Not broody, not pregnant but feel time is running out.

[mareish]

I have previously posted this in a different topic but wondered if there was any more advice from a different perspective.
My OH is broody, never pushy about it though & the thought of a mini him makes me smile but I have no strong feelings other than to have a child for him hoping that I'll go all maternal!
Time is ticking, I'm 35 but not sure on starting a family. It's not that I dislike babies, I just have no longing for my own. Is that unusual?
Has anyone else felt like this & if so what did you do?

I think it's a case of separating broodiness from wanting a family.

I didn't feel at all broody, disliked babies/children, and also found some people with children intensely boring. I also liked my life the way it was. But a few women I worked with my age were having fertility issues, which got me thinking. We made a decision, we didn't feel a burning need for a baby, but did want a family of our own. I wanted my own family to experience life with, have Christmas with etc etc. I have 2 dd now, and although it can be boring sometimes looking after young children, it was the best decision we ever made.

On the other hand, if having children is not for you, that is just as valid a choice as the other. Fulfillment in life comes in more than just one way. Best of luck.

Many thanks to you all!
I have been thinking that there is something not complete, that there could be more to life, I was thinking of another dog but now....
Oh yes Xmas! There are no children in my close family (the youngest is mid 20's) I had been thinking that there was no "magic" & it's just another day! Maybe - back there in the cobwebs of my mind I am just starting to pull out some strange emotions
All I know is, it is helping to read everyone's replies as this is drawing out long forgotten, brief thoughts that are filling my pro's & con's list my doctor said may help.

She also suggested I go to Relate - what do you think?

Hiya, I think it's perfectly normal to not be very maternal. I'm 25wks pregnant and still feel indifferent when I see other peoples babies, and am terrified when someone offers their little darling to hold! Although I am excited about having my own (combined with being extremely anxious and a bit scared).

I think it's about deciding whether you'll regret not having kids in the long run (which is very difficult to answer without hindsight, I know). That's basically what DH and I concluded. I was advised in my early 20s that I shouldn't have kids beyond my mid-30s due to health problems. At the time I wasn't fussed in the slightest, I was single, fancy free, having too much fun and was never interested in children - I'd already decided I wasn't having any. Then I met the now DH, and I started to have second thoughts. Being 31 (and DH rapidly approaching the 40 mark - he didn't want to be an 'older dad'), we decided it was now or never.

Re being 'too old', a family friend just had her second at 47 and they're both absolutely fine and had no complications. Though it depends on whether you're bothered on being an 'older mum' (if it wasn't for my health problems I would probably have held off for another 5-6 years). Perhaps talking to Relate might be a good idea, it might help you focus more clearly on what you want, and what both you and your DH want together. But, importantly, don't feel pressurized into something that you know you really don't want - as it will be for the rest of your life.

Good luck, and I hope you make the right decision for you - whatever that maybe :) xx

stripeymummy is spot on with everything

I still feel indifferent when I see other peoples babies, and am terrified when someone offers their little darling to hold me too... in fact I had to mute BBC Breakfast yesterday because there was a child grizzling on it and it irritated me that I couldn't hear the presenters , also I have to mute that advert for formula with the babies laughing and the "do I look like my tummy is upset?" text.... that's how unmaternal I am. I'm sure with your own it's different!

sometimes life would be a lot simpler for me if I didn't over-analyse things so much, and it seems like that's the case for a lot of us here

Oh HP I did that too, that little girl was vocal!
I'm hoping that this thread might be reassuring to those that have "taken the plunge" recently, I am finding that I'm warming up to the idea now I know that others have felt the same way & I am not so alone.

I have never been worried by any part of pregnancy or birth, just the maternal feeling afterwards. It's not like you can find them another home, is it?
When did you tell people & what was their reaction?
Not that it should matter but I can imagine some people are very surprised & say things that are thoughtless. Some of my friends & family would not take it seriously that I'm even thinking of babies.
"Over-analyse" - hmm I've heard that in my assessment at work before now, me thinks I need to grow up & get on with things, I know I'm capable of most consequences but I spend a lot of time faffing "looking before I leap"