I had a VBAC, Dunnyjo. It was brilliant. I've posted about it before, so you could search for my name (normally Ellbell) and VBAC and see what you can find.
The risk of scar rupture is very small, but obviously if it does rupture it's serious (for you and the baby) so that's why they like you to be in hospital, so that they can get you into theatre in minutes if necessary. The risk of rupture is increased massively by induction of labour, so I decided that if I hadn't gone into labour naturally by 42 weeks I'd have another section instead. Doctors were fine with that, but in any case I had dd2 at 37 weeks.
I also decided that I would not have an epidural. Because the epidural numbs your lower body totally it can mask any unusual pain (e.g. pain from the scar area that goes on in between contractions) that might be an indication of a scar rupture. Oddly enough, it seems that many hospitals are happy enough to give epidurals to VBAC mums, without issuing this warning, although they insist on continuous monitoring 'for safety reasons' (see below). Personally, I felt it was better to be as in touch with my own body as possible.
Many hospitals have a policy of continuous monitoring for VBAC births. This is (IMHO - but also in the much less humble opinion of my consultant, whom I trust implicitly) totally unnecessary. Try to get your consultant to agree that you don't need continuous monitoring and that, unless there is any cause for concern, you'll be monitored with a hand-held thingummyjig at 15 minute intervals instead. This will allow you to be mobile in labour, to sit in the bath if you want to, to assume whatever position you want. I am convinced that I wouldn't have coped if I'd been strapped to a bed the whole time.
There are various other things that they might insist on because you are a VBAC. For instance, they may want to insert a cannula when you are admitted to hospital, and they may want to take bloods to cross-match and save (in case things go wrong and you need a transfusion... worst case scenario, obviously). Neither of these things seemed worth fighting about to me, but in the event when the doctor came to do the cannula I took one look at the needle and threw up and she retreated and I never saw her again.
Some hospitals have 'time limits' on the second stage (e.g. at mine it was 1 hour for first-time mums and half an hour for subsequent births) before they start talking about intervention. I don't know what happened with your first birth, but I had not been in labour at all, so I asked to be allowed as long as possible to push my baby out myself. (In the event it was over 2 hours, and no-one mentioned forceps or anything, so it was fine - I think a lot depends on the midwives you have at the time.)
I don't think that they can force you to go to hospital, but there obviously are safety issues, which you'd have to weigh up. Try to get as much information as you can before you next see your doctor or midwife, so that you can go in there and put forward a reasoned argument. My own experience was that my hospital birth was great, but it was great because I worked hard to go in there armed with information and aware of my 'rights' and the issues involved. The midwife who checked me in did read my birth plan and comment on the phone to another midwife that it was 'very demanding' , but everyone else I dealt with was sympathetic to my wishes and did all htey could to help me have a brilliant birth experience.
Good luck. I hope it goes well for you.
(Oh, and by the way, if you really want another section you have the right to ask for that too...)