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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How to stop worrying in the 1st trimester???

33 replies

MrsHuxtable · 11/06/2011 19:53

Grrrrr, I'm 27 and exactly 6 weeks pregnant today (at least that's what the due date calculator says) and I can't stop driving myself crazy worrying about losing this baby.

First, I was convinced it was going to end in a chemical pregnancy. Silly me tested early... And ever since that risk is over, I keep doing research about the risk of miscarriage in the 1st trimester. I need to stop worrying but I can't.

Please tell me, how does anyone cope with the wait til that first scan???
How can I put my mind at rest a little bit?

OP posts:

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Littlepic · 11/06/2011 20:10

Easier said than done I'm afraid.

Perhaps you could consider paying for a private scan at 8-10 weeks. This gives you something more to aim at that doesn't feel so far away.

Dutchie77 · 11/06/2011 21:05

Hi there,

The insecurity is annoying. Believe me, I was on internet most of the times to read all about the chances on a miscarriage. You have to try to be strict to yourself , because internet has all the scary stories.......that doesn't help......

You just want to know that everything is okay. Everybody told me that I just needed trust my body, but that didn't help at all. So we decided to have an early scan at 9 weeks. That took a lot of worries away! From then I started to really enjoy the pregnancy and actually allow myself to feel pregnant, instead of afraid.

Now I'm 12 weeks and I feel very happy. Good luck with it!

PinkFondantFancy · 12/06/2011 07:53

I would agree with the early scan-it really puts your mind at rest as if everything is looking good at 9 weeks, you've got a fantastic chance of everything being fine.

It's important to try and stay positive. I used to look at the baby centre website to see what my baby looked like each week, and then find sone time each day to visualise what it looks like. HTH

roz1982 · 12/06/2011 11:05

I worried like in early weeks and at 16 weeks had a major panic and I still worry from time to time and google frightening things that could go wrong! I think its totally normal. This is my first pregnancy which doesn't help but I have banned myself from looking up miscarriage and try only to look at my lovely positive pregnancy phone app and nice things instead! I really think you have to force yourself to stop looking stuff up, even though its hard. It's a really worrying time and I think what makes it worse is that you have no control over what is happening, your body is just taking over! I'm sure all will be well, good luck and congratulations. x

nannyl · 12/06/2011 11:10

im 27 weeks today

thought id stop worrying at 12 weeks; i didnt
then worried until my 20 week scan (what if something was wrong?)
Then needed to get to viable baby (25 weeks... thought id stop then.... um No!)
(my aunt has lost 3 babies unexplained between 24 / 26 weeks) so thought 27 weeks would be the magic dont worry now date... (it isnt either)
My cousin is currently 31 weeks pregnant and she was admitted to hospital this week..... so Im now worrying about that and need to make it to 31 weeks!

(me / my cousin / my aunt are all close in age and decendants of my grandmother who lost 3 / 7 babies)

To be honest i dont think i will stop worrying.... and once they are born will probably worry even more!!!!!

LadyGoneGaga · 12/06/2011 11:20

Unfortunately I think the worrying goes hand in hand with motherhood. It just becomes "normal" after a while.

I know it's hard OP, having had a mc before at 7 weeks I was a basket case until the magic 12 weeks and even now at 34 weeks spend time googling premature labour outcomes.

But the chances are much in your favour that everything will be perfect. Good luck

patagonia09 · 12/06/2011 13:52

I'm also on first pregnancy. Until I got pregnant, I worried myself sick thinking I was infertile. Then I got pregnant - happy for 2 days. Then started worrying about mc. Stopped worrying about mc now worried about having a baby with downs or similar. Once baby is born I'll worry about cot death... It will never end!! The most useful thing you can do (which is easier said than done - I'm the living example!) is learn to stop worrying and accept that whatever happens, will happen. You can't eliminate the risks and every scan, test, week of pregnancy,etc will not stop the worrying - only you can.
(ha ha ha - I'm writing this in one of my rare zen moments. Yesterday I had a migraine and was literalyl sick with worry!!!)

Fedupteach · 12/06/2011 14:25

I'm on my 2nd pregnancy. DD will be 3 in Oct. I can tell you that this is just the start of the worrying. It never stops! Even after they are born.

I am not even 5 weeks gone, but am scared stiff as I will be 36 next month (even though I have no history of mc or any in the family) and really want to tell people, so that I can start to feel really happy about it instead of having to keep it a secret.

To worry less, I'm trying to keep myself distracted with other things like DD, work and of course posting on forums like MN and BC.

FC for us all out there that we will continue to have H&H pregnancies and a gorgeous baby to hold at the end of it all!

Squiglettsmummy2bx · 12/06/2011 14:42

Same here, giant bundle of worries here that my bf doesn't understand. Havent told my mum I am pregnant yet as I had 2 awful births that she was present for & she isn't that sure of my bf & I don't want an argument with her. Sure I'd b less stressed if I told her tho & had her 2 vent 2 x

shellmc · 12/06/2011 19:08

Only natural to worry, i did myself when i was pregnant with DS.
Nothing you can do will really stop you from worrying, it may take your mind off it but you wont totally stop worrying.

All i can say is that some things happen for a reason and if something awful was to happen, sadly there isnt alot you can do about it. :(
Everyone worries when they are pregnant and getting past those 12 week and 20 weeks scans put your mind at ease slightly but then theres premature birth, complications of the birth and then once your baby is born, its a constant worry.
My DS is 2 now and i still very much worry, all part of being a parent. I remember my mam used to say 'doesnt matter how old you are i will always worry about you' im 26 and she still does to this day ha ha :)

Try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy, altho i spent alot of mine worrying i actually miss being pregnant now. Good Luck and take care xxx

Emmy90xx · 09/10/2014 14:40

I've just seen this post and I know it's a few years old but I'm so glad to find people that worry like me! I'm 9 weeks pregnant and worrying about every little thing! I convince myself I can't be pregnant then do another test and then if the lines faint I have a panic! Think I need to get a grip! So hard to not think of the worst case scenario! I'm driving my oh mad!

croon979 · 09/10/2014 15:20

just wanted to say that I hear you.
I am also 6 weeks pregnant and after having a week of mad internet researching, poking my boobs to see if tender and madly checking my undercrackers, I succumbed last night to buying another pregnancy test just to check that there was still a line and it came up quickly. I have to stop that though as (1) it is expensive (2) I know there is no need really and (3) my HCG levels will soon mean that home pregnancy tests will be useless.
It doesn't help that where I live (on a small island) I also don't have the option of going for a private scan.
Whilst I have been to see my doctor, no tests were carried out and I have not yet received any indication of when my booking in appointment will be or my first scan although I know they aim for about the 12 week mark.
The next 6 weeks will be a long wait. I suppose getting my appointment dates may help me chill out. If I have received nothing in the post (doctor assured me I had to do nothing) within a week, I will make enquiries.
It doesn't help that, during the day, I literally feel great, no symptoms at all and I have a daily panic at around 2-3pm everyday because I figure I should be feeling worse. I am starting to feel a little nauseous in the evenings after tea which I find quite comforting actually as it is the only unusal thing (apart from lack of AF) that I can pin my hopes on. However, the next day I have forgotten about the nausea and then panic again the following day.
Wah!
Anyway, I feel for you. This is my first and I think that the first 12 weeks will be quite hard.

leanne963 · 09/10/2014 17:34

Oh OP I know exactly how you feel, i too am 27 but i am 7 weeks today! I have suffered a previous MC in June, so my usual levels of anxiety are through the roof. I have had two scans already, one private and one NHS. Within 6 days the baby has gone from 2mm to nearly 1cm, so that completely put my mind at rest to know that is it growing at a fantastic rate and that i saw a heartbeat.
If you can afford it get a private scan, or beg your GP. TBH i had a terrible negative intuition about the last pregnancy, something didnt feel 'right'. This time i feel like 'this is the one' so just go with your natural gut instinct.

All the best :D

TheScenicRoute · 09/10/2014 19:17

The definitive answer is... You don't! In fact get used to it, this worry about your child is life long. There is a relief after the 12 weeks, but it never completely goes.

Good luck on this crazy roller coaster. X

pippinleaf · 09/10/2014 20:32

If you're like me, you won't stop worrying until you can feel your little one kicking - 16 weeks for me. Until then I worried the whole time. Even when I had scans it reassured me that the baby was alive and week for the duration of the scan, but then as soon as the scan over I started worrying again. I did take a lot of comfort from reading statistics. 75% chance, for example, means I'm much more likely to have a healthy baby than not. Maths is on your side! I've had two miscarriages before 12 weeks and there's nothing you can do about it if it happens. Just take heart that it is more likely you will have a healthy baby than not. It's out of your control.

Happilymarried155 · 09/10/2014 20:54

I agree with some of the other posters, you won't stop worrying until the baby is in your arms and then you start worrying about a whole lot of other things, is it feeding enough? Is it putting in enough wieght etc...it's all part ivf becoming a mum! X

Emmy90xx · 09/10/2014 21:07

It's so nice to know I'm not alone in my thinking! I worry about telling my oh all the little things because I think he'll think I'm crazy! This is my first too I'm just hoping after the scan il calm down and be able to enjoy my pregnancy! I haven't had my booking in app either as they keep getting cancelled going to chase mine up tmro x

Emmy90xx · 09/10/2014 21:09

Thankyou for all your positive messages I really do appreciate it :)

buggerluggs00 · 09/10/2014 22:18

croon979.... This is exactly how I feel!

In fact I've just started a thread asking if I might have miscarried as I'm so worried that my pregnancy might have ended.

Good to know I'm not the only one, although still don't feel reassured :-(

mrshjb · 10/10/2014 07:34

My advice is step away from Google. I nearly gave myself a heart attack leading up to my first scan because I spent all my time googling missed miscarriages and blighted ovums and all that awful stuff. I was a little bit nervous leading up to my 20 week scan but no where near to the same extent because I'd vowed not to Google anything after the first scan!
Good luck

skyra13 · 10/10/2014 08:25

The only way i kept my self sane to be honest is trust your body!

Your body will let you know if something is wrong you can kind of feel it!

Everything i went to the toilet and i still do i check for blood! I think this is normal!

I know its normal to worry but don't try to over think it try and enjoy your baby growing eat healthy have treats when you feel like it and relax :)

Your body is your first clue it will tell you if something is wrong.

Mslad · 10/10/2014 09:43

I'm another person going up the walls with worry. I have a scan next week and I'm dreading it so much after I had a mmc in June. Sorry skyra but unfortunately sometimes your body doesn't give you any signs...........

I think all we can do is just keep going, try force ourselves not to worry too much, and remember that we have no control over the outcome, and we will get through it no matter what. Hugs to everyone

DanyStormborn · 10/10/2014 11:48

I found it almost impossible to stop the worrying. In the end I thought about what a waste of time all the worry was - it wouldn't change anything. I was terrified of a MMC at my 12 week scan (I had had bleeding at 5, 8 and 11 weeks) but the baby was absolutely fine. Try to remember that although the risk of miscarriage is highest in the first trimester it is still more likely you will have a healthy baby than that anything will go wrong. To be honest I still worry at 19 weeks but I think a certain amount of worry is inevitable in a first pregnancy as you don't know what to expect and what is normal.

cheesecakemom · 10/10/2014 11:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

B4byB33 · 20/10/2014 12:17

I'm so glad I found this post with so many people in the same situation... I thought that I'm usually a really patient person but since my first positive test I've been the complete opposite... To date I've done 6 home pregnancy tests (all positive) but the only thing still going through my head is (am I really pregnant?) if I am I will be over the moon as it's taken 1 year of trying.

I've got to the point where I've booked a private scan which is this Saturday and that has given me some relief... I couldn't have waited for the 12 week NHS scan when all I've had to tell me I'm pregnant is home pregnancy tests... No confirmation from doctors (which I expected)

I'm hoping all is well as right now it feels surreal ! x

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