Having a CVS done today and i just keep thinking about my baby

[halohasslipped]

This is the second CVS in 14 months. My DS is fine (8 m.o.) but had a 50:50 chance after his NT scan. This baby has 1 in 22. It's so much harder this time as i can visualise a baby. I look at my gorgeous (aren't they all!) son and feel so conflicted. I'm not sure i want the rest of my life to be defined by having a disabled baby so am risking losing a healthy one. Also, our family would be a lovely family to come into. I just feel so utterly selfish but if we have a terrible anomaly scan at 20 weeks i can't go through with a termination then. I need to do this for options but feel so very, very sad.

Don't beat yourself up about it, you are doing the right thing, the risk of miscarriage really is very low, I know they say one in 100 but I have been extensively researching and have only found 3 cases so far in the world, I am sure there must be more but you see what I mean. And remember the odds of your baby being absolutely fine are stacked highly in your favour 21 to 1!! Best of luck x