I have taken a longer time to find my path in life than most people because of a disruptive childhood I needed to get my head around.
I am now at the age of 26, doing my A levels with the aim to doing a teaching degree, by the time I qualify I will be 31 (at the least because after the degree I want to train in Steiner teaching) but I am worried about when the right time will be to have children.
if I do it within the next couple of years it will disrupt my studies and I don't want to have a minimum wage existence like my parents did, but if I have children as soon as I qualify, I will already be older and less experienced in my chosen career and not an asset to an employer with small ones as I definitely want to be at home for the first four years of my children's lives.
My partner is 45 and if I hold off until I qualify he will be 50 (which is how old my dad is just about) which is no age to start raising a family, I am so confused.
I love my partner so much and we have such a stable relationship I can see us happily ticking along together for ..well ever really, but I have no perspective on the situation because I am in it.
I keep asking myself is there a future in this/ why invest in something that could end and my decision to have kids is getting stronger as I become more sorted as a person.
But then I think oh I could die today, who's to tell what's around the next corner why not be with the one that makes every day so wonderful instead of worrying about the illusory future.
any comments appreciated x