People are making me feel like an elephant...

[newmumtb]

I'm 23-24 weeks, at the last scan the baby was right at the top limit for size,and I'm already massive. I'm 5.2 and DH is 6.4 so the baby is his daddy's size.
The problem is, everyone from people from work to random strangers in the street have decided to marvel at the fact my bump is so big already and its starting to get to me. I haven't been sitting at home eing all the pies, I'mnot even eating much more than befor pg, but now I'm starting to worry I'm gaining too muich wieht even if it is just on the belly.. How big are/were the rest of you at this stage?

Hi there. It varies so much newmum. I'm just a week or two ahead of you and I don't think I'm too big but then I'm quite tall. I think if you are petite, it will seem very noticeable to you, & it's obviously 100% bump and not pie eating! It doesn't follow either that you will have a big baby so don't worry about that. My SIL was whopping at same stage as me but her little boy came out at a nice 7lb.

If you are eating healthily, there is no issue and I'm sure you'll be back to your normal size post baby. :)

It's so annoying, isn't it? People think they are paying you a compliment, but it's really not what you want to hear. I'm afraid it's only going to get worse... Hopefully, you'll be able to stop caring (like I did) and just let the comments wash over you!

I agree it is very annoying when people say these things - perfect strangers saying "ooo not long to go now" (um yes, 12 weeks actually) and even worse from inlaws ("are you eating for 2?" I only put on 7lbs in my pregnancy" "Grrrr no and I've put on exactly the right amount of weight thank you very much"). It might help to bear the following in mind:

• If people are commenting on the size of your bump it is probably because your bump is very prominent, which means you can't look as if you have put on general weight

• it doesn't actually matter how big your bump is, people will still say this anyway. I measured big with DS1 and I got all these comments. But with DS2 (currently 36w) I've been measuring small since about 28w, and I STILL get people saying these things.

Also, about 23 weeks is when I suddenly got massive both times (big babies at 20w scan) and suddenly got loads of comments, a few weeks later and the size of my bump wasn't so at odds with my dates to the outside observer (though to be fair the comments never stop...)

I'm really shocked people call me fatty- they mean it jokingly and actually think they're being nice meaning you're just starting to show (something I'm keen to do to avoid just looking fat which I do now!)

I've not put on any weight since being preg and I'm 20 weeks now but I look fatter (wider hips and bum as well as losing waist but don't have a bump shape - equally annoying for different reasons. I feel your pain!

Hx

Since being pregnant I have developed this ability to be short with people who treat me like public property....fat public property....

I wasn't skinny before but not in any way big. I havent really put much weight on other than baby.

So people who keep saying my god aren't you huge now, or you are massive etc etc I have begun answering them back (for actually fattys) " I know...but at least my belly is temporary what's your excuse" for thin/slim people I usually pick out something that they are self conscious about and commenting on that....they don't like it!!! I usually follow up with...see it's. Horrid someone updating you with how you look isn't it.....makes them think!! My boss told me I was a beached whale! I'm not jokey with him so it was a real shock so I said he was out of order and also not one to talk!! It amazes me how people don't think normally when talking to pregnant women....they wouldn't normally tell you u look like rubbish, are huge and comment on your eating! So why they choose to when you feel vulnerable, hormonal etc is beyond me.

Excuse the rant!

I should add I would never dare say something like that normally as I'm very easygoing but I have felt so self conscious since being pregnant which I didn't think I would be.

I had to say something tho as other peoples comments and reactions were making me feel awful about myself which isn't nice.

I wasn't massive at that stage according to my midwife but she said as I am short I will look a little bigger as baby has hardly any space on me to grow!

I am not small, about 5"7 and size 12, but had 2 big babies, 9pm 15 and 10lb6

Under normal circumstances it is considered rude to comment on someones size but for some bloody reason that seems to go out the window when it concerns a pregnant woman. I was HUGE. A man on my street told me I could charge for people to come look at me like the bearded lady at the circus

And a stranger in next asked me when I was due and how many I was having when only 13 weeks pg on dc2!!!!!!

I've been jokingly called fatty, and someone said to me yesterday "are you sure you're not having twins you're massive aren't you?" I wouldn't mind but I'm not exactly big elsewhere.

It's made me feel a bit better it isn't just me, I'm just telling bump not to listen :)

It continued afterbds was born too, everyone just used to say "he is huge" and I would always add "and lovely"

Pissed me right off

22 weeks now. So far have had the following comments:
"Going to be a hot, fat summer for you"
"I'm putting on weight as fast as Chinateacups"
"Gosh I didn't realise I'd been off work so long. You've got big, haven't you"

Yes. I now have a little person who is 20cm long inside me. I should expect I have grown a little.
I wish I was witty enough to have a retort for all these duffers who think it's open season.
And, to add insult, I am still smaller than many of the women in my office. (I am not small now - was (a work very very hard to maintain) size 10-12 5'7" before pg, but have grown accordingly, maybe a little more than I ought, but not hugely huge (like I was with DS1)).
Issues? Oh dear. Was that a rant? Should I blame it on the hormones? Pass the cake

I am in the same boat! I am also 5'2 and my husband is 6'4. I am 27 weeks with DD#2 and people always make comments when they find out I am not about to give birth at any moment. It isn't as bad as with DD#1 because I am a SAHM so I don't have to hear it as much. I can't tell you how many times people asked me if I was having twins with my first. It is very frustrating, but try not to let it bother you. My doctor is also a mother and very petite and she told me not to worry, when you are short the baby has no where to go but out. In the end you'll have your sweet baby and be back to your cute, petite self, probably weighing a lot less than all these fools making the comments

Just strated my own thread about this and then spotted this one, i'm huge at 20 weeks and was getting worried, glad to see its not just me then!

I'm 21w with twins and people keep saying comments like "not long now then..." So I reply in a firm matter-of-fact voice "actually I'm due in Septamber!" I watch their face go red with embarrasment, then I let on it's twins and they look relieved. I'm hoping this method is teaching them not to be so bloody rude.

I've always complimented people's bumps and would never imply they look the wrong size!

From 20 weeks till 35 I've been lying about my due date just to shut people up! I'm also a shorty and dh is tall so my bump is always big (this is dc3)
I'm 37 weeks now and FINALLY people have stopped going on and on about my size!! It's like I'm ALLOWED to be big now...

Its unbelievable people can be so rude

I sympathise. I spent a wedding when I was 36 weeks being told I must be ready to drop, careful your waters don't break and we'll get the towels ready blah blah blah by total strangers - I felt like everyone was going oooh look at that enormous pregnant lady.

People should just sod off and mind their own business!

Am now 6-7 weeks and already showing, god knows how big I will be but I will probably spend most of my pregnancy glaring at nosy strangers!

I haven't put on too much weight but have a colleague who says everytime he sees me a variation of "who ate all the pies" or "oh my god you are massive" - yep thanks for that.......

The worst thing though was and it was so horrifying I can only admit it now was that when I was about 14 weeks (and some people couldn't even tell I was pregnant) me and DH went car shopping. I was wearing a coat I have had for over a year, i.e. not maternity and when we went inside to talk to a salesman about going on the mailing list he turned to me and said "who has been eating all the pies then?" I looked at him and he said "when is your baby due then dear"

I told him July, but I am not sure to this day whether he just made a lucky guess that we were shopping for a family friendly car or my coat has made me look pregnant for a long time. I didn't buy a car from him........

I am in the opposite predicament.... am 24 weeks and every second person feels its their job to tell me how 'tiny' my bump is and how when they were that far along they were SO much bigger! I am a pretty laid back person, but it is starting to grate now, as I feel I have to justify that my baby is healthy and things are just as they should be! I am sure I would be winging if it were the other way around also, but I hate the implication that it isn't 'normal'.

No, I am not tall and no I am not fat... my belly has just not properly 'popped' yet! GRRR!

On the other hand, my sister has taken it upon herself to try and make me feel bad about myself by referring to me as 'plumpkin, fatty, fats, chubber'... you get the picture. Ironic when I am about half her size and I am 24 weeks pregnant!

I feel I may have hi-jacked this thread, apologies about that... but thanks for letting my get that off my chest

I'm the opposite. I'm 5'4" and DH is 6'3" and everyone always remarks that I'm quite "compact" - e.g. small (at 34 weeks). Just this evening my sister was saying I'm as big as she was at 5 months. Now DH is wondering if we're having a midget. :-)

Everyone carries differently. I'm personally going by non-bump and non-boob sizes, and also by the recommended weight gain for my BMI. Those measures tell me I'm perfectly normal.

If I were gaining a loss less weight than what is recommended, then I'd also worry we're having a dwarf. But I've so far gained 28lbs which is in the right range.

So if you feel comfortable with your size, e.g. all the weight is clearly going to your bump & boobs, then ignore them. Clearly they know nothing!

You have my sympathies, I can't wait to have this baby. I'm currently 39ish weeks and have put on 3stone from pre-preg weight of 11stone, am 5'7". Started to show really early, like with my first pregnancy. Can't really say how big the baby will be as I had my DD at 34wks and she weighed 4lb6oz. Seems people here have had negative comments from both angles, either you're showing too much or not enough. To be honest, starting to feel like two kids will be enough for me, not got enough incentive to take on pregnancy related abuse again.

I am so pleased Im not the only one :) Thank you all on your input, Ireally did not expect to be so insecure about the way I look. I guess its still a huge change to your body image and howver confidnt you are, its still hard to take all the comments about your size. The latest one: I was asked what excercise routine I was ing to adopt after I give birth :) As I will have all the time in the world to do sit-ups with a crying baby :)

I have only recently experienced this (currently 35 weeks with DC4) a perfect stranger asking "how long have you got to go?"' "5 weeks" I replied politely... " I dont think you're going to make it that long" came back. I was so shocked I couldn't say anything remotely cutting.

But to top it off... the very same day, a relative (male) I have known for years but not seen for a while commented " wow, your bump is so big, and it's really low - you arent going to make those last 5 weeks are you?"

WTF? Im 5'6 (DH 6'3) and yes, I do have big babies and reasonably big bumps (although my first 17yrs ago was a much much bigger bump than this one) but its only this pregnancy I have had such stupid comments! Do you think its a change in social attitudes to preganant women?

Willowcrow I think there probably has been a change in general attitudes in relation to people feeling its OK to comment on what people look like as we are all encouraged to look and comment on people in magazines like Heat and on the internet.

Don't get me wrong I love all those types of magazines personally, but I think society has lost a bit of politeness, I mean in addition to all the rude comments people have had experience of here in relation to their size, there are other things people say or ask that are shocking, such as several people have asked me if I planned the pregnancy or if it was an accident!

And as for the uninvited touching of the stomach, I put on another thread I said "don't F***G touch me" to my FIL's girlfriend as she came towards me hands outstretched. In my defence there is a host of reasons why I can't stand the woman and I am not normally so rude but I am fed up being seen as public property!

Sorry hijack of thread to social commentary but I find it fascinating that people can be so out of order :-)