OK - Need a virtual kick up the bum to stop me worrying...

[Bunnyjo]

Am 38+6 with DC2, due on 22nd May. The only family I have that can look after DD when I go into hospital to have baby is DMum and DDad. DDad cannot take any time off work because a fellow colleague is off for 3weeks for his sons wedding in Malaysia and, as he is a field service engineer, is likely to be anywhere in the North of England/ South Scotland each day. DMum had arrranged to look after DD (her work were fine with her taking leave at short notice), but she was also on a waiting list for an (non major, but still important) operation. She has just received the letter this morning and will be admitted on 25th May for her overnight stay - DD was 4 days late so if history repeats itself, I could be giving birth around the 25/26th!

There is literally nobody else who could look after DD, especially at such short notice. She has only just got used to stopping at my parents, my closest friend has just had a baby herself and my other friend is on holiday - all our other friends aren't in a position to look after DD. So the only logical solution I can see, if I do go into labour on 25/26th, is hoping and praying I am in labour overnight (where DDad can have DD until the morning) or DH looks after DD and I go into hospital myself to have baby... Cannot say the latter option is very appealing TBH

Hoping and praying I go into labour over the next few days!

There are options.

Has your husband told his bosses you are going into labour very soon? Has he discussed it with them on how work around this or have you decided they won't be sympathetic? My DP was working away on hugely important business ( well his boss considered it to be so) but even they allowed him to take 2 days off when I went into labour ( then he took time off a few weeks later).

And get on the phone to your friends. They will help but you have to ask. I bet even your mate with the newborn would step in. One of my mates gave birth a month before me with our second kids and she cooked me up meals.

You have to ask around. What about neighbours? We had several neighbours on standby in case of emergency. As it happened it was one of the neighbours who had my eldest whilst I 'popped' to the hospital to give birth.

I worried about this cos we have no family near. I had to just ask about to try to cover all eventualities.

I can see why you'd be stressing. I know its easier said than done, but you're less likely to go into labour when feeling stressed, so try to relax about it as far as you can.

A few things strike me

• a lot of babies are born overnight, so this is very likely, and your dad could have DD, fantastic.
• are there complications that preclude a homebirth? A lot of women choose them because of issues with the care of their older DC. Its not too late to switch.

Also, how quickly will your mum recover? You say it s minor operation, but also that it involves an overnight stay. So much surgery now is as a day patient, even when a G.A. is needed. Then again, patients who've had a GA tend to be quite groggy and not up to speed for a while; also she may not be able to do any lifting etc... I guess what I'm suggesting is that you research more about your mums surgery, and see if she's likely to be out of commission for 1 day, 2 days or more, to help with planning.

Thanks ladies - DH will be off as soon as I go into labour, his company are completely fine with that, it's just whether he will be with me or our DD. DD would love to come into hospital to see baby brother being born but, at 3yr old, I think seeing her mummy in that sort of pain is something I'd rather avoid!

My mum is having an operation is an, ahem, sensitive area - she has some follicles near her bottom that have become nasty infected cysts and keep giving her cellulitis, or at least that is what they are treating them as. She is on strong antibiotics to ensure she doesn't get septacaemia, as they constantly weep now, and the overnight stay is because they think they are going to have to keep her wound open when they've cleaned it out - thus increasing the risk of infection. Even when she does get out, say the next day or day after, the consultant has told her it will be a 6wk recovery period - the recovery being inhibited by the fact the wound will be open! After her release, she will be visited by a community nurse daily until the wound has healed. My mum offered to reschedule the operation, but she has already waited 6mth and is in constant discomfort with it - it would be unfair and selfish of me to ask her to do so.

Neighbours wise, we only have one close by and they have retired - the lucky sods things are actually in Australia, as I type, visiting family and are not due to return until the middle of June.

Am going to get bouncing on my birth ball, eat copious amounts of curry and pineapple, drink raspberry leaf tea and bathe in clary sage until this baby has been 'evicted'

Is a nanny service or a local childminder out of the question (check out your local gov website for childminders). They aren't actually that expensive for a day/night (about £40/£50 for a childminder and £80/£100 for a nanny, depending where you live. It's not ideal but it might put your mind at rest if you know that there is someone to look after your DD in an emergency. Hopefully you won't have to use one because all your bouncing, curry and pineapple will mean you go into labour in the next few days. Fingers-crossed for you.

Thanks for all the suggestions and not suggesting I was being a demented and hormonal idiot ...

Well, DH and I went to Radio 1's Big Weekend (we live in Carlisle) and it seems that all that music has had the desired effect - my waters broke at 3:30 this morning! So baby will definitely be here before my mum's operation and I can stop worrying about who can look after DD now and start worrying about whether I have got everything for baby's arrival and waiting for the contractions to kick in fully

Hey bunnyjo, fantastic news and how super-organized of you. Best of luck and thinking of you.

Great news! Well done! (Walking up and down the stairs is a good one to get thing going once waters have broken)

Still here ladies - having contractions on and off since about 7am, but theyre anything but regular (vary from 5-20mins apart). My waters broke before labour with DD (at 40+2) and I didn't have her until 40+4, so I am beginning to think my body needs a bit of help when it comes to esablishing good regular contractions...

Given up on trying to sleep though, and am now pacing around the living room in the hope that the contractions really get going... Am back at the hospital at 9:30 in the morning if nothing has happened by then - so hopefully, by hook or by crook, I will be holding my baby in the next 24hr or so...

Just saw this, hope it all got regular overnight and either way that it's going well.
X

Sorry for not updating sooner. Our little boy was born yesterday at 10:46am weighing 7lb 11oz... I ended up on the syntocinon drip for 2.5hrs, but did the whole thing on G&A - second stage was a mere 15mins, which was a bit of a shock for both of us!

Got out of hospital late last night (had to stay in 12hrs after birth because of the membranes being ruptured >48hrs) and now at home enjoying being a family of 4!

xx