in quick so she can have a look, probably wouldn't even have got a drink, just ten minutes and home. I think the doormen are joking first when they say "no, we you can't go in because you're pregnant. We don't allow it". But NO, he's not joking! They say it's for health reason (eg. me falling over etc). I explain that I'm just going to the bar, not dancefloor and literally staying ten minutes to show my friend the place. Nope. Denied.

I'm so furious and feel completely humiliated. Like they make a decision that's mine to make and basically tell me I'm a bad person and mother for joining my friend in a club after midnight.

Has anyone ever heard about anything like this???

Defence!

Btw I absolutely agree that it should be your choice, absolutely.

Just the same as it would be my choice to go running or cycling up to 39 weeks pg, even though I could see others visibly wincing at the idea. But if I went to a sports centre and wanted to do a 90 min circuit training and they said no, not here you don't, then I would respect that was their rule to protect themselves from any liability.

Sorry x post rule

IF there is something harmful to pregnant women at stages where pregnancy is visible, surely it is also harmful to pregnant women at earlier stages where visial inspection can miss the pregnancy or any other women or men.

Bollocks argument indeed

As mentioned, please stop using the term 'handicap' - it is really inaccurate and offensive.

I am at this! My best mate is having her bday night out in a cheesy club - I'll be 27 weeks and fully intend to go! Taxi there and back, no booze and elbows at the ready.

Some people really do want to see pregnant women locked in their houses not moving for the duration of their pregnancy.

It's much better for the woman to keep moving around as much as possible within reason - active women have easier births afaik.

getagoldtoof no-one has used the word in this thread since it was commented upon already.

I should say it's not a term I usually use and I deliberated over saying that or disabled, I merely used the term the OP had used in direct response to her question "what about ...."

It must be against EU equalities law, surely? Surely? As for the disabled/with disabilities/handicapped - I am, and prefer disabled. I have an impairment (can't walk) but I am disabled by being made unable to get in the building by the stairs. With a lift, I am able to get in. Prob feel similar re 'handicapped', the handicap is the stairs, like a racehorse with weight added.

That's a very helpful way of putting it alice, makes perfect sense.

Firstly - I agree that it is ridiculous that someone get turned away from a club due to being pregnant.

However, as far as I can see it was just the bouncer saying it was because OP was pregnant... not some written rule or law.

The reason I raise this, is frequently (as in hundreds of times a weekend, up and down the country) people are turned away from clubs for wearing the 'wrong' shoes, having the wrong look, there being too many men in the club and they want more women, etc etc. They aren't the reasons given verbally by the doorman, it is usually a "not tonight" type response. So I would imagine that there is a good chance that the reason that OP was turned away from a club, was that it wouldn't project the image they wanted to have for their club (assuming it was some sort of hipster club!).

To reiterate - this is obviously bllshit. But similarly, being turned away because you aren't quite as pretty/handsome as some other people is bllshit. But it happens ALL THE TIME people!!!!

And I personally don't go to clubs that have door policies like this as I find it incredibly offensive. Why would I want to spend my hard earned cash at establishments who hold such views... OP if I were you I would vote with my feet - never go there again and spread the word about their insulting door policy.

Bars and clubs are private property and the owner has the right to refuse entry to anyone.

yes, it's ridiculous and wrong but they're well within their rights to do so. Let's face it, some bars refuse entry to people wearing trainers or caps so the reason can be pretty spurious. I'd be annoyed too though. My safety is my responsibility.

Constance, sure - I am a bit of a pedant when it comes to the use of terms around disability, which is my issue, sorry if I jumped down anyone's neck. It is rather outdated though, so I get shocked whenever I hear/read it.

getagoldtoof -

aliceliddell explained it very nicely for me upthread

I have to admit as much as I try I am a bit out of touch when it comes to acceptable terms to use, - I honestly didn't know until recently that 'coloured' was not an accepted term to use anymore. and that loon is a bit dodgy too.

Must read more on MN in the papers.

I think some prefer 'persn with a disability' because it emphasises the 'person' not the disability, but it's putting the whole issue on the individual, not their social situation. Then the problem is solved by curing the person, not changing the society. But some/most impairments cannot be 'cured' even if you want to; Down's syndrome? Arm amputated? So the 'social model' is more irritating because it costs money and inconveniences 'normal' people useful because it means things can be improved.

Firstly. Sorry, i started using handicapped. Hope I'm excused - I'm Swedish and sometimes make these mistake. No harm intended!

Not even going to look up the law as I wouldn't act on it, don't have the energy to report or sue or even talk to the owner. Was just stunned and felt belittled and judged. Am also stunned at some of you ladies here who think its acceptable to be denied entry because of pregnancy. Wow. If you don't want to go on the tube or go to public places, restaurants or clubs don't but to realise that you actually think its wrong to do these things is just amazing!

gallicgirl

"Bars and clubs are private property and the owner has the right to refuse entry to anyone.

yes, it's ridiculous and wrong but they're well within their rights to do so. Let's face it, some bars refuse entry to people wearing trainers or caps so the reason can be pretty spurious. I'd be annoyed too though. My safety is my responsibility."

I am afraid you may be wrong. No establishment can discriminate "no blacks", "no Irish", "no visibly pregnant" is out of order. Dress code is a different matter.

Blimey. That's ridiculous. Mind you, I wasn't allowed to climb up the tower at Sacre Coeur church in Paris when I was 26 weeks pregnant. However, I didn't really mind - I got to sit in the sun eating ice-cream waiting for my dh to come down.

Fair enough on your point about a blanket policy to ban black people etc but I'm really not sure about the pregnant thing. It's not a minority group prescribed in law and they're not banning women so it is possible they could get away with it. I'm not saying it's right by any stretch of the imagination but I don't think it's unlawful. I'm ready to be corrected though.

I have to say I would have been furious and would probably have emailed the management of the establishment the next day. I did throw a pregnant hissy fit at staff in Hammersmith Apollo when they wouldn't let me back to my seat after I went to the loo part way through a performance. Poor staff looked totally bewildered but only one had the initiative to find me a seat on the back row.

Well, I'm letting this go now. Will never again in my pregnancy get close to clubs or bars even if it's for a birthday or something important to a friend. Maybe I'm sensitive but I felt really judged and upset, like they thought I was a bad person for assuming I could go to a club with a baby onboard. Will probably feel conscious going into a pub late afternoon too after this...

They said it was the boss's order and due to health and safety. I don't think its about image as someone suggested.

Imo it has nothing to do with safety, and everything to do with the fact you are not currently a sexual commodity able to lure in men who'll spend money.

AlpinePony Unfortunately I think you might have hit the nail on the head.

Also, just to clarify AllyZ I never said I thought it was acceptable. Just that I thought it inevitable. At least you will only be pregnant for 9 months. Some people that don't have the 'right look' (not always linked to dress code) struggle to get in to certain places all the time. That must be horrible.

I can understand why you feel judged and insulted... but that seems to be the sole purpose for alot of door staff. I believe they are even that way in some restaurants but I can't afford to eat in those restaurants so have never witnessed it!

Also, I think gallicgirl is right - outside of outright racism etc I think all of these types of establishments have signage saying people are allowed entry at the discretion of the management. But as per my post above, if they are going to make ridiculous judgements about your shoes/age/face/current state of pregnancy why on earth would you want to go in there?

So yeah, it is really shitty. But please don't feel like it is a personal insult. Just some dipshit doorman/club manager. I'm sure you'd have much more fun in places without these idiots.

I have yet to be denied entry to burger king. (smug) ;) but seriously, I wouldn't queue up outside some fancy club, even if I weren't pregnant, I've got a hefty arse, cheap shoes, I'm 37 with the face only a mother could love. ;)