which surname do we use?

[cravingcake]

My other half and I are not married and have different surnames. I'm currently 31 weeks and we are planning on giving our baby my partners surname rather mine.

I've just today had a sudden panic/worry/thought (I'm blaming hormones as its really not rational ). Has anyone come across any problems with their newborn having a different name to theirs (like when going to doctor appointments or something)?

Neither of us are fans of hyphenated surnames and ours dont go together that well so thats not an option for us.

I got married 5 years ago but kept my maiden name. We're going to give our LO my DH's surname but I'm thinking of changing mine after the birth to his, so that we all 'match' ;-)

I would be interested in hearing from anyone else who did this and how their friends and family responded...

Do what you feel most comfortable with. I think if you get married you do need to do something legally to do with his parental rights though.

All our children have DP's surname, not mine.
Most of the official letters we receive say "To the Parents/Guardians of.....".
The teachers at their schools tend to greet people with "Hello soandso's mum" so there is no confusion there.
The only time it has been a slight issue was when we travelled back from Spain and we went through Passport Control seperately with 2 children each.
I was asked what my relationship was to the children at which point my youngest very indignantly and confusedly (sp.) said "But she's mummy!".

I've hyphenated my surname, with my own and DHs, as I am not willing to give up that part of my identity (the ILs were a bit funny at first, but have gotten used to it). And with the LO en route, she's having my surname as a middle name, and DHs as her own surname. We'll see if it's an issue or not, but I kinda hope that being in the 21st century it wont be

heatherwil I finally got round to changing my name some 18 years after getting married and 14 years after first DC was born. It made very little difference. I only did it because I was getting a new passport and it was either then or wait another 10 years.

You're not being irrational at all.

Why not use your name?

It's actually irrational that this is the first time you've thought of giving your child the same family name that you use.

We are married and I have not changed my name. We are ttc and at the moment the plan is for any sproglet to be Baby Hisname-Myname (works better than Myname-Hisname). He is not really a fan of hyphenated names but I do want my name carried on and I think he will accept hyphenated.

We're not married and even if we did get married I would not be changing my name. Our dc will have my surname as a middle name and dp's as a surname. The only reason we are doing it that way round is because it sounds better the his name followed by my name. When we talked about it dp had, to my surprise, assumed that the dc would take my surname as his is common as muck :o

Its very common these days for there to be more than one name in a family.
We're not married but dd has dp surname. We do plan on getting married at some point (sooner rather than later please dp!)
The only time it has ever been an issue was in the hospital after dd's birth. Dp had called the ward to check if I had everything I needed before he came into visit. The mw shouted over to me 'Mrs Shonnomanom, Mr Shonnomanom is on the phone, he wants to know if you need anything brought it.' TBH at the time I thought she was refering to my dad not dp. We all laughed about it afterwards.

On the other hand. When Dp was born he was given his fathers surname. Then when he was a toddler his mother married another man. No documents were filled to change Dp's surname legally but he became known as his stepfathers name. So all his school records etc had a different name from his birth certificate. When applying for drivers licence and passport etc he had to send away his birth cert with his mothers marriage certificate. It was a bit of a hassle of him at times.
He never legally changed his name until we went to register Dd 3years ago. But only after I had made a deal about Dd having to go through the same process he had and myself as well when we eventually get married.

Very long post. Sorry