MIL visit at 37 weeks - Am I being too precious?

[Rootatoot]

Forgive me for repeating myself as I mentioned this on another thread but I don't want to go hijacking that one for my own little whinge so here goes...

My MIL is a very strong lady and whilst i get on ok with her, I feel like I'm treading carefully with her most of the time. We had a major upset before DH and I got married which I won't go into, but it was entirely her own doing (honestly) and I did my best to sort it out but it resulted in me being very very upset in weeks up to wedding and no sort of compromise on her part.

Since then, which was a couple years ago, things improved and in a funny way, she's been better with me because I didn't let her walk all over me back then.

Anyway, I'm now 30 weeks pg and it's our first baby. It will be MIL's 2nd grandchild. We haven't heard an awful lot from her during my pregnancy. She rings every few weeks and have had some nice chats with her here and there but she has been so incredibly busy that we just haven't seen her apart from a flying hour's visit, since february.

I spoke to her a couple weeks ago and asked if she wanted to see us before baby arrives but then when she got her diary out she was busy for every date I suggested up until really late on in pregnancy. I provisionally agreed to a weekend when I thought I'd be 36 weeks but I realised after that I'd be 37 weeks. I just don't feel comfortable with having visitors that late on. I'll be full term. MIL just said that I wouldn't have to do anything (that's not true. Her DH sadly has alzeihmers and we have a dog which they are not good with. Doors open to road, kettle boiled dry etc. ) I won't be relaxed with them around and just feel I've been backed into a corner now.

I looked again at dates and suggested another weekend which I had initially ruled out but thought could work around something but she has replied very curtly that it isn't possible that weekend for her now, as she has now booked a meeting in the day before and it is out of question to reschedule.

Am I being precious not wanting visitors when I'll be 37 weeks gone? I know it's unlikely that I'll be early but you never know and I'll be full term.

I think world war 3 might kick off if I try and put her off, even though I did say originally that it was quite late on and I'd have to see how I was feeling.

Sorry for essay...if you can be bothered to read this...

WWYD? Feeling stressed about it :(

needsanswers blimey, that is extreme. So sorry you went through all of that. My MIL is just complicated. It's not that I don't like her at all, I think it's more that I never know where I am with her. One second she's absolutely lovely (like last night on phone with me) and next she's really aggressive & difficult. She's got a mega temper.

I have been doing fine with 'handling' her over last couple years and just tell myself that it is her issue if she can't accept something reasonable, but it's very hard as I HATE upsetting anyone. I really truly don't want her to feel left out but then, as I say, unless she has everything all on her terms, she gets v aggro. This competitive thing about how often we see my parents as opposed to her, is just nuts. I mean, if I want to see my Mum, I'll bluddy well see her. I don't need to have permission! It's not like I see them often anyway. Got to a point where I try not to tell MIL when I've seen my family, which is just wrong. I was told in past basically to butt out when I was arranging get togethers with her & she said she wanted to arrange things with DH. Well, I have taken a step back since then but I can't win.

Then after all that, parcels have just arrived from amazon, with stuff for baby from MIL which is really kind. So I want to ring and thank her but then now I'm scared to, as I will probably get drawn into discussion about DH from last night & I don't want to go there!

Blimey...why do people need to create such drama!?

Thanks for all kind comments. It does help and it helps to offload too, so thank you all. At least if I let off steam here, poor DH doesn't have to listen to it. Trying to keep him on even keel with stress levels too at the mo!