Pregnant again after two losses...feeling wobbly

[southernbell]

I'm pregnant again, just a few weeks, after two losses in the last year. Pleased, of course, but how do I stop myself being terrified of it happening again and try to enjoy it? Dreading the next few weeks until my 12w scan...

Congratulations :) Hi there - my DS was born after I'd had 2 early MCs. I was not that good at stopping myself being terrified but basically relied on complete denial and repression and pretending I wasn't pregnant at all.

Have had another 2 MCs since and am now pregnant again so am in the same situation again - it isn't fun, but it is worth it if it works out :) Hang in there..!!

PS there is a thread in "conception" called "freak out room for those newly updiffed after MC" with a lot of people in the same situation; they're all very nice on there. If you decide not to take the denial route, that is ;)

starkadder beat me to it!

Do consider coming over to the Freak out room, it's great for hand holding, daft questions and just plain mentalling.

I do understand how you feel - I'm 9wks prg after two mc's this year. It's tough!

you are me 32 weeks ago... its hard but it does get easier, especially once bubba starts squirmimng. just make sure you demand anything you feel will reassure you ie early or frequent scanning. :)

Congratulations Southernbell! I feel exactly the same, I'm 5 weeks+ 2, and I had a miscarriage in feburary at 6 weeks! I keep doing tests every day, just to make sure the positive line comes up just as quick! It feels different this time, I have no bleeding, and I'm willing the sickness to kick in so I know its a healthy pregnancy! The plus point is, I had a beaming red line in 3 seconds after peeing on the pound shop pregnancy test, 1 week before my period was due.....so I feel like this pregnancy is healthier, and it feels right! Fingers crossed for us all and our little bumps! :)

Congratulations! It's completely nerve-wracking being pregnant after 2 misses and it took me so long to relax when I was in your position. What did make things easier though was having a fantastic EPU at my hospital, who were happy to see me at week 6, 8 and 10 plus everytime I had a niggle (tummy bug which was just like the one before 2nd miscarriage at some point between 12 and 20 weeks).

Speak to your GP to find out about early pregnancy scans, especially around the stage you miscarried and they should be able to support you.
The good news is that my baby was fine, I am now pregnant again, past 12 weeks (tended to have mmc's where foetus stopped growing/heart stopped around 10 weeks) and all feels a lot less worrying this time (partly because, similarly to starkadder, I have tried to put being pregnant to the back of my mind).
Lots of luck xxx

Thank you everyone! I guess I've just got to ride it out for now. I am going to try my gp re early scans though, might help me accept I'm actually pregnant, denial fully setting in. Thanks for the support. This is my first post, didn't know what to expect. Find me in the 'freak out' room soon! X

I understand how you feel completely. I felt exactly the same 38+5 ago after 4 m/c.

I coped thru utter denial, like starkadder. I kept just telling myself that my period was really late. I also agree with saramia & pecanpie that reassurance from EPU scans and your GP will really help.

It has been documented that tender loving care can actually influence the outcome. My consultant wrote 'needs TLC' on my notes this time and whether it is that or something else thats made this pregnancy work I don't know.

Hope so much that everything works out for you x

Can totally sympathise southernbell - I didn't even do a test until about 7 weeks after an early m/c in Jan. So I opted for total denial route until I had an early scan at 9 weeks then allowed myself to feel a tiny bit of hope. Now 18 weeks and all going well - I'm still much more nervous than last time (I have DS who is 2) but hopefully after 20 week scan, all being well, I'll be a bit more excited! Lots of luck x

I too had two MC's before the birth of my gorgeous DD. I must confess that I felt disconnected throughout her entire pregnancy as I didn't want to become too emotionally attached again after facing such loss. It was clearly a coping mechanisim and perhaps a shame that I didn't enjoy my pregnancy more. I didn't feel completely happy until I held her in my arms. She's now 3 and perfect and everything I ever hoped for and wanted in every respect. I have now mourned my losses and truly believe that this is the child I was meant to have. Good luck and a big hug during such an emotionally conflicting time!

My sympathy - I'm now 9wks after 2 MMCs.
I asked my Dr to refer me to the Early Pregnancy unit for a scan at nominally 8 weeks - (turned out to be 6 weeks) - I found that it really helped.

I'm now waiting for the routine 12 week scan and wondering why I haven't got an appointment yet ...