Rant warning- Judgey cow in Asda

[SaffronCake]

I'm tired- I've got a 10 month old baby to run round after.
I'm broke- OH's business was hit by a natural disaster and the recession at the same time, right now benefits bridge the gap while he tries to get back on track.
I look awful- Because I'm changing my hair colour from darkened back to roughly it's natural shade. I've only done the pre-lightener so far, not the new colour, so I'm walking round a nasty shade of lightish, gingerish filthy-horse-bedding. Also because I have priorities, fashionable maternity clothing coming significantly below the bills, the faded stuff I was wearing is perfectly respectable.
And I'm 7 months pregnant- including SPD, excess weight gain (always happens, always goes again) and the resulting waddle.

So just occasionally I go for a cheap feed in the bloody Asda cafe so that baby and I can eat something I didn't have to cook, I wont have to wash up after and that wont neccessitate a scrubbed floor/ highchair/ room.

Underneath this I am an intelligent woman, who looks damn good in the right kind of frock (at normal size), who has very nice hair and whose children are dearly loved and no more or less worthy according to if they were planned or not and what gap there was or wasn't.

So I'd like to say this to the horrible judgemental cow with the little girl Helen and the baby Tamsin I met in the fucking cafe...

I understood every fucking nuance of your fucking forced language and every subtle ripple on your involontarily contorted face and I sincerely hope one day you feel as crap as you made me feel, while I was polite enough to pretend I hadn't noticed.

And what would she do in my position? If she was anything like a decent human being she'd care for the kids in spite of the pain on walking, let OH work all the hours God sends for next to nothing, start studying a degree just in case the business never pulls through, not waste what money there is on clothes when the others are still wearable and be grateful for a £4 bloody lasagne and no cleaning up every so often.

RARRRRRRRRRRR I hate people like that.

Ok, done, sorry.

Huh? What the hell happened?!

My baby was looking at her baby, so I struck up a conversation. She was visibly disgusted by the gap between my babies (she actually sneered). When she stood up and came over she was inspecting my hair, sizing up my weight, clothes and general appearance. She was obviously mentally noting me under some category she had thinly veilled disdain for and all the while speaking to me with a fake smile as if I would definately be too stupid to notice.

Should of nutted her confronted her. people like that piss me right off.

Im sure you look fine but regardless of how you look, you seem to have morals, values and human decency. Something this woman seems to be lacking.

Is it really SO awful to have 2 babies a year apart? Does this really brand me as some sort of creature? If it does I'm not going to appologise for it. My children are human beings and thier lives aren't trivial enough to be reduced to mere questions of convenience. Damned if I'll be made to feel they are. I think the hair/clothes/weight thing was simply to confirm to herself that I am indeed the scum she'd rated me at when realising I wasn't just fat.

Ignore it some people are just prats. Your doing the right thing by your family and Im sure you dont look as bad as you think you do, its awful when you dont feel your best, I often think people are looking at me thinking look at the size of her etc

Horrible cretin.

Some people are just so pathetic they have to judge people without having a clue about life!

Dont let shallow idiots get you down x

No of course its not a BAD THING to have babies a year apart. What a nasty bitch she sounds!

I got pregnant with DD3 when DD2 was 5 months old. There's 14.5 months between them. I also have an older DC who was 3 at the time.

This was during a period of difficulties I was facing financially, emotionally (relationship with shit) and trying to work full time whilst pregnant and caring for two small DC. On the plus side no3 was my best pregnancy by far, but I was still exhausted.

She has no idea of your life or who you are, but most people are genuine and warm hearted and I generally only attracted surprise and respect for my situation and I'm sure its the same for you, other than one twunty arse who I hope had a dodgy meal in Asda and is now suffering the full consequences!

I have twins and a younger sib who are less than 2 years apart. I would have been furious. As for the checking you out, she should have seen me after youngest was born. Washed out,knackered and often going out without remembering yesterdays make up was still partially visable on my face!! Brush it aside, you have better things to do. She, clearly, hasn't!

I was out with my DS and Nephew today. They are 5 months apart and look nothing alike. The number of bitches inquisitive people who asked if they were Brothers was very annoying.

The " who looks damn good in the right kind of frock (at normal size)," annoyed me somewhat though. Implies that people slightly over a 'normal size' doesn't look OK in a good frock.

Happy to apply own image issues to that statement thugh.

Oh no, not at all, I'm sorry if it sounded like that. I meant I personally look good at my own normal size and that I only have very basic clothes for the sizes between my normal size and my post-baby size. Between conception and a week after baby is born I'll have gained half my weight again. By the time baby is 9 months old I will have lost it again. It always happens like that for me (this is pregnancy no.5, I have 2 DD's and I had 2 MC's before this).

Sorry... I'm having a touchy evening. As you were

Oh you should've been mean, sometimes it is deservered - one might also question that she was "projecting" given that "Tamsin" & "Helen" are more Waitrose than Asda, non?

I hope you're feeling more chipper today anyway.

Hi Saffron, hope you feeling better today.....Unfortunately there are some right old bitchy mums out there. I had one walk nearly into me yesterday swishing her long blonde hair about in her heels and short dress with her daughter at her side. (I'm 7 months pregnnt too with a 22 month old)
Then there are the ones who like to watch you squeeze into the tiniest space while they watch without moving out of the way. Then there are the morons who nearly run you over while crossing the road..............Gah....

When I moved here (I'm 'forrin') I had to get used to the weird English middle class 'extreme obnoxiousness concealed under a thin layer of politeness' thing (no offence...every country has its quirks). Being Irish and blunt I call them on it. They always back down and are then grovelling apologetic. Its a really weird behaviour pattern.