Scared about giving birth!

[pregnantmimi]

Hi Im 23 weeks up until last week or so been very calm about the whole giving birth situation looking into hypnobirthing and alternative therapies but this week I have become obsessed with it!

I feel quite scared and have thought about having a caesarian but tonight spoke to my sister in law who has had 2 and they sound even worse that giving birth.

I scared about the pain, if the babies going to be ok, what will happen, when it will happen!

I have heard so many horror stories about woman giving birth and being in lots of pain or baby getting stuck and starting to panic I have even started having trouble breathing when I think about it.

Saw midwife today she said that she doesnt deal with if Im having a caesarian or not.

I cant talk to husband about it cause hes in another country till november and hard to talk very often and my Mum has told me to stop obsessing and I will be fine cause she was.

Any advice or nice labour stories would be fabxx

HI only just getting back to this thread, Im keeping it to read properly when no one else here.

clarityMa thanks so much for your post, its full of useful constructive things that I can do. My appointment has come through for the specialist midwife and ive did read - first signs of labour thread and Im getting used to the idea of a possible VBAC - starting to muster a bit of self belief

I feel I need to get proactive about this rather than waiting for the next tearful outburts. I will definately be looking out for those books, my MW did give me details about local pg yoga which I plan to do when DS back at school and told me to look up hypnobirthing, she said I could get some stuff off ebay.

The other thing thats nudging me towards VBAC (as consultant said I could have elective section and that no one would force me to do anything I didnt want to do - which was such a relief) I am really going off the recovery time afterwards (I have had a section due to undiagnosed breach) and I have frequent soreness under bump which I think might be adhesions, im thinking any stitches near foof might be unpleasant etc but least it isnt adding to an already scarred area, any further adhesions from a second section could add to problems that become present when not pregnant IYSWIM.

I believe the more cs's you have the more potential complications but don't construct your next birth in the setting of fear. Read all about the amazing boost to one-self of self empowerment if one allows one self to go into labour naturally and unfold one self. When you are fearful....you are in internal knots. If one surrenders to all the scientifically proven self empowerment hormones that are gifted to a pregnant woman and allow yourself to get in touch with your own body wisdom.......you transform your former self........pregnancy can be enormously transformative because pregnant women are more emotionally porous and you don't have the usual emotional armour plating. Hence pregnant women crying more easily.....its normal. If you use all the birth preparation tools, you can shed the layers of anxiety and use the emotional openness to re-birth /re-invent yourself. Good luck m'dear x

I agree that having knowledge of the birthing process and what options are available to you is vital in mentally preparing yourself for the birth.
When having Dd I went to hospital thinking I would take each moment as it came. I had hired a Tens machine just incase I needed it. And whenever I felt I couldnt take anymore pain I would ask for what every my next option was.
This worked for me, and as most women have said already, you will surprise yourself.
Just remember that every push is one less push you have to do until you hold your baby. Best of luck to you x

Ps, my sister had to have a section and afterwards she said she felt cheated that she never had a 'normal birth'

Agree with everyone about having the knowledge of labour and birth. With my DD, I completely ignored everything that was associated with labour and birth because I was too scared. I just thought, "I'll know what to do when I have to deal with it". I was very very wrong. I didn't really have a nice labour!

I see it like a test or exam. You need to revise before you take it. So preparation is everything! This time I will book birthing classes, got books and will be practising breathing and teaching DH massages and other things to help me through labour.

Just read about every stage of labour as much as you can, and I really would recommend NHS and NCT classes to help you. If you know what to expect, you will be able to handle it better. Good luck!