Would be grateful for a pep talk please, just found out I'm pregnant AGAIN (will be our second baby born within a year)

[Tinwe]

Hi, any positive words of wisdom would be gratefully received. We've just found out we're expecting another baby (not exactly sure of dates as hadn't had a period after our last baby).
Our first baby is now 4 months old and although she was a surprise is the light of our lives now). I'm still on maternity leave until new year. My husband is v unhappy about the new pregnancy as he's already worried about our finances (we moved house and got married within the last year) and wanted a rest after all the stress of the last year, but he is a good man and I know he will support me. I just feel so guilty - to him (as I foolishly read an article on using breastfeeding as conception which we believed), to our daughter who won't have the attention she deserves in her early months, even to my employers as I have only just negotiated reduced hours and a new workplace closer to home for my return from mat leave). On top of the guilt and feeling stupid for getting caught again (both times just one unprotected event lead to the pregnancy) the nausea is kicking in and was awful during my last pregnancy as well as SPD. We hadn't decided if we wanted more children but I was thinking not to as I wanted to spend all my time with my daughter.
I know we have been blessed, I have a friend who is possibly miscarrying a much wanted fertility drug made baby, this just makes me feel more guilty for feeling so badly about this.Thanks for reading this self centred moan, only my husband knows our news and in the middle of the night I don't want to stress him more with my worries.

I am I would love a small gap, my friend has less than 18 months between each of her siblings and as adults they are so close. It is wonderful, I think her youngest brother is just under three years younger than herself.

Fab I was shocked I was pregnant even though we had been trying for months!

Congratulations ! Do take heart. Everything will be fine! ...I found out I was pregnant with DD1 when my PFB DS was 4 months old. DD was born 12 months and 3 weeks after our son's birth, so they are very close in age. I was 38 at the time, and have since had a 3rd (DD) who is now 21 months.

The benefits more than outweigh any potential diffulties I find. The DCs are really close, play (mostly) together very well, like little chums, and you can use all the gear you had for the first baby and it will be current/as new.

You'll just need to ensure you get some rest. Breastfeeding is fine whilst pregnant too.

Your dh is probably in shock, but he will come around. I found my dh was shocked (as was I), but he rallied and I'm sure yours will too.

Do not fret about work. I got pregnant whilst on maternity leave and had 2 consecutive years maternity leave (with substantial benefits). I was the corporate hr manager. It happens. I did not feel guilty. I did consider going back and kept my options open, so should you. Most people at work thought it hugely hysterical at what they'd perceived as this 'sensible' career woman being caught out!

busybee1983

Yes, you will get lots of support here, but you will also get posters who will tell you the truth, this isn't a place where you will only ever hear what you want to hear.

MamaGool - thanks for the list, have read it to DH and will write it down to help me through times when I'm feeling rough (like today)! V worried about my weight though, I'm still about a stone and a half overweight and am worried about my SPD recurring with a vengance if I become even more overweight :(
4kids - good to hear of people choosing/prefering to have small gaps :)
Atilla - good name! Money is still our biggest worry but I suppose there'll be a lot less getting things in and out of the attic as we'll be using the same things for them both at the same time!
Busybee - congratulations! Is everyone adjusting to the news now? We are slowly getting. used to the idea, though we've lots of things to iron out.
Silver - I'm not sure what my financial entitlement will be re work... I work for the NHS and got a good maternity package but I'm not sure if I'll be entitled this time round with them being so close. Something about my earnings over the 8 weeks PRIOR to 15 weeks before my due date. I think that will only be SMP and therefore not enough to warrant me SMP again.
Sleepevader- thanks for the plus points and the reminder to think positively. It's my usual stance, just been feeling v low recently which I think may be due to the hormones. I mearly cried when someone lost money in a gameshow yesterday!
Bedhog - thanks for the congrats :)
Purplebuns - thanks for the ! I know that we're blessed really and am reminded of it every time my friend worries about losing her much wanted fertility baby. I'm really not sure when to tell her...
Busybee - I am sorry you met some unhelpful people on this thread (re "why are people shocked when they get pregnant after shagging"). Thanks to those who responded to those comments, I hope no one was too offended. I am equally bemused as them, only in my case it's as to why people feel the need to stir with pointless and slightly spiteful comments when someone in need asks for support. I thought my original thread title was clear enough so that only those genuinely interested need reply, I would have posted in Am I being Unreasonable if I'd wanted crudely worded opinions.

Hope you start feeling better soon. I bet you'll be all glowing & positive come the second trimester!

Congratulations to you too busybee!

Tinwe, you might like to look now at a gestational diabetes type diet if you are concerned about your weight but please don't do anything without asking your prenatal care person.

Thanks mamaGool, I'm sure I'll be more optimistic about the bean but I'll be dreading heading back to work for my final trimester!
Thanks maths, will ask my midwife about that when I see her. Good idea!