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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Seeing the sex of the baby by mistake, if you don't want to?

21 replies

grottielottie · 11/05/2011 21:57

Just wondering if anyone has seen more than they wanted to at the 20 week scan, and guessed the sex? Or is it too difficult for the untrained eye to see?

I want to keep it as a surprise (but have a feeling since the 12 week scan).

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Valiant1 · 11/05/2011 22:00

i did with ds2 he was defo a boy

buttonmoon78 · 11/05/2011 22:33

If you tell the sonographer that you don't want to know then they generally steer away from that area.

Bess12 · 11/05/2011 22:38

I told the sonographer we didn't want to know and said she would let us know when she was going to that area. She didn't and both my dp and I saw the willy and knew we were having a boy. Then 20 weeks later a beautiful baby girl was born!

Thornykate · 11/05/2011 22:39

DS2 rolled over & opened his legs, we couldn't miss that he was a boy!

CrazyAlien06 · 11/05/2011 22:46

Great post! I was wondering the same thing:)
Have 20 wk scan in next couple of weeks and don't want to find out the sex. This is my first and we have no experience of Anthony baby related so were wondering if we would be able to make out the sex with our very untrained eyes?
Do the sonographers usually ask u first if you want to know? Or is it best we say straight away?

MollysChamber · 11/05/2011 22:52

I was desperate to see but couldn't make anything out. I had girls though - think it's easier with boys

meditrina · 11/05/2011 22:52

Tell them you don't want to know. And even if you think you see, you may well not have done as it's easy to confuse cord with willy, and takes quite a lot of skill to spot the "golden arches" of a girl (apparent absence of willy isn't sufficient).

EggyAllenPoe · 11/05/2011 22:55

boy was obvious. (i mean no way was that the cord)
girls less obvious, but i was still right(yes, it is 50.50 anyway..)

however even i you get the profesional opinion it can be wrong- you can't be certain until birth.

apricotears · 12/05/2011 04:14

24 weeks with little boy. Was extremely obvious at the 18 week scan from certain angles! If you don't want to know, I would tell he sonographer before you begin! It was okay for us, because we wanted to know, but would have been a big disappointment if we wanted a surprise.

amatuermummy · 12/05/2011 07:43

I told the sonographer before she started the scan that I didn't want to know. She stayed away from that area totally. She seemed a bit put out though, I think they like telling people what they're having :)

Lollyheart · 12/05/2011 08:58

I am in the same situation, well Ive had my 20 week scan last week, we couldn't see anything, was so relieved, but have been told I need a scan at 28 and 34 weeks to check on the growth, so have to go through it all again trying not to look

We said when we went in we didn't want to know, she told us to look away when she was in that area

Original poster

grottielottie · 12/05/2011 09:40

Thanks for the replys, think we will have to say when we go in then just in case. I didn't look too much when we had the 12 week as I became strangely squeamish, something I'm going to have to get over in 23 weeks when the time comes!

OP posts:

ct148 · 12/05/2011 10:10

When we went for our 20 week scan we told the sonographer as soon as we went in - and she said she'd let us know when she was going in 'that area' and we could then look away. It was difficult to look away though because although I didnt actually want to know, the more curious part of me was screaming 'just have a little look, one look won't hurt!!' - I stayed strong though!

sunface · 12/05/2011 10:18

Great post! i've got my 20week scan next week for my 3rd baby and i'm very tempted not to find out. have 2 girls already so chances are it'll be another girl but would still like to be surprised. figure i'm not that well trained that i'd be able to tell even if the sonographer did scan 'that area'? Or can it be really obvious? What are the indicators that it's a girl??

PrincessScrumpy · 12/05/2011 10:19

I had to have a scan at 32w with dd after not knowing at 20w scan. dh wasn't able to be there otherwise I'd probably have been tempted. Sonographer asked and I said no, so she told me to look away. Was so hard thinking that she knew and I didn't - so glad I had the surprise though.

With our twins we did ask and looked - I was sure one was a girl and one a boy from what I could see - they're supposed to be ID! Sonographer and dh corrected me, both girls. Just be clear to the sonographer - I've only met nice ones so I'm sure they'll make sure you don't see.

PrincessScrumpy · 12/05/2011 10:20

Sunface the indicators for girls are 3 white lines in that area.

sunface · 12/05/2011 10:43

ahh ok thanks princesscrumpy. tempted to dig out my old scan pic of my other 2 DD's to see what i can see!

AppleyEverAfter · 12/05/2011 11:07

We wanted to know and the sonogrpher showed us open legs with 'no boy bits' but she wouldn't commit to it being a girl either. She seemed a bit put out that we asked and said it wasn't her concern what the sex was! So we'll have to wait and see. TBH I am rubbish at seeing things in the scans unless it's a complete profile of the baby's body. But then, I'm rubbish at Magic Eye pictures to and to me they look like them!

Mizza76 · 12/05/2011 11:37

With my first, i didn't want to know. At 34 weeks I went for a late scan for various reasons. The first thing I said was that I don't want to know, and the sonog. referred throughout to 'it'. However, there was also an intern in the room, who was there throughout and heard me say that I don't want to know. When the first dr sat down to write her notes, the intern asked if she could take a look at the baby, and of course I said yes. Inevitably she referred to 'she'. The original sonographer jumped up and said that 'some people refer to fetuses as he, some people refer to them as she' but the cat was out of the bag... Was v annoyed!

HappyAsASandboy · 12/05/2011 12:48

We didn't know whether to find out or not, and asked the sonograher to look and then ask us again at the end. We were sure we only wanted to know if she could tell us the sex of both twins - really didn't want to know one but not the other!

5 mins later, twin one floated across the screen with legs spread wide. No doubt he was a boy. The sonographer confirmed, and then we looked at twin 2 specifically and found a girl :-)

IME the sonographer will try to hide it from you if you ask and they can. However, you really need to remember that the 20 week scan is to check for anomalies. The sonographer has a job to do, so she really shouldn't be distracted by trying to either show you things or hide them from you ....

candr · 12/05/2011 21:34

You need to tell the sonographer if you don't want to know. We asked ours if she could tell at 12 weeks and she said it was a boy, she then said "ooops you did want to know didn't you?" as apparently lots of people ask her if she can tell but forget to say they don't want to be told. You can also look for 2 black ovary dots for a girl but our boy was quite clear so would have had to have looked away if we wanted surprise.

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