never knew people were so judgy about elecs - the looks I got!

[PrincessScrumpy]

We went on a tour of our hospital today with about 8 other couples. I mentioned privately to the midwife doing the tour that I was due to have a CS.

When in the delivery room she did the usual stuff then said "now you've chosen to have a CS - is there anybody else?" The answer was no but dh and I found the looks we got from the others really surprising. The mw was obviously aware as when she took us to theatre to show us where it was she made a point of asking where the twin mum was (me) and suddenly people were much nicer and started talking to me.

I thought it was just me being sensitive but it was dh who actually commented as we left the hospital.

I felt like shouting "I've had a natural birth with dd1 and had only 15 mins of gas and air - I have chosen a cs but only as it is based on medical advice from a consultant!"

Sorry for long one - it just really shocked me as they didn't know any details so why give scolding looks? Has anyone else faced this?

TBH I found it all very amusing as I am more than happy with the plan and my babies are far more important than a load of judgy mums who I've never met before.

[buttonmoon78]

Sounds like I could be justifying my own c-section just shortly.

Just been to MW, baby is absolutely centrally engaged. OP. I am terrified of another OP delivery (having done it twice - last time knackered my back for ever). My lovely (v pro-natural birth) MW has just arranged an appointment with the lovely (v pro-section) obs for Thursday pm to see about changing my induction date (Fri 15th) to a section.

I am so relieved I feel about 6" taller from the weight lifting off my shoulders

[Booboostoo]

I've been getting the same reactions, but it's very much a cultural issue. I chose ELCS (because I wanted to because I thought it was the best option for me and my baby), in Greence where I gave birth no one batted an eye-lid, plenty of women choose CS there and plenty of doctors oblige them. In France they start of by commiserating with me on the CS, when I point out I chose it and thought it was the best experience ever, they all point out that I wouldn't get that choice in France looking very sour faced indeed - good to know, that's why I went elsewhere! Vive la EU!

[buttonmoon78]

Good job you've already had it done Booboostoo. After all, I'd be worried now that the lights would go off half way through, being as they've run out of money to pay the bills

Congrats anyway - I assume that was quite recent?

[KaraJS]

Thingsabeachanging who said anything about the cost of vdelivery compared to csection? I said they don't have enough theatre space or staff to cope with demand, and my first baby was 11lb2 and caused a 3rd degree tear so no it wouldn't have scared me, my second baby was smaller tho and I didn't need stitching so things don't always follow down the same track

[thingsabeachanging]

Lack of space and theatre nurses is all about funding. More money means more space and more theatre nurses.

My point being if maternity units were properly funded to start with it wouldnt be an issue, AND it would probably work out cheaper in the long run.

Women get a choice, they get proper treatment, less goes wrong and the costs are comparible or even less. Everyone would be a winner dont you think?

[thingsabeachanging]

Oh and on a side note the fact that I had an epesiotomy, a third degree tear and so many other tears my fanjo looked like a clock face are NOT factors in my wanting a cs for any future deliveries. I am scared of losing my baby!

[KaraJS]

Yes but it won't happen will it, that's why NICE and WHO have bought out new guidelines to help encourage and support women to have v births there not going to just give more money for funding more theatres and staff and like the mw said at the hospital I went to at some point women and babies will suffer because of it

[thingsabeachanging]

You are aguing for change, why not argue for the right thing. And as far as I am concerned women and children are already suffering for it.

[KaraJS]

And even after going to theatre to have my bits sewn back together and only being able to wee on all fores in the bath for the first two weeks I still recovered quicker than with my emcs tho I'm hoping this was because they cut me from hip to hip and also due to the hospital infection I caught! I'm hopeing this time it will be a normal length cut and recovery time will be faster, but I'm not going to hold my breath

[thingsabeachanging]

I had cluster contractions for 18 hours in a holding area without so much as a whiff of g&a because the hospital had run out. thankfully when they eventually did find me a room they blissfully got me an epidural too becuase i was exhausted and not dialating as quickly as they would have liked so I had to have synto too. That was nothing to do with cs rates it was about piss poor funding.

[buttonmoon78]

Kara have you read the new NICE draft guidelines? They suggest that much more emphasis should be placed on a woman's choice disregarding medical reasons.

[Booboostoo]

buttonmoon78 LOL! It was 5 weeks ago and luckily during the day time so no "bring your own torch" needed!

In general, I find the arguments against personal choice ELCS to be rather poor:

• "It's unnatural": so is most of medicine. Nature hurts, maims and kills.
  

• "It's costly": aside from the private option if you weigh the cost of an unproblematic ELCS against the cost of looking after even one oxygen deprived, brain damaged baby whose problems were caused by forceps for example for the rest of its life, ELCS is incredibly cheap.
  

• "It's risky": only when you lump emergency and elective CS together. If you do not the risks seems to go: uncomplicated natural, ELCS, EMCS, complicated natural.
  

• "It's indulgent": mmm, who said labour must be unpleasant???
  

• "Why should you have a choice over this?": Why should you have any medical choices? Those of us unfortunate enough to have breast cancer, for example, at least get a choice between a full mastectomy, a lumpectomy or even no treatment, why should pregnant women not be allowed to choose between the options available? And in the case of pregnancy denying one option implies that you force the woman into another option as backing out of the whole pregnancy (i.e.inaction) is no longer available, i.e. by denying CS you force into VB.

[lolajane2009]

I really think an elcs for a good reason is a lifesaver, literally in some cases.

My mother had an emergency cs at 32 weeks in 1971 for my husband as she had blood pressure issues and if she hadn't they both probably would have died. Two years later she had my husbands brothers and if she had waited for a normal delievey both her and my brother in law would have definately died.

I have been told by her that she was told after my husbands birth that she never really gave birth because she had a cs so the judgement is nothing new.

[buttonmoon78]

And in those days there was no legion of MN buddies saying 'oh yes you did'. It's really sad that as a group of women we can become so polarised about something so fundamentally natural - procreation.

You'd think as it's only women that do it we'd stick together but no, as often happens with humans, we end up tearing eachother apart and leaving the other person feeling hurt.

V