antenatal depression?

[lisalisa]

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Lisalisa, you should check out a site of a regular poster here who has/is experiencing antenatal depression: Rhubarb's site . I hope it's not out of line for me to offer that to you and am sure that when she sees your post she'll jump in and offer some good advice. In the meantime, you can email her from an address at that site. She's an intelligent and well spoken woman and it's obvious from her posts that it happens to the very best of mothers.

Lisa lisa.... how sad to feel so down at this time. It CAN happen though
I am no expert but you may well not have POSTNATAL depression though.... and certainly BOTH can be tackled with drugs if that is what is needed.
You do not have to suffer in silence.
As you are already spending your money on an au pair.... I dare not suggest a doula..... but we work with women who have or are suffering from depression and generally it does help. As we are all mothers ourselves we know quite well what would help YOU.... I mean homework, laundry, clean beds, decent meals - and appropriate shopping - ....) just a thought.

Please get some help.... it is not "normal" to cry every day and to feel this negative. You DO sound depressed......

Post back here - we 're good to cheer people up (most of the time)

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Lisalisa, she is a doula. Her site is here and rumour has it she's very nice. If she doesn't reply now (ie, if she's gone offline), while you're at the cafe, you should email her at the address given on the site.

My thoughts are with you.

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You should also try emailing Rhubarb. She'd be a lot of help. And realize that for good ol' advice, Pupuce is free here.

I hope you feel better. I know you're a good parent and we all have our up and down days. That's not to say that that recent days haven't sucked for you. As I'm an "open mouth insert foot" type of person, I'm just going to try and point you in the direction of people who might actually help.

But really, I remember you. You're a good mum. It's hard, but you will find a way through this.

lisalisa.... sorry I was off line
Thanks JJ - most impress with your awareness of me
All doulas do not cost £13. Most of us start at £10...if this sounds expensive based on your means

1. You can negociate
2. IME we do far more and far better than early 20s sort of girls IYKWIM.... I mean we are all experienecd mums... you don't need to tell us how and what to do UNLESS you want to of course
3. You can get her to only come twice a week for 3 hours. I am always amazed at what I can achieve in that time ! We are VERY flexible in the hours we do.... however we get booked early

BTW I was NOT advertising my personal services.... just raising awareness of a service that does help women with PND.

lisalisa just to say i felt exactly like you with dd but i was fine after her birth,take care
whymummy xx

Bugger I missed this! Lisalisa, hope you come back to read this from time to time. I am 32/33? weeks pregnant and am suffering badly from depression. I have mood swings which alternate from violent rages when I scream, rage, break things, try to hurt myself, to just wanting everyone to go away and leave me alone. I'm also trying to get through this without the aid of drugs. I worry about the effect all of this is having on my dd, and my relationship with dh has been strained to breaking point, but we are still together and hanging on in there!
JJ gave you the link for my site, in there I'm keeping a pregnancy diary which you might find helpful. You know, depression during pregnancy is incredibly common, it's just not talked about. If more women were treated during pregnancy, then rates for PND would be drastically reduced too. Have a word with your GP and midwife, tell them what's going on. They've probably come across it before. You can get access to a community psychiatric nurse who will support you during the rest of the pregnancy and just help you to deal with your emotions. Believe me you are not alone with this, there are other mums on here who've experienced negative emotions during their pregnancies.
Please email me at any time on [email protected], although don't feel that you have to. Sometimes it can me weeks before I feel up to talking to someone else about it. Sometimes I just don't want to talk at all.
Please let me know how you are. I'm sorry I missed this thread first time round. You WILL get through it, just remember the good days, write them down, so what when you do have a bad day, you know that those good days were possible then and still are now. The feelings do not last forever, neither does the pregnancy. Your kids and partner will survive, 9 months is not a lifetime and they probably won't even remember it! But I can wholly sympathise with you and I really do know how you feel. My thoughts are with you. Take care.