Awkward..

[MummySunshine]

Hi all :)

I'm now at 10+4, and had my first booking in appointment with my Midwife today. My babys dad was working so couldn't come, so I took my mum along with me and found out how awkward it is having to explain any past sexually transmitted diseases you may have had infront of your mother!!! Yikes!!!

Just asking for a heads up I guess, will anything like this be happening again!! My babys dad works and studies so can't always make appointments, and I don't really fancy going on my own to most of them. My mum's very excited and I'm so glad she wants to be involved but pregnancy really is such a personal thing (and the questions they ask) and it makes us both embarassed.

Thanks in advance

x

Assuming you didn't reveal anything that requires follow-up, I doubt you'd be asked about that stuff again - I wasn't.

I'm surprised they didn't ask you alone though. I went to my booking appointment with DH and for part of it they took me to a separate room to ask about STDs, previous pregnancies etc. They said they always do that part with the woman one to one as they know some women may have things to say that their partner doesn't know about, and it's important to get full info.

I have been to all midwife appointments on my own. It never occurred to me to bring DH until I got to the booking in app and saw a dad coming out the room! DH has been to the scans though and enjoyed those.

They are a lot more routine after booking in if you aren't having any problems and only take 15 minutes. It will be more about whether your questions are embarrassing here in after which they may well be when you get to the piles stage!

Many MWs actively discourage partners from the routine MW appointments. DH came to 16wks one as we were hearing the heartbeat, but none of the others (so far). Partly this is to check the mother's mental health properly and to look for signs of domestic abuse. It's very common for either set of issues to start during pg.

Went to midwife alone, didn't see the need for dh to come tbh, scans different.

it has also never even crossed my mind to take anyone along with me.

OH has been to scans but i see no reason for him (or anyone else) to take time off work and sit for ages in waiting room, just to watch me have my BP taken and my wee checked, and get a few leaflets! and then when further along to be there while i lay on the table and midwife feels baby!

Im 37 weeks now and have seen my midwife every 3 weeks, and from observation the other pregnant people who have been seen before me have almost always gone in alone too.

The only exception was this week as i had my homebirth booking appt AT HOME, with my midwife who will be making a huge effort to attend my home birth if she can. I wanted OH to meet the midwife who hopefully it might be...

My booking appt and first scan were the same appt - they always are combined here, so DH was with me. He didn't come to the run of the mill pee sample, blood pressure, off you go appointments tho.

Gosh, never occured to me to take anyone else to booking in appointment. Do you usually take someone with you to routine medical appointments (non-pregnancy related), OP? Would make me feel about 6 I think! Still, each to their own, hope you manage to avoid any further embarrassment!

Hi MummySunshine - congratulations! :)

I havn't been asked any more embarassing questions since my booking appointment and I'm over 39 weeks now so don't worry.

DH has joined me on every appointment since and I didn't ever think he wouldn't join me (we made the baby together therefore want to discuss it with the midwife together) - he's been late a couple of times due to work but if he wouldn't have made it I would definitely have taken my Mum :) it's her first grandchild and I know she'd love to hear the heartbeat but luckily DH has made them all - she's just excited to meet baby now!

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea taking their partner/Mum - but if you feel supported by it (as I do) then go for it. Your baby, your way.

Enjoy!

Perhaps should have mentioned I'm 20 and still live at home and I'm not with baby's dad lol. But thanks for all the support and understanding anyway.. (jeez...)

MummyS my DH came with me to my first booking in, and in fact the letter confirming my appointment actually mentioned bringing a partner or friend with you - so I thought it was quite normal. Second time round I didn't take him as I knew it was a bit of a waste of time, but I totally understand why you did, and actually, the STD question and any other illnesses did floor me a bit. I wasn't taken aside and was a bit about the whole thing. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

I didn't take anyone with me to my booking in appointment, and I think I was a bit of an oddity as the midwife said to me "you are allowed to bring someone with you!".

I'm really open with my DH and my Mum so I think I would have been alright through all the questions, but I've got a bit of an independent streak I think!!

Good on you for taking your Mum OP - My Mum would probably have loved to have been asked (in hindsight).

My Dh hasnt been to any of mine and he didn't last time and I'm glad really.

At the 2nd appointment (is it 16-17 weeks?) they give you the results of any STI tests you had e.g. syphilis, HIV etc - just a heads up for that!

My DP was actively invited to the booking appt (because they wanted to know his medical history as much as mine) and he'll come to the scans, but not the routine MW appts. It was nice having him there for the booking, because he already has a DS, and asked a few good questions I wouldn't have thought of. I would have gone on my own otherwise- I won't be telling my mum about my pregnancy 'til I've had the scan & screening results back.