To ELCS or not

[Mum2Pea]

Sorry, this is a long one ???

Some background
My mum has had 3 babies ? I had to be resuscitated, 1 was a stillbirth and younger sister had cord wrapped around her neck, so was always fearful that something would go wrong in my PG.
Did lots of reading and research with DD and came to the decision to try for a natural birth and not be scared into having a ELCS.

With DD, my contractions started at midnight. By 5pm that day they were 3mins aprt and I went into hospital.
I was 2cm dilated and labouring well. I requested an epidural and was given one at 7pm.
MW made a point of saying I was labouring quickly and the baby would be with us by midnight which was good / quick for a 1st labour
Since I?d had an epidural, the baby was monitored - they found her heartbeat was not recovering between contractions and warned us a EMCS was possible.
At 8.45 they told us all was fine and I would not be needing a EMCS and could have a normal birth, I was 8cm at this point.
At 9.15 they all went into a flap, DH was thrown some scrubs and told they needed to do a EMCS NOW!
DD was delivered by EMCS at 9.45 and we spent 10 ? 10.30 in the recovery ward together.
At 10.45, I was moved to the postnatal ward and DH was told he must leave now as understandabl other mums were resting and him being there would disturb them.
I was on the ward alone with a baby that was crying in the crib and unable to move from the chest down so unable to comfort her, other than stretching my arm out to rock the cradle. That night in the hospital felt like the longest and most helpless night of my life
My recovery by the C-section was very straightfwd and other than not being ?fit? to drie for 8 weeks ratgher than 6, all else was fine.

Now I'm pregnant with DC2 and don't know whehtre to try for a natural birth again or to go for a ELCS.
I had made the decision to go for a ELCS on the basis that

I went to see the consultant on Monday and they asked me my reasons etc, and at the end, told me to go away and think about it for a further 2 weeks and if I still want a ELCS, they will book me in
They have told me with my previous histriory

1. They would want me to be monitored with belts if I go through with trying for a normal birth
2. They would not let me go over 40+0, and would perform a CS if I havent gone into spontaneous labour by then Its got me thinking again and now I?m back in limbo and don't know what to do!?!?

If I can have a normal birth

1. Can be home quicker (min 24hrs with CS, likely to be 48)
2. Easier recovery (even if have brusing / episiotomy ? shouldn?t be as bad as a surgery cut)
3. Less affcet on my 3 year old / restrictions (if c-section, she?ll need to be careful around me / I wont be able to carry her for a while) It is possible that I would need a EMCS again which feels like I go through all the pain of the contractions, oly to then have the pain of the CS recovery!

If I opt for a C-section

1. I could be sure the baby would not go into distress
2. I could be sure that DH would be with me as the surgery would be at a more normal hour
3. I wouldn?t feel so lost / without control

What would you do? What should I do!?!

Any advice / experience / thoughts are welcome

Hello MumtoPea,
I posted alsomst the exact same question a few weeks ago.
I was induced as DS was 16 days late. Nobody realised he was back to back and with the induction too I was besides yself during labour and getting nowhere (8 hours after having my waters forcibly broken still only 2 cm despite induction drugs) Had an epidural at which point they were unable to follow contractions properly (no idea why, puzzled MW and docs - I am slightly over weight but no where near enough for it to have stopped monitors) DS heart beat went a bit irratic to say the least.
Got to 10cm 6 hours later (still no real ability to follow my contractions)
I was told to start pushing (I had let the epidural wear off a bit at this point so that I would know when to push)
It was only then, during an internal examination that they realised DS was back to back. Now I am small (4foot 10) and DS head was big and the wrong way round.
They rushed me down to theatre hoping to use forcepts but DS had become very distressed and his oxygen levels plumeted so EMCS was performed (17hours after waters broken) When they cut me open, beause I had been pushing, DS had already started to descend so it took quite a bit of effort for them to pull him back up and out! His head was a very strange shape to begin with.

I experienced the same as you. I had a couple of hours in recovery before DH was told to go. I couldn't move at all t comfort DS. In the end I (probably very dangerously now thinking back) leaned right out of bed and managed to pull him across to me where he was promptly sick (amniotic fluid) all over me!

I am seeing a consultant on Monday. I am going to ask if they will scan me right at the end to see if it is possible for me to give birth naturally ie will the head fit through the pelvis?

Fear is driving me towards ELCS but I dread going through the recovery of a c section again, especially as I now have ds who will be toddling around and need lots of attention too.

I really don't know what you should do but I feel your pain and confusion.

thanks Happytree, i hope you get the scan and reassurance you need

its a tough one huh?

I keep going back and forth! I think the most important thing for me will be to not beat myself up for what ever happens. It took months to emotionally get over EMCS with DS as I blamed myself (for being weak and having epidural as I thought that if it hadn't been for that they would ave obviously been able to follow contractions) and that I was a falure (because I didn't really feel I had given birth)
So, what ever I deide, I'm determinded to not blame myself for not doing the other.
I hope you come to a decision that is best for you and both your DC.

I am 6 months with my second daughter. Had a lovely (I mean Really Good) planned section with my first, privately, in Asia. Recovery was astonishingly quick (walking in 12 hours normally, etc etc) breastfeeding was fine and I felt ok for a couple of weeks, then completely fine.

This pregnancy is here and in the UK. I planned another elective section but around 18 weeks in began thinking I should really give vbac some research and serious thought. After all, if it goes swimmingly, I could be out quickly (but in the great scheme of things I think 12 hours vs 48 doesn't really make much difference) and I certainly want bfeeding to go swimmingly again -- in fact I worry even though I am still breastfeeding my daughter (go figure)

I thought long and hard about it. Consultant said no statistics will help (I'm under consultant for preeclampsia for my first) me reach the decision. It just has to be my 'gut', but he said with my history of Asherman's Syndrome, if there is a rupture (rare, but still) it is graver than usual, so we're talking chance of death for either of us. That swung me back into ELCS territory.

So after 2 or so months of giving vbac some serious thought, I'm definitely going to go for an elective. I'm very happy with this decision.

Also, it helps me that emotionally, I don't feel I need to right the wrongs of a previous birth, my self esteem doesn't 'need' a natural birth and that I'm statisfied I've considered seriously both options.

But yes, you're right, it's not a entirely trivial decision. But good luck whatever you choose.