Hi sunchild. I have alot of sympathy with you, as I have had similar experiences with DD1 and DD2. With DD1 I wanted a home waterbirth, ended up with a 3 day failed induction and an EMCS where the epidural failed part way through. It took me over a year to recover from the trauma and sense of failure. With DD2 I wanted a VBAC, found a VBAC friendly hospital, employed a Doula, and had 6 or 7 membrane sweeps from 37 weeks onwards. I went into early labour which lasted 2 days, went in for monitoring where there were problems with DD2's heartbeat, and ended up with another EMCS. DD2 had the cord round her neck, but was fine once delivered. Strangely DD2's birth helped me get over any remaining feelings of failure, as I felt I'd made the right decision to have the EMCS (I was offered syntocinon or EMCS). When they got DD2 out, the mw said it was a good job I had chosen to go ahead with the op! With each birth I only got to 2-3cm dilated.
I had a mc a few weeks ago, and again ended up in surgery, as my cervix did not dilate adequately once again. I am now trying again to get pg with no.3, and will definitely request an ELCS next time.
What happened with both my births was very hard and traumatic, and possibly dangerous in the case of DD2. I also think my cervix is incapable of opening!!! I would expect any health care professional to be able to look at my history, and see that despite my best efforts, vaginal birth has not worked in the past, and that I would like my wishes to be respected to have a CS, and hopefully a less traumatic start to my bond with DD3. No-one could persuade me that my desire to have an ELCS is paranoia (especially where fetal distress has been a factor), so just don't accept it if they try!
The chances are that they will support your decision - I have been told by one of our mws that our nearest hospital (where I chose NOT to go for DD2) will not accept you for a VBAC under any circumstances if you have had 2 previous CSs, (which I think is a pretty shocking policy BTW)!!! I think it is more likely they would try to persuade you away from CS if you were on your first pg and afraid of giving birth, or if you had one CS, no other health issues, and they were a pro-VBAC hospital. If they are very pro-VBAC, they may mention the idea as an option, but just refuse - say you have thought it through and tell them what you want instead.
Make sure they are acquainted with your experiences, and insist that a CS would be best for you and the baby given your history. I know it is hard with some consultants, but stick to your guns, and don't agree to anything you aren't comfortable with.
You could check out the NICE guidelines for CS
www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/10940/29334/29334.pdf
which gives guidance about who should be offered CS, and when it should be discouraged. I think it should make reassuring reading, having had a quick flick through it.
Good luck, hope it goes well for you!