Creating a simple cookbook for dh to follow when baby arrives- suggestions please!

[whizzyrocket]

Hey there,

As the title suggests I'm putting together a cookery book so that my husband has a few recipes he can follow to make easy nutritious meals for us when our baby arrives (due Nov)... he's a sweet intelligent chap but all his culinary knowledge has been picked up in the year we've been married so far.

So! What would you put in the book? Do you have any recipes you'd like to donate? What disasters should I advise him to avoid?

He knows to always use different boards and knives for veg and meat, can barbeque almost anything and can poach an egg, but he himself says that's about it! He cooked me a cake for my birthday (the first he'd ever baked) and managed to make a pyrex jug explode! Goodness knows!

whizzy I'm amazed by some of the harsh comments here. I accept the cynicism about it potentially being research, but I'm assuming its a genuine request. Call me naive .... I'm married to an army officer who for nearly 20 years until he married me hadn't had to lift a finger domestically as he's either been away or living in the mess. He too has tried really hard since we've been married but having lived off mess food/field rations doesn't really have a clue. He is constantly asking for help, so no, wouldnt feel patronised, a huge cookery book would completely turn him off as he doesnt have masses of time and is away a lot so not even at home to read but I know he would appreciate something like this and really wants to help when baby comes. I'll be giving him stew, soup and lasagne recipes which I think have been covered. Shepherds pie is also another easy one (mince browned, lobbed in dish with frozen peas and either lea and perrins sauce or a packet mix, mashed potato on top, browned in oven etc etc ....). Home made pizzas likewise - he can buy ready made bases and top them with whatever he feels like. I also know that when i was learning roast dinner was really easy - so maybe a roast chicken, masehd / boiled potatoes, veg and gravy recipe? Oh, and pasta with basic tomato sauce that can be varied? Hope that helps ....and when youre done please do share with us!

Likewise "helping when the baby arrives" it's like some 1970s sitcom ffs. Equal parenting, anyone?

Have a look at mydaddycooks (sorry if anyone else has suggested, don't have time to read all posts). Super simple, quick and well explained - he can even watch the videos on the blog while following the recipe book if necessary!! Congratulations & good luck with your new arrival.

''Likewise "helping when the baby arrives" it's like some 1970s sitcom ffs. Equal parenting, anyone?''

If their home set up works for them why knock it.

Fair enough. We'll just raise another generation of nonsense, shall we?

The two (maybe actually three but I only have the first two) Delia "How To Cook" books are great for proper basics, right down to how to roast a chicken or poach an egg. I had them when I first left home and they were a godsend as I only somehow only knew how to cook risotto, bolognaise or ratatouille despite having grown up in the kitchen with my parents being brilliant cooks and getting me and my brother both very involved. They are really useful books and don't assume you have a mandoline and a cupboard full of dried shaitake mushrooms and lime leaves at all times.

Thanks for that last comment garlic- that is exactly the problem- he has no prior knowledge and no experience. Thanks for all the suggestions of cook books too, although I would probably be shot for buying one at the mo (money is short and storage space is shorter!) so I thought that writing one with recipes we would both like, and that would be easy and quick to make would be a fair use of my time prior to young babe turning up. Norm's keen on the idea and really wants to learn so I don't think he considers it patronising... he seems to appreciate someone taking the time to de-mystify something he has never had any contact with.

He knows all sorts of things about computers that I would say are beyond me currently. It's not that they're difficult just that I've never had to do what he has and have no understanding of the fundamentals of computing- I can use a computer, just as he can eat what comes out of the kitchen, but I'd need instructions in order to know how to begin to do what he can. Is that a decent analogy?

And no, I'm not a researcher (although a researcher might say that too so it's up to you what you believe), I'm scrupulously honest so if I were researching I would explain what I wanted to achieve and ask for suggestions bluntly. What would the point of subterfuge be if I could ask candidly? And anyway, if I were writing my magnum opus it would be full of knitting patterns and I would be far too proud of my own creative genius to ask for suggestions!!

Thanks again guys, especially to those of you who gave me recipes or recipe ideas.

:o

If he's an abs

If he's an absolute novice, have you thought about getting a student cookbook? I've not used one myself but I know someone who did who said they were a real godsend and used no complicated instructions / terminology so might be worth a go. If money is tight then you can probably get one from your local library and they should have a service where you can photocopy what you fancy. The works is also a good bet for cheap cook books.

I come from a family of cookers (so different to your DH in that I knew what everything was iyswim) but I taught myself to cook (having been the definite cookery dunce of the family!) with a subscription to BBC good food magazine. They often have a simple weekday meal section so maybe a couple of issues of
that?

Slow cookers are awesome - bung it in and leave it and can do stew / curry etc and, as it does slowly, can use cheaper cuts of meat which is ideal when on maternity leave!

Your easier qu about fresh ginger - buy a bit of root, bung it in the freezer and grate it from frozen as required. It'll keep forever!

Oh, and it is worth investing in a table spoon if you really don't have one :o

Easier qu? Earlier qu!

I('d suggest sticking to a selection of old classics with variations. Ministry of food is a pretty good book as it does explain things quite well, or have a look at student cookbooks (as also aimed at beginners)

Mince/onion based recipes:
bolognaise
chilli con carne
meat & potato pie (suet crust ie like dumplings)
mince & onion plate pie (roll out ready done pastry)
Cottage/shepherd's pie

Fish:
Fish pie (along lines of cottage but chunks of fish/prawns etc in white sauce)
There's usually a good range in the frozen section too which makes it a bit more "beginner proof"

Once he's got the white sauce (or using from a jar of course):
lasagne
macaroni cheese/cauli cheese

Eggy things:
scrambled on toast
dippy with soldiers (you'll be allowed it again by then)
omelette

Stir fry and variations

Roasts really aren't that hard either once he gets into it

Sandwiches & salads (chop chop done)

Puddings:
Crumble
fruit salads
fruit pies (bought pastry again)
Ice cream and yoghurts may be your friends for a while, but not really a bad thing.

Or of course you could get some emergency rations in the freezer ready to just defrost and heat. Might be an idea to do a bit of that as well!

Season some chicken thighs and put them in an oven proof dish along with chopped basil, chilli, baby tomatoes and several cloves of garlic. Douse with a bit of olive oil and put in the oven for an hour and a half. Nice served with salad, new potatoes or chips, really tasty and couldn't be easier.

Big sigh. I thought we'd got past the "babying" accusations. I'm not being sexist or giving him an excuse to do nothing. I find it amazing that you can make such assumptions about our relationship based on the fact that he works and I don't and that he doesn't know how to cook. I'm a more staunch feminist than most people can claim to be but part of that has surely to be to recognise that men and women can take on different tasks or roles and be equally respected for their contribution?

I "keep house" because he works all hours to keep us in dubloons while I have been unable to find a job since I married him and moved with him to military quarters. Norm does his fair share- I'm not there doing his ironing every night and waiting on him hand and foot. Surely that he wants to take on more when our young bean makes his debut proves that he's not looking for an excuse to duck out of what used to be known as "women's work" and that he realises the value of what I do and will do in bringing up our son?

...And thanks jenniec- really good suggestions, I'll definitely be writing up pies and casseroles into the list. With stir-frys I cheat and use packets- useful five minute food! I'll write that up too though!

My recommended basic dishes are: how to roast a chicken, roast potatoes, make chicken soup, cook a stir-fry, make a vinaigrette, omelette, cook a steak, make a basic beef or lamb stew (or curry), how to mash potato, and cook rice and pasta. If you don't want to use disgusting bought pasta sauce then The Classic Pasta Cookbook by Giuliano Hazan (Dorling Kindersley) is excellent.

Other basic dinners that shouldn't require a lot of teaching are baked potatoes, sausages, grilled chops, salads etc.

The problem is if you teach too much his idea of cooking will be to come and ask you balls-aching questions on what to do every two minutes. My BIL does this to my sister.

As an RAF officer with computer skills your DH is obviously a practical man, so writing down simple recipes and getting a couple of basic books then saying: "Learn to use them, I did' is a better method. He will work out what to do pretty quickly, and be a more independent cook. That way, his cooking will genuinely free you to be doing other things.

My DH taught himself his first dishes by following the recipes for things like rice and peas and lamb curry he found on the back of tins of gungo peas and curry powder so he didn't have to keep going to the Caribbean takeaway. Seriously! Sounds daft, but it taught him the basic skills. The pasta book I recommended above is his, and he makes truly delicious meals from it.

Whizzy, he has presumably learnt to eat food during his time on earth, so he really shouldn't need you to fanny around after him with a bloody cookbook, is my point. He presumably has never cooked you a meal? And you thought this was OK?

Not so. Again, you're assuming that I wait on him. He cooked lunch today for example. But if I want him to be able to cook more than pizza or a fry-up I need to teach him.

He cooked chilli once and I frequently give him jobs to do while I cook, but when he did cook chilli he boiled the onions at the beginning because he thought it would be quicker and healthier than browning them in oil. It's that sort of ignorance that I need to combat.

Ok, I've said need twice there- perhaps want is more appropriate. Both he and I want him to learn, and if I'm happy to write some instructions, why should it bother those who have objected?

When you have a DC get them in the kitchen early and cooking. Don't know why his mother let him leave home without basic skills.

Id start with the basics as you have with the pasta and sauces, when he has mastered the pasta then move onto bacon and cheese pesto pasta etc. After that Id show him how to make a roast with mash and veg, he can then change these to things like cheese and potato pie, cottage pie, sausage veg and onion gravy etc. As mentioned above soups are easy to make and so many different options.

I understand why you want to help him, when I asked my DP to cook homemade burgers while I was at work once and he had to call his mum to find out how to make breadcrumbs, although its not that he cant cook its more than his mum limited his food intake to things she liked so just hadnt needed to know this before.

Oh also if you dont already think about getting a slow cooker that way he could bung it all in in the morning and come tea time everything is ready. My fav meal using a slow cooker is a gammon joint covered in mustard and cooked in orange juice to take away the saltyness, shove it with some veg and mash and it will feed you both for a couple of days.

Why can't he take the initiative and take responsibility for making sure he can cook when he needs to - so buying a cookbook, or looking up recipes/tutorials on the web, for example. Obviously he could ask you for opinions and advice and recommendations, as the more experienced cook in the household, but surely you shouldn't have to do all the thinking and forward planning and organising for him? He could even register on MN and ask for recipe ideas himself!

I've got nothing at all against the traditional husband-wife setup if that's what works for you. But even allowing for that, he sounds a bit helpless and ineffective...

You really don't need to create a simple cookbook for your dh to follow, there are a gazillion out there already. Delia would be a good start.

If he has no experience of cooking then it might help him more to cook with you now rather than present him with recipes later. Unless you go the Delia 'How To Boil An Egg' route. Doing basic stuff now like getting him to chop and prepare veg (which takes a hell of a lot longer when you're not used to using a knife) and boil it, gently brown onions and meat and make decent mash will make it easier when he's doing it on his own. It will also mean that you're around to stop any burn-the-house-down level cock ups. Like metal or non microwaveable plastic in the microwave. And stop him using metal untensils in non-stick pans.

I'd suggest Jamie's Ministry of Food or that approach anyway. It teaches you to make one thing and then shows you other ways to use/add to that. If you're due in November then casseroles and stews are a good way to go.

I agree with you exoticfruits and don't worry I intend to. His mother was just far too precious about her kitchen to countenance that he might need to make a mess in order to learn! She also doesn't cook much- it is reliably chicken, boiled potatoes and some veg. No butter, no gravy. I don't care about mess as long as it's wiped up afterwards.

And thanks sugarcane- good suggestions! I do something very similar with my ham- I cook it in the slow cooker and then glaze it in a marmalade and mustard mix. Tasty.

I also know what you mean about your dp. My own mother HATES pasta, so when I became a student I taught myself as it was never on the menu at home. Of course I was able to teach myself as I had basic culinary skills already.

buy a bulk load of pasta, frozen chicken bits, mince and sausages. and 100 jars of homepride they do everything he'll be sorted and i am that much of a lazy git its fantastic