Struggling to come to terms with unplanned pregnancy

[Scheherezadea]

Hi, first post on here.

I'm 17 weeks tomorrow, with a long-term very supporting and loving partner. I had to stop working when found out I was pregnant, and I've also had to put my horse out on loan.

So I'm stuck at home, feeling utterly and completely useless, a pointless waste of time & money. My partner is having to work to support both of us, he's got a good job with excellent prospects, but it's a lot of pressure for him. I can't help but feel he resents me, even though I know he probably doesn't. I'm not a good cook, but i try. I try to keep the house clean, but that's all I have now, all day every day - washing up, dusting, hoovering.

I've lost the one thing that keeps me smiling (apart from my partner!), I've lost my job. I was top of the class at school, went to an elite UK university, and now I'm a nothing, if anything I'm now holding him back - and he was meant for bigger better things than working and studying to keep me.

And to top it off I feel guilty for how resentful I feel towards my baby because of this. Termination is and was NEVER an option. But I don't want to hate the kid when it comes, and I'm worried I will. When people go on about how excited I must be, all i can manage is a smile and nod.

So sorry for the moaning first post, but I need to get this out!! I obviously can't tell any friends or family this, and it would kill my partner to hear it, though he knows I'm unhappy, btu trying hard for him.

Gosh your ex boss sounds like a right moron!!

Seems like you've been busy and your post sounds so much more positive than your first.

Phone your mw for information, it's part of her job! I have a large age gap between my ds's and dd, and it literally was like having my first born again when I had dd, but the hv arranged for me to attend a new mums group at a local gp's surgery. I was dreading it....... thought it would be all much younger mums, but it wasn't! They must have matched us lol. Lost touch with several but there's a group of 4 of us who are still very close and all the kids are coming up to their 5th birthdays. Two have gone into business together, although yet to make their first million .

Just give everything you can a go!

Have you been into register with any recruitment agencies for temp work? You may find you could get a couple of days reception etc, especially coming up to summer when there will be holiday cover required x

what about volunteering in a school ? :) We always need extra help, the school will pay for CRB checks x