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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Would it be weird to take DH to midwife appointment?

24 replies

KatieWatie · 20/06/2011 11:00

I have my 25wk appt today. DH was really gutted to miss the heartbeat and all the stuff going on at the 16wk one, and I was gutted on his behalf.

Do you think it would be ok to take him this afternoon, or would they look at me like ?

Do you take your partners?

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SleepySuzy · 20/06/2011 11:01

Mine came to every appt with me. He was so excited. Midwives are used to this.

Debs75 · 20/06/2011 11:04

Take him, DP came to all of mine with dc1 and quite a few with dc2,3 and 4

Secondtimelucky · 20/06/2011 11:05

There probably won't be much that's exciting apart from hearing the heartbeat, but DH came along with me a couple of times to hear it. It's nice, I don't think it's weird. I would say about 1/3 of the women in the waiting room had husbands/partners with them at my various appointments over 2 pregnancies.

ThePieSmuggler · 20/06/2011 11:07

Not weird at all, my DP came to those that he could, I'm sure the midwives are used to it!

lolajane2009 · 20/06/2011 11:08

mine has come to all but one and he only missed that one because he was at work.

buttonmoon78 · 20/06/2011 11:09

Not weird at all - nice!

DH was gutted to miss 20wk scan. He's not managed to make any appts since, but has booked my 36wk presentation scan and consultants appt into his diary in red ink!

Original poster

KatieWatie · 20/06/2011 11:09

Thanks all, good to know. He is going to tag along if he gets finished at work in time :o

OP posts:

roz1982 · 20/06/2011 11:09

I agree with above - if he is able to go definitely take him, if my husb could he'd come to them all he's much giddier than me about it!

NatzCNL · 20/06/2011 11:10

Another one here who had DP at every MW appt with DD1! He loves them and now on DC3 he comes to the ones he can work permitting.

nunnie · 20/06/2011 11:11

Not at all if he wants to come and you want him there then take him.

My DH doesn't get paid for time off so we decided he wouldn't come to Consultant appointments or midwife appointments, only comes to scans.

Quite a few at the CMW go with partners. And I am in the minority at Consultant appointments, there does seem to be more partners than not.

Snusmumriken · 20/06/2011 11:12

Bring him if he wants to go and you are happy to have him!

My DH has never missed an appointment. After all, we are having a baby and we feel it is only natural for him to partake in the care I am receiving.

Our midwives opinion about his attendance matter less to me, but I am sure she is happy that I have his support.

Original poster

KatieWatie · 20/06/2011 11:23

I was just a bit worried about flashbacks to a Primary School "mums and daughters" evening we had where they gave us the talk about periods. My friend Sal turned up with her mum AND dad, cue lots of girls (and mothers ) sniggering about his presence.

I know this is totally different!

OP posts:

Nicplus1and1baking · 20/06/2011 11:27

My DH came to everything with DD1 and now DH and DD1 come to everything
I would say wierd if he didnt want to get involved tbh, its as much about him as it is you

nunnie · 20/06/2011 11:28

I don't think there is anything that is too embarrassing. However I discuss all my issues with DH I like him to share the experience, so he knows about my piles, farts, cervical mucous, thrush.

I don't think my DH would be easily shocked now if he did attend them

superjobeespecs · 20/06/2011 11:28

my OH came to all our appts but has missed a couple due to work and he hated missing them :( poor sod he is :) men generally seem to enjoy being involved my best mates OH knew more about her pregnancy and piles symptoms than she did

megapixels · 20/06/2011 11:29

Of course it's ok to take him. DH came to every single appointment with our eldest. Interest petered out with the next baby but he came for all the scans :).

babysaurus · 20/06/2011 11:46

Sorry to hijack, but can I ask - if you have not had your scan yet (am 10+4 and scan not till 4th July) does anything exciting / interesting happen at midwives appts? Have had booking in already and am due to go again tomorrow but not sure what for! After reading this, am wondering if I take DH after all!

nunnie · 20/06/2011 11:51

Depends on midwife and area.
Here bloods are taken and urine is checked, and general chat. Here they won't listen for heartbeat before 18 weeks, hospital do it at 16 weeks but say they can't gurantee they will be able to get it.

Secondtimelucky · 20/06/2011 11:53

You have had a booking appointment and have another midwife appointment before the 12 week scan? That's quite unusual I think, so I'm not sure if you have complications that mean extra stuff is being done for you (or just more comprehensive midwife care than blooming London!).

All that happens in routine early appts is urine, blood pressure and listen to heart beat (probably not possible as early as you are). Bloods are taken twice, once at first appt and once later on (can't remember the weeks). TBH, unless your DH is keen to go, or you're keen to have him, I'd have him come to the scan and then wait until there's a heartbeat to listen to to come along to appointments.

iskra · 20/06/2011 11:56

Babysaurus - depends on your definition of interesting! If you are not yet 12 weeks & you have already had your booking in appointment, your appt tomorrow is not going to have much in it, from my experience. Too early to listen to the heartbeat. They will check your urine & your blood pressure & ask you if you are sleeping okay. I wouldn't bother taking him unless he's going to be a loose end.

iskra · 20/06/2011 11:57

Second lot of bloods around 26 weeks - just had mine. Started measuring fundal height at my 27 week appt too. Exciting times with the tape measure...

superjobeespecs · 20/06/2011 11:58

i had a midwife appt at 8 weeks a wee hi how are you also had height and weight taken then 12 week scan then booking appt where family med history was taken and more blood than i think ive ever seen in my life. then 20 week scan not back at midwife till 24 weeks but im PG with 2nd and we get less attention than prims not that i mind to be honest i know everythings fine with bub and they are there if i need them.

gallicgirl · 20/06/2011 12:05

My DP came to scans with me but not CMW appointments because of work. They're pretty dull anyway apart from listening to heartbeat.

He did come to my sweep with me which in hindsight, I probably would have had him wait outside.

freshprincess · 20/06/2011 12:25

DH came to most of the early ones but didn't bother so much towards the end. I have twins and fortnightly check ups, so I didn't really mind. There's only many times you can watch your wife's blood pressure being taken! I was a bit bored with it myself.

Loads of blokes go if won't be unusual at all.

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