I am going mad

[emsylou]

I am in the early stages of pregnancy, only 5 weeks and this is my third pregnancy. I have two lovely children aged 10 and 13. I have been feeling completely and utterly mental, irrational, feeling violent towards my partner and some of my friends, however completely cool and calm with others. I do not reecognise myself at the moment...I am paranoid, making problems where there arent any. I almost feel that i want to hide away from the world. I did not have these feelings at all during my last pregnancies. I am interested to hear others experiences. I am 36 years old...is this due to my age? I am very happy to be pregnant but really not happy with my intolerance and irrational behaviour. Any advice, shared experiences would be greatly appreciated mumsnetters.

Poor you! I doubt if it's due to your age, you just sound really hormonal. Have you talked to your partner about it? Or maybe it's even worth mentioning to your midwife/doctor?

I have had moments like this where I really wanted to strangle DH over nothing. (I am 38 btw). Sometimes I just feel like screaming 'get out of the house and leave me in peace!' and then the next minute I am thinking how great he is and how much I love him. So you are definitely not alone, although the mood swings do sound a bit more extreme in your case.

I'd say the chances are that you are feeling like this because your body is going through a lot of changes at the moment and things will calm down in the second trimester.

Hey emsy,
I feel exsactly the same although Iam 22 and this is my first. I sometimes scare myself with what Iam turning into, its just not me at all. I'll have about 5 good days in a row and then something really tiny will set me off. Its quite shocking really. I used to get emotional and teary around the time of my period but thats absolutely nothing compared to what pregnancy has thrown at me! Iam 20 weeks and was hoping it was getting better but it doesnt seem to be calming down.
Iam sure your partner and friends understand that its not in your character to behave like your doing, if you find it difficult to explain how your feeling maybe try writing your partner a letter? I did the same after mine just thought I had completely lost the plot, putting it down in words helped me to make sense of the situation and also its something he can pick up and read again when Iam having one of my 'moments'
But yep, its not at all fun- I think I would rather have a physical symptom I could control rather than hormonal and emotional one like this.
I hope your feeling a bit better
xox

Hi emsy. I got a bit crazy round the 5 month mark with both my DDs. If I felt anything was threatening me, I went really aggressive and shouty - even chased some teenage boys down the road for a proper bollocking because they threw a drink can into my garden and nearly hit me. I made a right scene, and loads of the neighbours came out of their houses to watch!!!! We'd only just moved here too, and I think some of them are still avoiding me... I'm normally much more passive aggressive!!!!

I think it definitely sounds like hormones at their dastardly work - poor you. As you probably experienced in your other pregnancies, some of the hormonal stuff changes and levels out as you go on, e.g. with morning sickness, so perhaps with this being early on, you might not be stuck with it for too long. If it really worries you and isn't getting better, maybe talk to your midwife or GP though.

Good luck with it, and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Thankyou so much...all of you! I have decided to try and stop beating myself up about how I am at the moment and accept that this is how is and observe the process. Hopefully friends and loved ones will understand. Good luck to you beautiful women and thanx again.

really sorry to hear you've been feeling like that, but also reassuring to hear i'm not the only one! this is my second pregnancy, and it's only now i'm 20 weeks that i have stopped feeling paranoid, worrying over nothing (ie, have been distraught that my DD has lost her new cardigan at nursery?!), tearful and generally stressed. i was getting quite cross with myself and started worrying then that i wasn't enjoying my pregnancy and got stressed about that too!
but in the last week or so I feel a cloud has been lifted a bit, and am starting to feel positive again, and generally happier.. so i'm hoping it's just hormones and has passed now..
it's nice to know that i'm not the only person in the world feeling like this, and hope you feel better soon.

I'm 7+2 and I've been an awful, horrible person for the last few weeks. I normally wouldn't say boo to a goose but I'm having to make excuses not to talk to anyone but DP because everyone else is irritating the hell out of me! Facebook is a no go area because I've found myself writing sarcastic remarks on people's status updates (not sent any yet, thank goodness!), and don't even get me start on this News of the World thing. I've become OBSESSED with it. Poor DP is coming home each evening to hours of me ranting about Rebekah Brooks, Coulson, etc. You'd think I'd been hacked myself!
Hoping these hormones settle soon. I don't like this new bitchy me!

Hello Emsy. I am 27 and 8+2 with my 2nd child, the first DD is 5 years old. We cant tell anyone yet as I am a high risk pregnancy and already my blood pressure is shite i am under the care of a consultant for renal problems. I have convinced myself of a number of crazy things:

1. The baby will nt survive, and possibly neither will I.
2. DP doesnt want the baby.
3. I dont want the baby (despite trying for 2 years!)
4. Nobody will be nice when we announce the pregnancy
5. DD will hate the baby.
6. My friends and family just dont care (even though none of them know our news!
7. I ill never get my house in order and it will be a hovel for when the baby arrives.
8. Work will fire me.

So you see how crazy it is! I think everyone has major wobbles at some point, Im just hoping mine will fade soon. Big hugs xxx

mummymccar, I smiled reading your remark about facebook...I have deleted my facebook account because I was getting so wound up by it lol. So basically we are all going to be a bunch of nutters for a while, hopefully not the whole nine months else I might be lone parenting by then. Today I can laugh, this is good.
Changing2011, you have lots do deal with physically, wishing you luck for the coming months. No doubt we will talk again...thanx for sharing xxxxx

Hey emsy I'm sure you've also discovered you are definately not alone! Just remember that with all things that wind you up there are funny things that happen to!! I've always had pride in my memory and common sense. Now, at 7+3, I have made DP a cup of tea, put it in the fridge and given him the bottle of milk. I can barely string a sentence together and have, on 2 occasions, forgotten what my name is!! I'm trying to embrace the new angry me as there is no other time I would ever get away with it....sure DP has commented that he prefered me when I wasn't pregnant but he finds it amusing too and in a wee while you will look back and laugh about it